**The following are some thoughts I have regarding a current situation in my life. Without getting into the “what,” I wanted to share the “how God is working” part.**
The crying always catches me off guard.
Maybe it’s because deep down, I don’t feel like it is something that I should cry about. So when the tears do come, they stream down my face abashedly uninvited.
Yet it makes me sad, and the recipe for tears is sadness.
There are so many other worst-case scenarios. No one is dying. No one is moving away. No one is choosing an alternative lifestyle.
It’s just that a decision is being made—one that unintentionally but ultimately causes hurt. I can put it into perspective. I can exercise my use of rationale. I can believe from the bottom of my heart that this is truly what they feel God wants them to do. But all those things don’t take away the hurt and the sadness. It just doesn’t.
Through it all, it has shown me that God works in ways that are personal to each individual, and the way He works for one person is not necessarily the way He works for another. I can’t always understand why Person A can drop their life and move away to a foreign country to do missions. I can’t always understand why Person B chooses to stay in his boring job and use that as a mission field. I can’t always understand why Person C feels comfortable where she is, and why Person D moves on to another place. The point is, I am not Person A, B, C, or D. I’m Taryn. Jesus speaks to me personally through our relationship together, and no one else is in on that. My job is to follow Him as He leads me.
The way He leads me may never make sense to another, and it may be a beautiful thing to someone else. The point is, I can’t spend my whole life doubting others and their choices or claiming it is faulty because I don’t understand. Sometimes, my job is not to understand, because it’s not my decision to understand. At the end of the day, we all make decisions for better or for worse, and it is up to each of us as an individual in our own personal relationships to Christ as we make those decisions. Some people have an amazing source of wisdom in family and friends, and some people do not, but one thing we all have is the source of Truth—the Word—and God as our guide.
I can write and know all this in my heart. But I still miss them, and I always will.
God works in mysterious ways, and in the end, Truth & Love WILL reign. May we all show Love in the best way we know how while we live on Earth.
**As I have progressed on this journey, I have found certain treasures to be helpful to me along the way. One was found in one of my favorite devotional books called “Jesus Calling.” I will share its words:
“When things don’t go as you would like, accept the situation immediately. If you indulge in feelings of regret, they can easily spill over the line into resentment. Remember that I am sovereign over your circumstances, and humble yourself under My mighty hand. Rejoice in what I am doing in your life, even though it is beyond your understanding.
I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. In Me you have everything you need, both for this life and for the life yet to come. Don’t let the impact of the world shatter your thinking or draw you away from focusing on Me. The ultimate challenge is to keep fixing your eyes on Me, no matter what is going on around you. When I am central in your thinking, you are able to view circumstances from My perspective.”
I have found that keeping Christ at the center of my thinking drastically changes my attitude and perspective. God is teaching me over and over that the only way to attain true peace and joy in my own life is to take my “self” out of the way. Self wants what self wants, and self gets easily confused and swayed by emotion and circumstance. But God guides, and when I let him take control, all else falls into place.
One promise I love about our God is that He has the “grand scheme plan” figured out… and with that, our best interest at heart. The situations we find ourselves in can’t and won’t always make sense. After all, we serve a God so much bigger than ourselves… who are we to think we can understand Him and His ways? It’s a foolish thought. So with that in my mind, I look ahead to the future where I know God has so many wonderful things in store, all orchestrated by events, actions, and circumstances that surround me now.
May God be glorified in and through it all!
Love you all,