T

Losing Belle

2012-02-18T22:06:00.002-06:00

On Valentine's Day, when I arrived at work, there was a little gift bag on my keyboard.

"What's this?" I asked.

"I don't know," Kristi said in her-sing-songy-just-open-it voice.

Inside the bag and beneath the tissue paper was an antique-looking plate with beveled edges and the picture of a cat on it.

I love it, because I love cats.

Just 3 days later, I had no clue that one of the cats I love the most would be leaving this life.

Her name is Belle, and my mom received her for a Christmas gift in December of 1998. Just a tiny little calico kitten then, she lived indoors until she was old enough to brave the outdoors. She ran around our house and got lots of attention. She slept in the laundry room, and my mom would often find her fast asleep in the sleeves of our dirty clothes. She would do a "kitty check" before tossing the laundry into the washing machine, just to make sure.

She lived inside for quite awhile. We didn't get her spayed the first year, and consequently, she went "into heat" the next Christmas. For anyone who has been through this, cats in heat are not the most pleasant to be around, especially when you're trying to celebrate Christmas together as a family. So we put her outside and said "Good Riddance."

This resulted in 4 beautiful baby kittens just 2 months later on March 1, 2000. Belle gave birth to 2 black kitties, 1 black & white, and 1 orange. We found homes for 3 of them and kept the orange male, calling him Pumpkin.

Belle and Pumpkin were mother and son, and did just find living outdoors together. But to anyone around, it was clear that Belle was the favorite. As a classic female cat, she walked around high and mighty and with attitude. You earned her respect and love. She LOVED to be vocal about everything. She "talked" to us all the time. My favorite activity was to imitate her meow exactly, and then she would meow back. We would continue this until she would end up tilting her head up with a series of low, satisfied meows, her eyes slightly closed with contentment.

I called Belle "Bellsie" or sometimes just "Sa." Don't ask me how I came up with that latter nickname. I loved Belle-- as a little girl, when Belle still lived indoors, I made a makeshift "leash" out of one of my purse straps and hooked it onto her collar so we could take walks outside.

Belle was also a nice buffer to have around for when my first childhood cat and best friend-- Whiskers-- died. Whiskers was a big gray cat that I had known my entire childhood. I used to have picnics with him and dress him up in clothes. I would bring him inside when I was a little girl and take naps with him or let him lay on my lap in bed while I read books. Even though I always got in trouble for bringing him inside, I did it anyway, because I loved him so much.

I made up a middle named for Whiskers, and I assigned him his favorite colors. I drew pictures on the garage floor by his bed with chalk, and wrote stories about him all the time.

When he turned 18 years old, we found out he had a cancerous tumor on his eye. Before long, it was clear that Whiskers' quality of life was deteriorating, and he was in pain. Against my wishes, my parents made the appointment for him to be euthanized.

But even though I didn't want to see him go, even as a little girl, I understood it was better for him to be put down. It made me sick with sadness to think about it, so I would go outside into the garage and talk to Whiskers. It was winter, so the heat lamp was on overhead, and he would always be curled up and sleeping on a bright blue blanket.

They say that animals help lower your blood pressure, and I believe it to be true. I can remember talking to him when I was sad, and telling him my many woes. Even though he could not talk back to me, I knew he understood my little girl stories, and all I really needed was a listening ear. I can remember crying to him, telling him I loved him and I didn't want him to die.

But I knew he had to die. And letting him die was the nicest thing I could do. So on March 14, 1999, we took him to the vet. I can remember going outside and sitting on a car bumper with my sister Tasha, and staring at the green fence behind the vet's office. I can remember thinking: This is one of Whiskers' favorite colors. Green. Also, the color of his eyes.

I can remember the vet telling us, "He went right to sleep." And the card that came in the mail a week later from the vet's office, offering their condolences. It was signed from everyone at the vet's office.

I can remember mourning him for weeks... months. I was 12 years old, and this was one of the biggest losses I had experienced. Whiskers had been a part of my entire life.

However, as I said, Belle softened the blow. She was around, and although she did not come close to replacing Whiskers, she was a new treasure to be enjoyed.

Eventually, Belle was just what her name means... a beauty. A beautiful creature that helped mend all of our hearts and help us move on.

Within the past year, it suddenly hit me how old Belle was becoming.

"She's 13 years old," I told my parents. "She could die within the next few years."

My mom scolded me for being so morbid, but I couldn't shake the feeling. I loved Belle, and what if her time to die was soon?

It came sooner than anyone of us expected.

No one is exactly sure how it happened.

We had been gone on vacation, so no one was around the house to observe her for almost 2 weeks. Upon return, my parents didn't notice anything out of the ordinary; in fact, the day before she was found sick, my mom said she saw her laying in the front yard by the pine tree, and she stooped down to pet her.

Very early the next morning, my dad heard her meowing outside of his basement bathroom window. It sounded stranger than normal, so he went outside to investigate. Belle was curled up in the corner of the house, trying to keep warm. Seeing that she was cold and weak, and thinking she just needed to warm up, my dad carried her into the garage, placed her in the heated dog house that the cats share, and covered her up.

At lunch time that day, my parents checked on her again. Her condition had not improved. She was still very cold, and could hardly lift her head. This is about the time I was called.

"Taryn," my mom said. "I think Belle is dying."

We made an appointment to see the vet, and I came home to see her.

When I arrived, both of my parents were sitting on the basement room floor with her. She was laid out on a giant pillow and covered with a towel. She couldn't lift her head or do anything. She was still purring, though, and every once in awhile, she would lift her head just a little bit and meow. It was weak, but it was Belle's meow-- her "Hi, I'm here," meow.

Seeing her like this, my eyes filled up with tears. I think my heart knew what was coming before I could mentally process it. When my parents explained to me that if there was nothing we could do...

I knew what would have to be done before they could speak it.

I buried my head in her fur and sobbed.

We took her to the vet. My dad carried her on the giant pillow to keep her comfortable. The vet came in and checked her. He tried to take her temperature, but it would not even register on the thermometer.

"That's not good," he told us. A normal pet's internal temperature is normally over 100 degrees. Belle's wasn't even discernable.

Her paws were cold to the touch, and she was so weak.

"It could be a number of things," the vet surmised, "But I'm afraid that if we treated her, it would kill her."

My mom nodded with understanding, and then spoke the inevitable.

"That is a good option," he told us. "Do you want a moment alone with her?"

Much to my surprise, I nodded my head no.

Almost as soon as I made the decision, I regretted it. I regretted it because what I really wanted to do was to take Belle home with me, to put her under a heat lamp inside and cover her up with blankets and let her get better. I wanted her to recover and live another 3 or 4 years, be able to lay around on our porch in the sun, sit in our grass, welcome me home when I come to visit, let me brush her and talk to her. I wanted all of this but knew I couldn't have it.

So I stood close while they searched for a good vein. She was so dehydrated that they couldn't find one.

"She doesn't want to die," I said, sobbing.

And just like that... she was gone. She didn't look like it, but she was. I pet her fur, and I could still almost feel her purring, feel the soft rise and fall of her belly.

We took her home and buried her in our backyard, right next to Whiskers.

It was a beautiful day outside-- my favorite kind-- with the bright blue sky and sunshine. Even on the saddest days, God has a way of smiling on me.

Immediately, I went inside and dug out our old photo albums. I flipped back to 1998 and collected an assortment of pictures with Belle.

I was astounded at all of the other lives and events that Belle had overlapped... my Grandpa and Grandma Schupbach. My first day of Jr. High. The end of Whiskers' life, and the beginning of Kitty's. She was alive for every single birth of my nieces and nephews.

The rest of the day was hard. That evening, I picked up the phone and called my mom.

"What if we let her go to soon?" I asked, beside myself. "What if we should have waited. Brought her home, to see if she got better? Maybe she just needed to warm up. Maybe..."

"Taryn." My mom told me all the things I knew to be true but couldn't yet accept.

That she was old. She was in pain, and she was very sick. There was no "coming back" from a temperature that couldn't register, and that we did what any pet owner who loves their pet does.

I hung up the phone and I cried. I cried for Belle, for the life she had, for how much I will miss her and already do. I cried for all the memories that she helped me create. All of the people and events she was connected to in my life.

Then I felt foolish. Why cry as if this was a death in the family? It's a cat, not a human. But despite her feline makeup, it felt like she had the impact of a family member.

It's true-- she didn't hold my hand on my first day of school, but she was there to send me off. She didn't attend my High School graduation, but she was at the party. And she may not have bought me Christmas presents every year... but she was there to help me open them. She can't grill a hamburger, but she was more than happy to eat the crumbs that fell off the table at our family events, and put up with all of the grandkids who "pet" her on hot summer days As much as we try to say "Well, it's just an animal," it truly is more than that. At the end of their life, we mourn not only who they were as an animal, but all of the moments they were there in our lives. The good ones, and the bad ones. The important ones, and the ones that weren't so monumental. The days that the sun shone, and the days that the rain poured.

I used to think that "All Dogs go to Heaven" was a silly phrase that someone made up to comfort small children. As I get older and learn more about the real Heaven, I realized that God has made it a perfect place for everyone. It is an amazing, happy, loving place, a place where He places the finest of gifts and the pleasures we enjoyed on Earth will be there in their most perfect form in Heaven. In my heart, I think this includes cats.

I know that animals do not have a soul, and that my experience in eternity does not hinge on whether I get to be reacquainted with my pet cats. What I DO know, though, is that God is a big and mighty and loving Lord, and that He allows us to go through times of loss to refine us. He gives us blessings, and at times, He takes them away.

Luke 12:6 says "Are not give sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God."

I love it that we have such a personal God. If a sparrow is not overlooked, then neither was Whiskers, or Belle. God knows each of those felines and who they were in my life... and that's all that matters.

Love you all!

White and Bright

2012-01-12T16:51:00.002-06:00

My last blog post received unexpected popular support and tears. This encourages me to continue writing, and perhaps lighten the mood a bit.

Today is our first real snowfall of the winter. I'm a fan of the late-winter appearance. While a White Christmas warms the heart with Holiday cheer, if the alternative means a dozen blue-sky 50 degree days instead, I'm game. I'm a sucker for the sunshine and the warmth. By now, I am usually sinking into a mild Seasonal Affect Disorder depression and dreaming about beaches and pineapple and sun tan lotion at night.

To the contrary, I just checked the calendar and was pleasantly surprised to see that my Florida trip is coming up sooner than I thought. Additionally, Kristi and I just booked a desert wedding in ARIZONA for THIS MARCH! We are over the moon. We purchased the airfare today. Not only does Phoenix offer a magnificent backdrop for this event, I also have an amazing family to stay with and visit. Plus, AZ is beautiful this time of year... bursts of pink flowers paired with sunny day smiles. The explosion of color is a sure contrast to our grayish Marches in the Midwest...

...and might I mention that by the end of March, my Florida tan will likely be starting to fade, so why not fuel up on sun again?

I'm done bragging. Onto the next topic... Cousin's Coffee. I started attending last Thursday morning. It's delightful. A bunch of us "loosely-related-Domnick-cousins" get together for coffee and chatter at a local coffee shop in Morton. We sit around a big table, sip lattes and tea, and tell stories. I love it. There are many ages present... I love the variety.

Anyway. While I would love to stay and write on, I should wrap it up. 5:01 on a Thursday evening... I need to slosh through the slush and drive home, eat a leftover chicken enchilda for dinner, and meet a friend at 7.

Love you all!

On My Own

2012-01-08T14:22:00.001-06:00

I have been wanting to write for awhile. Phrases and topics have been running wild through my imagination daily… and at those exact moments, I wish I could transfer them from my mind to paper. But it doesn’t always work that way, because my best ideas come to me while standing in line at Starbucks, or while running a wedding meeting with a customer, or while deciding between Ranch or Italian dressing in the aisle at the grocery store.

Alas, I come tonight, ready to spill my thoughts. First up is Kitty.

She’s a real joy to have around… keeps me from growing too lonely. In fact, sometimes I lock her in my office so she doesn’t bother me. She insists upon being by my side at all times, whether that entails watching me eat my dinner, stalking my legs and feet as I walk by, or curling up on top of me at night in bed. She has fallen into the toilet multiple times already. She loves to drink out of my bathroom sink (not sure why) and my glasses of ice water. Each time, I carry her to her water bowl and place her in front of it, but it’s just not as cool. She stands on the bath tub ledge between the shower curtain and shower liner while I take showers, and has taken a nap on every piece of furniture in my house.

In a lot of ways, she is still like a little kid. She does exactly what I don’t want her to do, and she knows she’s doing it. Thus, the introduction of a spray bottle filled with water labeled “Kitty.” When she’s naughty, she gets sprayed. She is very outgoing, nosey, and independent. She doesn’t want to do anything by force. It has to be her idea. Fortunately, it is often her idea to curl up next to me on the couch or sit by my side while I’m working on a project, so I never feel too alone.

Transition to my new home has been easier than I expected. The first couple of times that I went back to my parent’s house, it was hard. It seemed weird that I didn’t live there anymore, and the thought of “leaving” to go “home” was a foreign concept. However, it didn’t take long for my new little house to feel like home. It helped that I got to take my bed with me J and some other familiar pieces of furniture.

I do miss my parents, and the constant companionship of having other human beings around. I had a sad moment with each. The night we moved me into my house, my mom, sisters, Kristi and I gathered around my kitchen table for a take-out meal after a long day’s work. Tonya said a meal prayer for us, and after the prayer, I looked over to find my mom in tears. It was a touching moment for me, because up until that point, I was trying to stay strong and not let it be sad. Seeing my mom’s tears, though, and knowing that she would miss my presence at home and the feeling was mutual, brought tears of my own. We shared a special moment then.

My other sad moment was the next evening, when I went to pick up Kitty from my parents’ house. She stayed there an extra night due to me having a busy weekend and not being home much to get her used to her new house.

I gathered all of Kitty’s things and packed her away into my car. I ran back inside for one last thing, and as I did, I saw my dad.

“Hi Taryn,” he greeted. “What brings you here?”

“I’m just here to get Kitty,” I said, then I smiled. “Why Dad, did you want to say good-bye to her?”

My Dad grew from “tolerating” Kitty to actually liking her in the couple of months she had spent at my parent’s house.

“No, no, that’s OK,” he said.

I said good-bye and went outside to get into my car. As I pulled away with Kitty in my lap, I saw my dad watch me leave from the window of the back door. He watched as I pulled away and drove down the street to my new home. Just like that, I burst into tears.

It was like a scene from those songs or movies you watch where the kid drives off to college and the parent watches sadly as they go… and I couldn’t help but get sad one last time. There was no “coming back.” I was truly moving on, venturing into a new chapter in my life. In a sense, I was “growing up,” even more, and taking from their house the last thing I had to claim (Kitty.) It was a realization that gripped me and had me sobbing all the way to my new house.

But upon arrival, I wiped the tears off my face and dropped Kitty in the back door. She sniffed around and was quickly acquainted with her new digs. It was fun seeing her get used to the new place and explore the rooms.

Ever since, I have been happily living alone. As I grow older, I have noticed that I have become more independent. If you had told me 10 years ago that I would be living by myself in a little house, I would have laughed. But at this point in my life, it just seems like the perfect fit. On my first night at my house, I remember thinking it was strange that being here alone didn’t feel more “weird.” But it truly didn’t. It just felt “right,” and I had a contentment in my heart about the entire situation. Even after everyone left and there was nothing left but the finishing touches they had all helped me make on my house… I felt at peace in my new little home.

A wonderful feeling!

I will be back soon to share more life stories. Until then…

Love you all.

Home Sweet Home

2011-11-30T19:08:00.004-06:00

Today, I became a homeowner.

It all started about 3 months ago. The thing is, I have always loved living at home. Always.

I enjoy the special time I have with my parents-- they are pretty cool!-- and all of the perks associated with having a nice, big warm home to live in. The benefits of staying always outweighed the benefits of moving out, in my mind. Considering I am quite an independent person and like to have my own "space" and "time," I have stuck around for awhile. I could never wrap my mind around leaving, and it always saddened my heart to think I would one day make that move.

However, at the beginning of this Fall, the small little thought of "moving out" crept into my mind. With it came a peace that it would soon be time to do it.

I don't think I told anyone this, but one night I did a search online to see what was available for rent or sale in this area. Nothing really popped up, but I was just curious.

Furthermore, I knew when I did move out, I wanted it to be a smart play financially and emotionally. I wanted it to be a situation that would help me to settle in somewhere and not move around (i.e. renting with room mates, etc.) It was also important to me to have a place I could call my own and MAKE my own, because we all know my taste tends to be a bit eccentric... at times, in a way that only I enjoy :)

Anyway, shortly after this way of thinking entered my mind and my little search took place, I found out that one of our family friends was looking for a job out-of-state. She had applied for a teaching position in Indiana at our church-run Gateway Woods.

I found out she was accepted for the position and was THRILLED for her! Sad she would be moving away, but excited for her opportunity.

My very next thought was: What will happen to her house? Her house would be PERFECT for me.

It is a very small, 2-bedroom, 1 bath house situated on one of the main drags in Morton. I have always thought it was a cute little place. In fact, I grew up going over to her house for "Girl's Nights," in which my cousin and I would stay up ALL night and watch movies (and we would occasionally get scolded for being so loud!)

Anyway, the house itself had a special place in my heart, and I allowed myself to imagine what it would be like to buy it.

The next morning, I shared these thoughts with my mom. Unbeknownst to me, my mom had been with our friend the night before and she had told my mom, "I want Taryn to have my house." This likely occurred at the same time I had the same thought!

Later, I found out that she had also had a tremendous peace about me getting her home. She told me, "You will never really know how dead certain I was that one morning back in early Sept. (after I knew I was taking this job) that the Lord just spoke to me (clear as a bell!) and said this house needs to be Taryn Kaiser's!"

It was such confirmation to hear that! It definitely affirmed the peace I had in my heart and mind to make this purchase.

Anyway, the moment the idea starting coming to fruition in my mind, I did not waste another moment. I found out who I needed to contact and what I needed to do to get the ball rolling, and I started the process of buying my very first home.

All along the way, the Lord has taught me many lessons! It has been a Faith-building experience for me, as I tackled something I have never done before in my whole life. However, it is awesome to see how God blessed this decision and I am SO excited to move in very soon!

I will share more later about my house, my plans, and post pictures when it is ready. For now, I just wanted to share my EXCITING news. I am officially a home-owner!!!

Praise Jesus!

Love you all,

Taryn

The Happiest Visit

2011-10-28T21:05:00.000-05:00

It was a day that we had baptisms of two twin boys at church. I was standing in the lunch room, catching up with my mom.

"Hi Gwandma," I heard a little voice say. A little voice that at 6 years old, still struggled with the "R" sound.

I didn't realize who this dark-haired girl in the red polka dot dress was until she had her arms wrapped around my middle in an embrace. I looked down to find my niece, and all at once became overjoyed, greeting her with, "Hi Sweetie!"

It had been 7 months since I had seen her sweet face in our church.

As if her sudden presence turned on a faucet, my eyes started to brim with tears. I looked over at my mom to see that her eyes matched my own.

"I can't do this," she told me, shaking her head. Losing control, she fled to the nearest bathroom.

I almost followed her, and then thought better of it, knowing in my heart that if I joined her, we both would return with puffy, red faces.

So instead, I stood by myself in the lunch room. For a moment, everything continued to buzz on around me while I composed myself. Breathing deeply and willing my tears to go away, I wiped at my eyes and told myself to be strong.

A couple of minutes later, I found my 2 oldest nephews, the brothers of my niece. I was glad to see they had accompanied their dad, as well, in attending the baptismal service on this special day. The twin boys getting baptized had him as a Sunday School teacher a year before, and had invited him to come.

I sat down while my oldest nephew ate his lunch and chatted with him awhile. We talked about his school, his teacher, his friends. When it was time to head upstairs, I stood up front with my nieces and nephews and sang. During the song service, my oldest nephew looked at me and asked, "Should I sit with Grandma?"

"Yes," I answered immediately. "She would love that."

He needed no further prompting. During that afternoon's service, our bench was filled with 6 of my mom's grandkids + myself from 2 different families... more than it has seated in quite some time. It was almost like things had returned to the way they were before.

I sat closely to my two oldest nephews and helped them with puzzle books, and watched two older boys be baptized.

Sometimes I think it's rather silly that I allow myself to become so upset over something that seems so small. But these special moments with my nieces and nephews... seeing them run upstairs from Sunday School every Sunday, eat a chocolate donut, sing upstairs, sit with them during the service... all those little moments add up. Suddenly, those small things equate to something really big.

So it's not that I mourn for where they are now... which is still a lovely church environment with a wonderful Christian teaching. Rather, I mourn what has seemingly been taken from me, which are all those little moments in the future that I will never have back.

Yet in all things, God has a plan. I am learning to see the good in all situations, regardless of what my own desires are.

CA Highway Patrol

2011-09-18T22:10:00.002-05:00

Me?

I'm just sitting at the kitchen table, sipping cold coffee and working on a PowerPoint presentation for the Child Sponsorship Program.

In some ways, I feel like I'm back in college... putting together picture, video, music, etc. late at night like this. The football game is on in the other room, with casualties on the couch, proof of a busy weekend.

The Pumpkin Festival was spectacular this week. Just perfect weather, and numbers estimating in the 60,000 range attended on one of the days. And the best part was, there was no rain on our parade.

I enjoyed my usual pleasures: an elephant ear, an apple cider slush, pumpkin ice cream, and of course my favorite dinner of pork chop, nachos and cheese, and pumpkin pie every single night.

Every year, our church makes a home-cooked dinner for the carnival workers and serves them on Tuesday night (before the festival kicks off), and I was able to attend and take some pictures. I really enjoyed it!

Meanwhile, I currently feel like a train hit me. Not exaggerating. I tackled the 2-mile "fun run" yesterday (all by myself-- my nephews ditched me). My dad ran the 10K and since we all start at the same line, I jogged with him for about 2 minutes before we parted ways onto our separate routes. There were many others I knew who ran.

I ran last year, too. This year seemed to go by really well and I actually prefer running by myself. I can set my own pace and not feel pressured by whoever is beside me.

Anyway, I felt great after the run but not so great when I woke up this morning. I could barely walk and my neck and upper back feels like someone threw bricks at it last night while I was asleep. Nonetheless, I pulled off my 2 miles yesterday and received a "how to run properly" lesson today from my dad: Just remember, "California Highway Patrol," which equates to "Chest up, Hips out, and Push off with your toes..."

My mom told me that if my abs/ribs area hurts, it means I ran right. So there is a positive to all this pain.

Needless to say, next year I may just train a few weeks in advance. You know, maybe run a mile a couple weeks beforehand or something. :) Who knows, perhaps one year I will try the 10K?

My aunt and uncle are in town from Arizona. So tomorrow, I was invited to go with them and my parents to the Lincoln Museum in Springfield. I am a little excited, because I quite enjoy museums and it will be a fun way to spend my Monday. Of course, it had to occur on my busiest day in terms of meetings, so Kristi is being kind enough to take on of my order sessions while I'm gone. The rest of the week looks pretty busy with quite a few shoots and a continued effort to keep up with all of our editing before we kick off our next several weddings.

Well... I need to keep working on this volunteer project. Then it's the couch for me tonight. We also have other relatives in town so none of the bedrooms are available... and this is my weekend off of work, so I get the basement :) but I must say, the couch we have down there is pretty comfortable. I can't complain.

If I make it to the couch before midnight tonight, it will be a miracle...

Love you all!

Going to Jail

2011-09-04T23:13:00.004-05:00

Today I went to jail.

I frequent there... about once a month. Fortunately, after being there for about an hour, I get to walk right back out and go on with my life.

But each time I go, I learn something new. My perspective changes just a little. My mind is renewed. I am more thankful, and my picture of life is more clear.

To offer just a small amount of background, about 2 years ago, my heart was moved to become involved with the jail ministry in our church. I have always had a desire to touch those who are in broken circumstances, and the Lord showed me a way to do it. I knew up front that this would be a stretching experience. And it is. But each time I am stretched, I learn more about God, about His character, about trusting, and about His love.

When I am scheduled, I prepare a lesson and go early on Sunday mornings, ready to meet whoever wants to attend church. There can be anywhere from 1 group of 2 ladies to 2 groups of 6 ladies. We pray together, we read the Bible together, we discuss, and we share prayer requests. An older lady in our church usually accompanies me, and I love her support and wisdom.

I have heard so many stories. I have seen women moved to tears, at their most broken state of addiction. I have seen mothers locked away for months without their children, and daughters spending weeks away from their families. I have seen the emptiness of alcoholism and drug abuse. I have seen ladies who reach out with desperate trust in God as their court dates approach, unaware of the outcome and its consequences.

Today, for the very first time, I visited a girl in solitary confinement. It was shocking. She was locked away in a small room with a bed and a toilet. When we arrived, she was just waking up, and her eyes were foggy with sleep. Her face was covered in acne, and her hair a tousled mess. Depression was in the air.

The door separated us from her. We could only see her through a tiny panel of window, and we spoke through a small open slit. We talked to her for a few minutes and then we said a prayer with her.

She had been there for 3 months for a minor infraction.

My heart ached for her.

"Anytime you get low this week," my cohort said, "Just remember that we are praying for you."

The power of prayer has never been so meaningful to me. I know I will not forget to pray for her.

Then we left.

As we walked out, out into daylight, out into freedom, I said, "It makes me thankful..."

She nodded, agreeing, "Thankful for my upbringing," I finished.

"Thankful for parents and a family and a church that taught you the Truth," she added.

"Exactly. Because if I didn't have that, who's to say I wouldn't be where they are?"

I thought more about it on the way home.

I thought about why God chose for some of us to grow up in a loving, Christian environment, and why some of us grew up in a dysfunctional family with widespread sin. Having been handed such a wonderful example, I am, of course, responsible for a lot more.

But what of those who do only what they know... and what they know is drinking, drugs, and sex?

The more I visit jail, the more I see it as a haven of rest-- a second chance. God's way of taking these women and stopping them in their tracks and turning them toward the Light.

And their brokenness, their lessons learned, their ability to look at life with a renewed hope does more for me than they will ever know.

My conclusion was that while I may have had the better upbringing... without them and their steps of faith up out of the pit... we wouldn't have the chance to see God's glory at its best.

The more life I live, the more I understand God's purpose behind broken events-- a sudden death, a terminal illness, an orphan child, a jailed victim... the things of life we, as humans, have such a hard time "understanding." Whether one is put into such a circumstance in innocence or due to consequences, it is in and through those situations that God is most glorified and people are touched. And what is life, if God is not glorified?

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Love you all!

Africa Images & Video

2011-08-24T16:10:00.004-05:00

For those of you who have journeyed along with me on my African trip via my stories, thanks for reading! If you don't have Facebook, I will post the pictures that the FB world has been enjoying over the past couple of weeks. There are quite a few albums-- the early ones are "teasers" that I posted, and then the rest of them will refresh your minds from my blog posts.

At the very end, I am posting a video that summarizes my African experience. It's called "Africa 2011." Click on it to view.

Enjoy!

Taste of London

Taste of Zambia

African Journey: Traveling & Tour of London

Sports Day: Wednesday in Africa

Our VBS Day: Thursday in Africa

Friday in Africa

Last Days in Africa 1

Last Days in Africa 2

Africa 2011

Love you all!

Last Days in Africa

2011-08-20T21:42:00.002-05:00

Last Days in Africa...

Saturday

Heather’s alarm went off at 5:20 a.m. I snoozed in bed until she told me that we had only 5 more minutes before we had to leave and then I reluctantly rolled out of bed.

It was early and cold, and my bed was warm, not to mention one of the most comfortable beds I have slept in for quite some time.

After getting dressed and finding out where the bus was, we boarded. The team slowly but surely trickled in, and we started off for the airport in Lusaka. The two teams with us all week were headed home, including several who had been there for 2 weeks, a group of 3 who had arrived a week before, and 2 who had spent the summer in Zambia.

About 15 minutes into the journey, our bus driver, Joseph, pulled to the side of the road. Bus trouble.

It didn’t take long for a few team members to fantasize about being left in Africa for a couple of more days until the next flight would be leaving. However, fortunately we were able to flag down a couple of other vans to load our luggage and our bodies into.

We were carrying another African in the front seat of our van, but he hopped out halfway through and since I was sitting backwards on the ground in the back, I took his seat in the front.

It was then that I fell in love with the front seat. For starters, I quite enjoy the unique situation of being seated on the left rather than the right as a passenger. Secondly, at this particular point in the day, it was early morning and the sun was rising in front of me. In a slightly drowsy mood, I dozed as the sunlight streamed in and warmed my face. Third, I really like being able to see right out the windshield in front of me, as it offers a great view of Zambia culture like an Imax show. Why did I not discover this sooner?

We were soon at the airport, so we hopped out of the vehicles and took any luggage in sight, quickly stepping into line and allowing the necessary team members to come claim their luggage. We said our good-byes to them, and when we were confident that they would, indeed, make their flight, we wondered outside and waited for Joseph to come pick us up. Unfortunately, he was 40 minutes away.

I worked on a Word Jumble in the pleasant morning air, and we chatted and made plans for the day. I was delighted when David suggested going out to breakfast and then shopping.

Joseph finally arrived, and he took us to Mint Café. It was a cute little café set in a shopping mall, with green chairs, tables, and menus and over-sized silverware decorating the walls. Their selection was awesome! I ordered a waffle with caramel sauce and cinnamon sugar… it was amazing… similar to eating an elephant ear for breakfast. I also added a mocha-nutella-hazelnut blended coffee drink. Dream come true! Up until this point, I wasn’t sure that Africa had very many sweets or desserts. It was cause for concern. Worries vanished!

David ordered a hearty breakfast, Heather a mushroom-egg omelet, Whitney had an avocado-egg omelet + a Twix crepe, and Kailey had mint tea and some delicious-looking toast with veggies and meat on top.

We then went in and out of a few other shops. Before doing so, we met up with a guy in the parking lot to buy some Zambian soccer jerseys. I broke down and bought one for myself and for my brother after seeing how cool they were. I wore mine for the rest of the day.

David took us to another mall that was better for shopping, and we all purchased some fun things at a craft store, and bought some soccer balls for the LS kids at a Walmart-type store.

Around noon, we grabbed lunch at another AMAZING café. In the words of Heather, “It smells like heaven in here.”

We all ordered a sandwich, and then once seated we had the opportunity to select from various delicious smoothies, coffees, teas, and shakes. Heather and David both ordered a white-chocolate freezola. Oh my word. It came as a frosty white concoction, and it tasted similar to drinking a frozen marshmallow. It was very good!

Luke met back up with us at this point, and we hopped in the van that Josep had been driving us around in. We traded it our for the huge bus we had originally started out in, and all 6 of us rode back in it to Kitwe!

The journey was long. I started out in the front again, my new favorite spot. I eventually made my way back… most of the others had stretched out across 3-4 seats to take a nap. I did the same, then headed up for some more front-seat action. We stopped a few different times for bathroom breaks, and bought a bunch of oranges. They tasted SO good and refreshing. I peeled and ate 2 oranges and shared some with Joseph. Cookies also helped sustain us all as we talked about many things on the way back.

We didn’t arrive back to Lifesong until around 7 pm. We were dropped off back to our little house to take showers. The water heater wasn’t turned on, so I experienced my first freezing cold shower. Doable, but not enjoyable.

The boys had planned on coming back in about 30 minutes so we could eat dinner and watch a movie. Heather was busy making eggs and potatoes. Whitney had just stepped out of her shower, and everything went black.

“This is not happening!” I heard her shout.

It was. Power outage. It was completely dark, but fortunately I had just opened up my laptop to download some pictures, so I used it as a light for Whitney. Kailey had a laptop, and Heather dug out her Farm ‘n Fleet flashlight. We set it up in the kitchen and sat on the couches for about an hour. Whitney went and got her pillow, and laid on the kitchen table for awhile!

We had a little pow-wow there. Almost an hour and a half went by before the boys finally showed up. The first thing David did was give us a cell phone. Thank goodness! We were wondering how to communicate with them.

David and I broke down and ate some cereal. It was 9pm and with no dinner or electricity, dinner had been put on hold.

Right after my 2^nd bowl of cereal, we decided to put the movie Tangled on. Luke had just gone on a hunt for some matches and had no luck, but brought in a little brown puppy from outside. I was mildly disgusted until I sat down on the couch and it fell asleep in my lap… and then it was so cute, I couldn’t not like it. It kept stretching on me and growling in its sleep. Aw.

Suddenly, the room lit up. It had been about an hour and a half without lights, so we were thankful for electricity! Heather hopped up and finished making dinner as we enjoyed our movie.

It was a long day, but a fun one… we finished it off relaxing and everyone crashed afterwards.

Sunday

We were up and ready for church by 8am, when David picked us up. We attended United Church of Zambia, the same place we went last year.

As always, I love the African singing and praise. They move and dance with such joy. The lesson was weaved with the phrase, “Your days are numbered, so live them wisely.” The pastor read from Ecclesiastes 3 (one of my favorites!), Daniel, and Ephesians (about walking carefully). It was a good reminder to live responsibly and live intentionally… I sometimes forget that my days are numbered, and it is only God who knows how much time I have. I must make every day count and not waste a minute or this precious time—it’s truly a gift.

The service was only about 2 hours long, and we left a little early since they were going right into communion.

After church, Heather, Kailey, Whit, David, Luke, and Shane (he is going to be moving down here in September with his wife and kids to help run the school) all drove to Nsobe Game Park, which is about an hour away. Upon arrival, we sat outside in the BEAUTIFUL weather and ate lunch.

It is situated on a grass knoll by a huge lake. The trees shaded us, the sky was blue, and the weather was perfect. It was so relaxing and enjoyable. Most of us ordered chicken burgers. After lunch, we walked over to the snakes and were even able to check out the deadliest snake in Africa. Yikes! We also held a baby crocodile and saw some birds, bunnies, and owls.

At 3pm, we left for our game drive. It was so relaxing and pleasant. I was reminded again and again by the sights and smells of Fall. I know this is their winter, but it’s crazy to me that I will be returning home to a humid summer in Central IL!

We saw deer-like animals everywhere, monkeys, and zebra… no giraffes. L We did get to revisit the wonderful huts tucked away in the woods… we all agreed that it would be absolutely amazing to stay in one of them. They are open to the beautiful African air, all of them have beds and a bathroom and seating with beautiful furniture and the option of massages, spa services, etc.

After our game drive, it was almost 4pm so we headed back to Kitwe. It was almost 6pm by the time we arrived back and traded out a vehicle, so we decided to eat at Mona Lisa’s for dinner. It was amazing!

We ran into Bob Walker and his family of TEN kids, as well as Rachel, their tutor. They had decided to go out to eat on this very night, too, to celebrate all the kids passing their grades and moving onto the next. It was fun seeing their adorable kids again. They are all so friendly and cute.

We ordered pizza and cokes, and enjoyed a relaxing evening eating dinner. The pizza was amazing!

After dinner, David drove us girls back to Plot 1 for a relaxing rest of the evening.

Monday

Monday was our last full day in Zambia. We got ready in the morning and walked to the school. Upon arrival, I helped David with a video project while the other girls finished up a work project.

We video-interviewed Lucy (the principal), several teachers, and older kids. The goal is to put this footage on the Lifesong website. It was so neat being able to hear everyone talk and give their perspective on LS School and all the work God has done and continues to do in Zambia.

After this, we grabbed a light lunch and everyone walked to the compound. Lucy and Albertina came with us. We took a couple of the kids with us so they could show us their homes. The compound is about a 10-15 minute walk from the school.

We stopped by Veronica’s home but no one was home, so we moved onto Alan’s home. In seeing the compound for the second time, it was a little less daunting and a little more eye-opening. We saw tons of children (who don’t attend school) running around, toddlers without clothes or unattended walking by, ladies carrying food and very few men.

We were invited into Alan’s home and sat down on the floor and talked with him awhile. We found out he doesn’t have a blanket to sleep with at night, so we gave him one. On the way home, David talked to him and found out that his uncle (as a double orphan, he has no parents) comes home drunk frequently. He may have the opportunity to live on the LS grounds with an African couple there, which would be awesome.

When we returned to LS, we ate a snack of crackers & cheese and yogurt, then went outside and read books to the girls. They absolutely loved it! We started on dinner.

After this, Luke and David took us to the strawberry farm which is about a mile away from the school. There are other vegetables grown there but mostly it is rows and rows of strawberries.

We had the chance to walk up and down the rows, pick strawberries for dinner, and pop a few in our mouths. They were delicious! Some of the boys from the school were there and had fun helping us. It was about 4pm in the afternoon. The sun was getting low in the sky and warmed us all as we enjoyed this beautiful place! We were also able to tour Shane’s home, which is situated on that land. He was there working on it and getting it ready for his family to move in sometime in September.

When we returned to David & Luke’s, we finished up dinner, which was an inventive concoction of chicken, tomato sauce, potatoes, carrots and onions over rice. And, of course, fresh strawberries. It was really good!

After dinner, we made popcorn over the stove, then decided to have a late-night snack of crepes with strawberries, honey, and Nutella. They were delicious. Heather gave Luke a haircut, and we all sat around and relaxed, discussing what we would take home from this trip.

It was a special last day. Tuesday was our very last day in Zambia, and David took us by the Curio Market on the way to Ndola. We bought some fun things and headed to the airport. David ate lunch with us there, then we said our good-byes.

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This Africa trip was such a breath of fresh air in my life. I enjoyed renewing friendships I created on my first trip, and was encouraged by how God is working at Lifesong School in Zambia. Satan is still alive and well in some situations, but God overcomes! Furthermore, it instilled in my heart a desire to continue to travel to other countries and cultures and capture their stories.

Love you all!

Friday in Africa

2011-08-17T21:54:00.002-05:00

We sang with the kids at the school—for the last time for most of the team. Most of the kids showed up in their bright yellow hoodies. The LS kids presented a program to us as a thank-you and good-bye.

All the kids did a great job singing and dancing, but my favorite was an older girl who recited the 23^rd Psalm. Her voice was strong and powerful, and very moving.

It was then time to say good-bye to the kids. It was a pretty emotional farewell. A lot of the Americans were either misty-eyed or crying, and some of the LS kids even broke down.

After piling in a big bus for our 5-6 hours journey to Lusaka, we waved good-bye one last time to the kids lining the rock pathway.

The rest of the day was spent sitting very closely to one another in the bus. Halfway through our journey, we stopped at a grocery store and bought groceries for lunch, since the restaurant we were going to eat at was too busy.

We picked out lunch meat, bread, chips, cookies, fruit, and yogurt. I am sure that our mob of white American was quite the spectacle in this busy grocery store, but it was an interesting experience.

Especially when a group of us had to go to the bathroom.

“Expect a very thorough pat-down,” David warned us.

He was right! Before using the bathrooms, we had to stand with our arms held out while a lady literally patted every facet of our body to make sure we didn’t have a gun or stolen item hiding in a crevice. I must say it’s the first time I’ve been through something like that!

However, while slightly uncomfortable, it is these experiences that are memorable and eye-opening to their culture.

After buying the groceries, we loaded back up onto the bus and created a lot of crumbs from the sandwiches and chips… enjoyed the sweet-tasting fruit and yogurt, and devoured the cookies. A lot of us talked, played Euchre, read books, or napped for the remainder of the trip. At one point, I was given the floor to administer a verbal Myers-Briggs personality assessment. I was so excited to talk about this with a bunch of willing listeners—it was like a dream come true! Personality types never grow old for me…

By the time we arrived at Eureka Game Park in Lusaka, it was around 5pm and getting dark outside. We wouldn’t have time for a game ride L but we did entertain ourselves for a few minutes with a giant pile of corn cobs.

We climbed to the very top and did some group jumping. Then, after one of the boys did a back flip, Luke decided to take a whack at it and literally almost whacked his head off. The top of his forehead hit a piece of wood while he flipped, and the read of his forehead was scraped and bleeding. After nursing his wounds, we ordered dinner and settled into our chalets.

The chalets were nice—some had several beds and others just 2 or 3 depending on who was staying together. We met up as a team and ate dinner, and then grouped up in one of the bigger chalets for devotions and share time. David Z. talked about evangelism during his devotions, and then we all had the opportunity to go around and share what we felt God was teaching us on this trip to Africa.

It was very encouraging to see how each and every person had something different they were experiencing. God is so big and works in each individual’s heart in unique ways, and it is always exciting to me to see how He speaks to us all personally.

For me, this trip had been interesting thus far. I wrote in a previous blog entry that while I was excited for my 2^nd trip for Africa, I was hoping that my expectations from my previous trip wouldn’t be shattered when this trip was completely different.

I will say that this trip was definitely different from my first in a lot of ways. The first and most obvious was the fact that since I had been here before, nothing was new to me. The unique culture differences, the places, the faces, the kids… even the travel. I had done all of it before. And while it had been done before, you can’t recreate something that has already happened. This is neither good nor bad, but as a lover of new things, new places, and new experiences, this “newness factor” of shock and awe did not exist for me on this trip.

Furthermore, I remember from last time that I had to do a lot of processing. Seeing the church, the kids, the school, the compound, the living conditions, and hearing the stories of a lot of the African people had my heart in knots. I had to think through all of that and come to terms with the fact that different cultures operate in different ways. I had to examine my own life and consider that just because God had blessed me with food, clothes, and “wealth,” this was not cause to feel guilty but a call to responsibility. I had to look into the eyes of orphan children and instead of wanting to cry or shout that it is not fair, I had to hug them and love them and pray for their hearts as they grow in this country.

So without the newness of the culture or a lot of heavy processing, I felt a little more prepared this time for what was in store. In light of this, when David asked us to pray about what it was God was trying to show us on this trip, I felt a little bit at a loss until I realized all that God had done for me on this journey and what He was saying to me.

In the first place, when I told Sheila I wanted to make it work to come back to Africa on this particular trip, I was a bit hesitant because I knew I had to come out a few days later than the team and I was hoping for a travel buddy or two. She had just been to Arizona visiting, and had been hiking with my cousin, Stefanie, who mentioned her daughter might be interested in going.

Sheila passed this along to me. However, she said, “Your cousin is interested in going,” so I automatically assumed she meant my older cousin. I said something to her (Whitney), and then realized she meant her own daughter (Kailey) who is so interested in missions and travel. As it turned out, both of them were elated and excited for the chance to visit Africa! And they would be my travel companions.

I mentioned the trip to Heather, who was on my team last year, and she was excited to be able to work out coming along with us. She has been an awesome addition to our trip and really clicked and connected with my cousins.

I knew that this was such an amazing opportunity for my cousins, and I was so excited to share this experience with them. It’s awesome to see how God works it all out.

The other insight God laid on my heart was what I shared with the team—the fact that our VBS topic—being a TRUTH seeker—is rock solid, and as believers who BELIEVE it, why are we not more adamant in sharing it? A convicting truth to me lately is that if I believe everything I say I do, why am I not more concerned about all of the souls I know who aren’t going to Heaven?

We do not save; we do not having saving powers. Jesus saves, but we can be instruments. We can be lights. We can shine Jesus. And in a dark world, a little light makes a big difference.

Another area is trust and faith. In America, it’s easy to become self-sufficient to the point where we don’t “need” God. I have breakfast every morning, a car to drive to work, a job, and a life of security. Where does God fit into that? At what point do I rely fully on Him to meet my basic needs? Most days, I don’t… to my shame. I envy those in the far corners of the Earth who do not have food or water every day, because their Faith must always be strong.

Yet, that is no excuse. We are called to decrease so God can increase. I am called to diminish my SELF so God can be exalted and His glory may be revealed.

After share-time, we all walked back to our chalets for bed. Upon entrance, Heather just about had a heart attack when she spotted a huge spider on our wall. She promptly ran away to recruit some boys to help her take care of it. A team of 4 came to our rescue and exterminated the creature.

A few minutes later when I came back into the bedroom ready for bed, Heather had pushed our beds together.

“We’re sleeping close tonight,” she told me.

And we did.

Thursday in Africa

2011-08-15T20:57:00.002-05:00

This is the day we overslept. Heather had tried to set an alarm on her ipod, but it died in the middle of the night so we woke up when the other girls were banging on our door to leave.

We quickly got ready and walked to school. I was actually thankful for the opportunity to walk. It was one of my favorite parts of last year’s trip. It’s such an amazing chance to experience African culture in its reality… you see women walking down the dirt road balancing baskets on their head… children in uniform marching off to school… men riding bikes or wheeling the crippled.

The boys did an amazing job finishing up the pillars in the morning, and the other guys and girls finished up other small work projects in the morning.

Once we got to the school, Heather and I organized the sweatshirts we brought to hand out to the kids. Last year, we handed out t-shirts on the last day and all the kids loved them. This year, we went with bright yellow hoodies since it is cooler weather this time of year.

When this was done, I ended up wandering over to the playground and sat down on a swing with a little boy. We swung awhile together, and I found out his name was Lysart. At this point, 10 kids were pointing at my camera asking to “copy” me, so I let them have it. They had demonstrated to me by now that they could successfully use it, so I wasn’t too worried.

Lysart and I swung for a long time and sang songs. We spelled his name and mine, and we talked. I loved it. One of the more bossy girls there stood in front of me and kept drawing me pictures on this board with a rock—it was so funny. She drew a picture of me, and would erase it and then draw another picture and everyone would laugh. I recited a poem to them about snow, but I don’t think they understood since they’ve never seen snow in their life.

About this time, Heather came to find me and her and I, along with Whitney and Kailey, went inside to make tuna melts for lunch. After lunch, it was our day to do the VBS lesson. Our topic was “How to be a Jesus Truth Seeker” and so Whitney read our lesson, and then narrated our skit. We recruited a few others to help us with our “Good Samaritan” story. Our craft was to decorate some colorful foam visors with paint and markers and stickers that said “Jesus Truth Seeker” on them. The kids loved them!

After the craft, I went around and took group pictures, then the kids played a game on the field. Also on this day, we saw William, which was really exciting because after learning about his crippled feet on last year’s trip, we were anxious to see his feet now whole! He walks and runs, smiles and laughs, plays with other kids and chases girls. It is so exciting to see him have a love of life now, whereas before he would sit in a corner by himself and not smile. God is so good, and it was so neat to see how He helped us help him.

When I was out on the playground, a girl came up to me and said, “Hi, do you remember me?”

I asked her what her name was, and she said, “Karen.”

“Karen!” I shouted, and hugged her immediately. I didn’t even recognize her! I love Karen, and bonded with her last year. This year she has grown about a foot, and her hair was froed, which made her look even taller. But it was definitely Karen! I had sent her some pictures, so she was excited about those, and we talked and hung out for awhile.

We handed out the hoodies to the kids and they LOVED them! It is so exciting to see how their faces light up. They immediately put them on, and just as I hoped, the bright yellow looked AWESOME on them!

After the kids left, Andrew (the art teacher) showed Heather and I his paintings and drawings. I purchased a fabric with an African woman and her baby painted on it, and he used actual fabric to sew on her clothes. It is so neat and I can’t wait to frame it as a piece of art. Heather chose some of his cards, which she loves, and a painting with a beautiful African tree.

It was good to see Andrew again. I had taken one of his art classes last year when I was here and talked to him quite a bit, and I must have mailed him pictures after last year’s trip because he couldn’t stop talking about it! He wanted to take a lot of pictures with Heather and I, using his film camera. It was so great!

That evening, the staff and cooks at Lifesong prepared us a traditional Zambian meal. I knew what I was in for based off of last year. Fortunately, fried chicken and potatoes are on the menu, but aside from that, you have your selection of nshima (their staple food), soup, termites, caterpillars, and many other unfamiliar foods! However, most were brave and tried a little of everything.

I sat at a table with most of the staff and the cook, Elijah. Every time I would stop eating for just a second, they would look at me and say, “Eat!” In their culture, it is considered rude not to try everything and not to finish. Unfortunately, my eyes are always bigger than my stomach, and they gave us a LOT of food to choose from!

I talked to Elijah for awhile, and he asked me why I came back to Africa. I’m actually really glad he did. It made me think what it is that drew me back. Afterwards, we all had a chance to get up and share something. The staff, the teachers, and the Americans.

There were quite a few of the older boys with us from the school, so it was neat to hear what they had to say, too. It was the most touching to me to hear them speak. One of them actually brought tears to my eyes. He thanked us for coming and told us we would never know how big of a difference we made. It seems so small to me, but it is so big to them. I can’t shake the feeling that every time I think I am going to come “help them,” they end up showing me more than I could ever show them.

After share time, everyone went inside LS School for singing & devotions. Caleb had an excellent talk on worship, and how true worship is when we seek to image God. I loved this thought, because worship is something that can tend to be put into a box. It has to look a certain way, feel a certain way, or be a certain way. However, worship is such a personal thing to each individual, but in and through that, it can only truly take place when we seek to imitate Christ and who we are in Him.

Wednesday in Africa

2011-08-13T10:13:00.002-05:00

The first morning in Africa, we were up and ready early to leave for school. About 10-12 of us packed into the little Noah to head to Lifesong. It was always a tight ride, but very cozy. :)

The kids at Lifesong start out every morning in rows of their grades and sing. This is one of my favorite parts. Lucy, the principal of the school, dances around and sings with all of her heart. It is very refreshing to watch—there is no holding back. All of the kids sing and clap and dance… the sound is amazing, and I can’t help but think that someday, that is what Heaven will be like.

On this particular day, the Lifesong kids were going next door to the neighboring school to compete in a sports day. We were there all morning with them, cheering them all as they ran races, played football (soccer), and netball (similar to basketball).

A lot of the American team members had bought soccer jerseys so they wore them on this day. It was fun to be a part of this special event. Whenever the LS kids would score a goal in soccer, all the kids would cheer and literally flood the field in celebration.

We ate lunch, and then it was time for VBS. Joe, Justin, and Sheila were in charge and did a great job with their skit and lesson. The craft was a Jesus bracelet with beads that tells the story of salvation.

This year, we worked on a work project in the afternoons or during free time. David had us do some painting on the new building, which houses an awesome computer lab and some other classrooms. He also had the boys construct some pillars for the new building to make it aesthetically pleasing to the eye. His goal is to present nice structure and aesthetics as much as possible to the kids. Since they are so used to seeing poor constructions and “good building” is not something they see as much as we do in America, he thought it would be a nice touch.

To complete the project, the boys measured and cut the wood, and some of us girls sanded it down and painted a special paint on it. Other girls worked on chiseling out concrete blocks for the base. It was quite the job! Right at first, all of us were working on it and tools were limited, so we used anything from axes to hammers.

Some of us girls worked on dinner that night—it was a bean-vegetable-hamburger concoction with noodles and garlic bread. We enjoyed that and then Justin had the devotions on the Fruits of the Spirit. He started out by praying the Lord’s prayer; it was neat to hear it prayed out in a serious fashion rather than just skimmed over or read.

We hung out for awhile, and then most of the team traveled back to Plot 1 for the evening. This was the night that my Whitney, Kailey, Heather and I would move over to the bigger guest house to make more room for everyone. As we did, some of the girls came over to help us with our luggage. They were looking around the house and checking it out since it is so nice, and suddenly we hear a scream from one of the bedrooms. We rushed in and saw Kaylin pointing at the wall. There was a lizard and she was completely terrified.

KaraLea, ever the brave soul, waltzed over and grabbed it, sticking it in Kaylin’s face. Kaylin was not a fan and grabbed Heather and started to run out of the bedroom, and as she did so KaraLea came in for another tease… Kaylin freaked out, tripped, and took Heather down onto the floor. It was very amusing. Let’s just say there was a lot of screaming and laughing, so much so that the couple that lives on the property came over to check on us.

The boys ended up coming over to hang out for awhile, and we watched some of the first team’s bungee jumping videos. They were pretty entertaining!

Africa Journey: Background & Traveling

2011-08-11T07:11:00.002-05:00

As I did last year, I will ty to post my story of Africa into sections. This first one is quite large because it includes a little bit of background, plus all our travel days and time in London.

Enjoy!

Background

This is the story of my second journey to Africa.

The first one took place in January 2010. I was absolutely elated to have the opportunity to visit this continent and particularly the country of Zambia. In revisiting some of my older blog posts about that trip, it is interesting to read about my first-time impressions of Africa.

During that trip, our team of 12 was led by a missionary lady named Dru as well as the principal of the school at that time, John Mumba.

We had the experience of attending church, going to the market, putting on a VBS program for the kids at Lifesong School during the mornings of that week, helping them in the classroom, visiting the compound, and seeing animals at a game camp.

It was amazing, and I knew in my heart that one day, I would like to return.

That became a reality when I heard about another team that was traveling to Africa this year. There was a team of 8 who came down for a total of 2 weeks, and did some exciting things the first week (like bungee jumping!) A second team of 3 arrived that next weekend, so there were about a dozen team members to help start that next week of VBS off well at Lifesong School.

My team of 4 arrived on Tuesday, so we were there to help with VBS for the rest of the week. Traveling with me included my friend, Heather, and my 2 cousins from Arizona, Whitney & Kailey. The other two teams would be leaving on Saturday, but our stay was a bit extended (thankfully!) so we were able to experience a quieter life in Africa during the last few days.

My good friend, David, and another friend from Indiana, Luke, live together on the school grounds and help to run Lifesong School Zambia. David helps run the school and aids with the business and the accounting end. Luke runs a strawberry farm and handles the business end of it.

The VBS topic this time was “How to be a Truth Seeker.” After having spent a year down here, David has found that telling the truth and not stealing is a huge deal for the kids, so this was the perfect topic to discuss.

The climate was so different this time. The last time I was here, it was rainy season, so everything was lush and green. In fact, I remember thinking that right at first, it didn’t seem too much different than Illinois. It was a bit humid, and rain would roll in and downpour, and then clear off and be sunny in the afternoon. There were a lot of trees, grass, and greenery all around.

This time, it was more of an “African” feel. Since it was dry season, the fields matched the color of the dirt road with more of an Autumn-time look. Leaves were falling off trees, bushes were dead, and the weather was 70s and sunny during the day (beautiful!) but cooler in the mornings and evenings. The air smelled like Fall.

Sunday-Tuesday: Traveling & London / First Day in Zambia

Our journey begins on Sunday afternoon. My dad was kind enough to drive Heather and I to O’Hare Airport in Chicago. We all 3 crammed in the front of his truck cab, since the Tahoe was unavailable.

We made good time and made it to the airport without a problem. Checking in went smoothly until one of my bags was 4.5 lbs. overweight. We opened it up and checked the weight of my Bible—it was 4.5 lbs.! After doing some rearranging to make it work, we passed through security and headed to our gate.

We grabbed Starbucks and some snacks and waited for my two cousins flying in from AZ to meet us there. We boarded our 8-hour flight to London.

The flight was pretty uneventful. We all tried to sleep, but it was hard since it was technically still pretty early for us. I don’t think any of us got too much sleep.

We arrived in London early Monday morning at 8am. It was 2am our time, so we were pretty tired! However, we had a fun day planned for our 12-hour layover, so we carried on.

Our first order of business was to find the underground train system and purchase one-day tickets for Piccadilly Line.

After doing so, we took the bus into London and our first stop was Buckingham Palace. On our walk to get there, there was a park nearby with all kinds of unique park deck chairs sitting around the grassy area. I loved it!

As we neared Buckingham Palace, there were swarms of people. Come to find out, they were having a Change Guard Parade on this very day at the very time we arrived! It was exciting to be in the heat of one of the downtown London events, but we had to keep moving so we could see everything on our list.

Next, we walked some more and stopped at a pub for lunch. It was a real cute little place and our waitress was so sweet. I loved her British accent and unassuming manner.

We continued on to Westminster Abbey—it was absolutely beautiful! There was a gate surrounding it, and you could walk right up to it. It was probably my favorite place of the day… it was just so cool to see in person.

At this point, we were running out of time so we made an executive decision to run by Harrod’s on our way back to the airport. There was a Starbucks across the street, so we grabbed drinks, only to find out we couldn’t bring drinks OR luggage into this huge department store. I had to check my luggage piece in next door, and we quickly drank our Starbucks drinks and headed inside. Whitney could bring in her backpack as long as she wore it on the front instead of her back. It was a funny sight!

We whizzed through the women’s shoe department for fun ☺ and checked out the food court. It had all kinds of delicious cupcakes, baked good, pastries, rolls, and desserts. They all looked amazing and I would have purchased one, but we needed to keep moving so we could get back to the airport.

Riding on the train was fun. We spent most of our day on Piccadilly Line, which took us where we needed to go. There were always multiple stops where people got on and off. The automated voice would always come over the intercom in a British accent and say, “Mind the gap between the train and the platform,” whenever people would enter or exit.

The day was mid-70s and sunny, and kind of hot as we were rushing from place to place through lots of crowds. Since none of us had much sleep in us and had to stay fairly alert and energetic, it was an exhausting day, but fun nonetheless, and I’m so glad we were able to experience London during our layover!

We made it back to Heathrow Airport in London and had to check in Kailey and Whitney and then continue on through security. We had a slight headache with our tickets, which would not go through at security, so we kept getting them “confirmed” at the ticket counter and finally they worked. After going through the whole security process, we
found each other and sat in the seating area by all the shops and restaurants. At Heathrow, they don’t give you a gate number until 1 hour before your flight. You sit and wait in the main area. However, once you do know, it behooves you to get moving because in our case, it took us a very long time to actually get to our gate! Up several escalators, through long hallways, around corners… we finally ended up in a big area on a top floor surrounded by glass windows that stretched from floor to ceiling.

We were among the last to board the plane, and ran into a slight difficulty with Whitney & Kailey’s luggage. After clearing it up and finding out we would need to check on it in Johannesburg, we boarded our next huge plane for a 10-hour flight.

The goal was to sleep on this plane. As I have tried in the past on international flights, if at all possible, I like to sleep on the floor. I did it again this time, and I think I may have grabbed a couple hours of sleep. Otherwise, it’s more of a blurry drifting in and out of consciousness.

As it was nearing time to land the plane, I started to feel sick to my stomach. I was going on night 2 of very little sleep, and we had just eaten breakfast but I still felt hungry afterwards. Now the nausea was kicking in, and I started to panic.

The plane started to descend and we were advised to take our seats and buckle up. Right before the plane landed, I panicked and ran into the bathroom. The flight attendant saw me and banged on the door, not too happy with me that I did that. She told me that I needed to return to my seat immediately. I obliged, but was feeling so sick at this point, I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it. My throat and heart were both burning. I just put my head down and endured the descent, making Heather switch me seats at the last minute so I could run back ASAP upon landing. I did so, and fortunately never got sick. However, I felt pretty nauseous for the next 45 minutes, even after deplaning, walking through Johannesburg Airport to figure out the luggage situation, through Passport Control, and security. I finally started to feel better after awhile and ate a granola bar before boarding our next fight.

That flight took place on a smaller plane that would take us from Johannesburg, South Africa to Ndola, Zambia. It was about a 2.5-hour flight, so not too bad. We were bused to the plane and upon arrival, to the airport.

Ndola’s airport is pretty primitive. However, I remember from last time that you have to fill out a form with information on how long you are staying and what you are doing. There is also a $50 entry fee for entering the country. We went through this slow process, claimed our luggage that was piled on the floor by the front entrance, and were on our way. The security at the door checks through your luggage upon leaving. As that was happening, an African man walked up with a sign that read, “Taryn & Heather.”

“That’s us!” we told him. He advised us that the person coming to “fetch” us was running late, so to follow him. As we did so, David pulled up in the little Noah vehicle and shouted to us. He might have been running late, but as usual we were the last ones to complete the process in the airport so it ended up being perfect timing!

He drove us back to Kitwe, which took about an hour. He dropped us off at the New Life Center where we were staying so we could shower and relax. We ended up taking a short nap until a few of the girls from the team arrived to shower and get cleaned up. We headed back with them and some of the guys for Lifesong School, which is where we ate dinner as a team.

The boys cooked us a wonderful dinner, and even had a candlelit setting inside the school. It was the perfect touch to a tiring 48 hours of traveling! After plane food, the stir fry, peaches, and cookies tasted delicious.

Every evening following dinner, we had a nice time of worship with guitar music played by Luke, and then one of the guys would prepare a devotion. I loved this part of the evening. The first night we were there, Drew talked, and he read from the New Testament and showed us how it connected back to the Old Testament. We read about the curse of man, and how we are born with sin and automatically under the curse of it by default, and only by Jesus’ blood and God’s good holiness can we escape it.

It made me think of Africa and how it seems to be under a curse of sin—there are always consequences of sin, whether they are seen right away or come to fruition later. Sin is pleasurable for a season, but wreaks havoc in the end. The good news is that regardless of the size of the problem, Jesus saves.

The other night, I read the parable of the men who were hired by a master to work in the field. One was hired at the beginning of the day, one during the middle and one at the end. They all worked in the field for different amounts of time, but the master still paid them the same. Jesus likened the Kingdom of Heaven to it. It seems unfair, really—why should the worker hired at the end be paid the same? It’s a legit question, but a very human one, nonetheless. It’s very self-focused. Jesus saves all—whether you have sinned a lot or a little… whether you come very early in life or not until the very end.

That’s the beauty of Jesus. My prayer is that this saving Light and Love from above can continue to glow at Lifesong School.

That evening, after devotions, David took us girls back to our little house. We were all very tired, and it felt wonderful to sleep horizontal!

Back to Africa

2011-07-24T23:10:00.005-05:00

In exactly one week at this time, I will be flying through the air in a plane with a destination of Africa.

I am returning to Zambia.

"When you go to Africa, you leave part of your heart there." Those words were spoken to me before my first trip. I held onto them with a "we'll-see" attitude, not being able to fully believe the truth of them because I had not yet experienced Africa.

I have now, and I am here to tell you-- those words are true.

As my trip nears, I am anticipating it with memories of last time...

One of my favorite experiences of the everyday culture was the mile-long walk on the dirt road to the school. The very first morning, we ventured out into the cool, foggy morning. Trucks whizzed by us with Africans sitting in the back. A myriad of men walked down the road to work, and women carried bags or babies on their back. Bikers with baskets, kids in school uniforms, all of us walking together. It was during these moments that it seemed most real to me that I was, indeed, in Africa.

As we neared the school, kids in mis-matched, torn clothes ran up and asked us where we were going.

"Lifesong School," we said.

"Us too!"

Word spread, and bright-faced, smiling kids ran up and grabbed our hands. They held on and walked beside us with innocence and trust.

It was then that I learned love-- Jesus' love. I felt it welling up inside my heart and bursting forth, pouring out of me to shower on the kids.

I learned this lesson of love again and again throughout that week. In church, when the African people in their lively, spirited voices sang and danced praises to Jesus with hands lifted high. Underneath the mosquito net hanging over my bed at night, when I drifted off to sleep thinking about the widespread disease and sickness that sweeps over these people with little healthcare, and thanking God for His hand of provision in my own life. When I met other African people, and they welcomed me wholeheartedly and told me to visit often. When I held 3 children on my lap, and they were content to sit and be embraced. When I served them the only meal they had seen in 3 days-- a piece of bread with a smear of peanut butter.

Giving feels good, but I came home feeling like Africa gave me more than I was ever able to give back.

I am excited to hear the voices of the kids, and most of all, to see their faces. Their eyes say more to me than anything else. I am delighted to love them, and my heart swells to think that they are even more delighted to love me back.

If I don't bring one back with me this time... it will be a miracle.

Love you all... this next week looks like a pretty busy outlook for me, so I will be back after my trip with lots of stories and pictures!

T

Dreaming

2011-07-10T23:37:00.003-05:00

I have this recurring dream where I am driving in my car. I look in the rearview mirror, and a white car is following me. In my head, I think, "Oh no, I wonder if that's a cop. I'm speeding." And it always is. And the cop always pulls me over.

Today I was telling my sister about this-- that I needed to consult a Dream Dictionary to decipher the meaning.

"Are those actually accurate," she asked.

The meaning:

"To dream that you are pulled over by the police, suggests that you need to slow down and take things down a notch."

Somehow, I feel like it could be pretty accurate.

In other news, we celebrated my Grandma's 90th birthday today. She is my only living grandparent, so it's quite special to see her reach such a milestone. A couple of my favorite memories of her...

She always calls her refrigerator "the ice box." I always thought that was funny.

Anytime I visited her, particularly after school, she would ALWAYS have chocolate pudding cups for a snack. Yum!

When I was 4 years old, I had to wear an eye patch on my eye. It was no fun, and I didn't like to do it. I would usually cry, and when my mom would take the patch away from my eye, all the tears would spill out. My Grandma told me that "if I was good, I would get a prize." The prize was always a box of Frosted Mini Wheats... my favorite cereal.

---

So we had a great time today with her. All of her kids, almost all of her grandkids and all of her great-grandkids were there. It was a full house!

I leave for Africa in about 3 weeks. I can't believe how fast that came up. I am super excited. Part of me hesitates to envision what it will be like "this time" because disappointment inevitably follows when I think I know how something will unfold and it doesn't; whereas the unknown is always exciting to me because it is new and different. So I'm trying not to put preconceived notions on this trip-- and to help, my travel buddies and I fly through London on the way there so we get a whole day to explore!

Beyond that, I am just real excited to see the kids again and capture the culture through photography.

Kristi and I counted today, and to date we have shot 6 weddings. We have 12 more to go this year. We are only 1/3 of the way there. I can hardly believe it, but I knew our Fall was packed. Our summer has actually been a nice break, and while I've been enjoying it, I'm bracing myself for a busy wedding season ahead. We always get through it, but not without a lot of work! But it's hard to view something as "work" when you enjoy it so much.

Well... I'm off to bed so I can start my Monday off right. Love you all!

A Day in My Life

2011-06-23T22:31:00.003-05:00

On today's docket:

7:30-8: press snooze on my alarm clock

8: wake up

9: arrive at work

9-11: edit pictures

11: run into a friend on the road and chat

11:20: dentist appointment in pekin

12: starbucks run

12:30: meet with interior designer about our studio

2:00: lunch... no time and nothing in the house so grabbed JJ

2:30-3:30: another trip to Pekin for Hobby Lobby and Mendard's

3:30: spotted a cool field with beautiful flowers and a lake on the way home. Stopped and asked permission from the home and land owners to take pictures there.

4-5: edit pictures

5:45-7: volunteer dinner at fellowship hall for 3rd shift job

7:30-8:30: to the studio, simultaneously edited pictures while helping Kristi call 15-20 Home Goods stores across the country in search of a specific chair

9-9:30: worked out at Gold's

9:30-9:50: showered and made a banana-berry smoothie

10: 3rd shift job

10-10:30: played on 12 Word with Friends games.

Over

2011-06-07T20:56:00.005-05:00

Overcommitted.

That's what I am.

Too many "yeses" and not enough "nos." Too many projects and not enough time. Too much work to do and not enough brain power.

Two of my friends have said, "Taryn, I've missed you at the gym!"

I know. I don't have time for physical exercise. So instead, I do things like stand on my tippy toes if I am standing up for a long period of time, or do jumping jacks after I get out of the shower, or do push-ups before bed. If I don't become inventive and work exercise into my daily routine, it won't happen at all. I am hoping that running around all day and shooting wedding photography counts as exercise, too. Well, it better count for something, because I usually lay in bed on those nights and ache until I fall asleep.

I don't even really have time to eat, but I do fit that in somehow :) And I allowed myself to sleep in this morning... which was glorious... but I find that when I do that, even thought it feels wonderful, I always regret that I don't have that time back.

Anyway, I need to sign off from here and keep plugging away on my current project, but being the perfecter of procrastination, I decided to update my blog. Why not? A definite worthwhile use of my time!

Love you all, and until next time...

Hurry!

2011-05-31T22:21:00.003-05:00

I wish I was better about stopping to smell the roses.

Most of my life is spent rushing around. It's the way I like it. I didn't notice that most people do not set such a pace until one evening a few years ago. My mom had company over and we were both working in the kitchen to prepare dessert when I noticed we were running around...literally. It was if an egg timer was quickly ticking away and if we didn't deliver dessert before it sounded, the kitchen would explode.

I remember making a comment at the time, and both my mom and I shared a laugh, yet we continued on in our busy way.

So some of it is learned. Yet I am convinced that a lot of it is just how I am wired.

I can remember walking the walls oh High School, and my fellow classmates would ask me in passing, "Where is the fire?"

I also walk fast...very fast...by nature. It pains me to be stuck in a slow-moving crowd, and I would rather walk backwards or carry very heavy objects to slow myself down rather than just slow my pace. One of Kristi's biggest pet peeves us when I walk ahead of her, but my natural pace carries me along and before I know it, I'm several feet ahead of her. I have to concentrate and try really hard to walk slow.

All this to say, I have a hard time relaxing, and it's not a wonder why. I like to keep things moving, and even while I am doing one thing, my mind is already anticipating the next step. I get bored very quickly, so switch between projects often. Even my alone time is planned. I am not regimented by nature, but I like to anticipate, so if I can plan on grabbing a coffee later in the afternoon, or taking time for a bubble bath to start a new book, or take a bike ride in the evening (all loner yet enjoyable and somewhat relaxing actitivties), I am as happy as a puppy. But if my schedule is thrown off by something not quite as exciting, I become irritated. If it is something better, I welcome the spontaneous interruption.

So tonight was very unscheduled in my world. Usually I decipher open nights in terms of what, on my agenda, will or will not get done. This doesn't mean I may not get side-tracked or completely change my mind, but like I said, I like to anticipate. And truly, there is always a sense of urgency with each planned activity.

My mom and I grabbed dinner in EP, then I drug her into PetSmart to buy personalized name tags for my cats. When we got home, the evening had cooled to a nice sunny breeze, so I sat outside and assembled my cats' new collars.

As I did so, I couldn't help but realize that time was not a stresser for me tonight... and that is rare. My family used to call me a motor mouth because when younger, I would talk really really fast, trying my hardest to saying everything I wanted to say before someone interrupted or stopped listening. That's how I often feel about time. Like it's going to run out before I can get it all done, hence the sense of urgency.

Anyway, I noted how enjoyable it was to sit outside and enjoy the evening, not letting a to-do list or extraneous responsibilities kill the moment. I thought of how it is all just a mind game. Because when I am on vacation or in a place where I know that time is all I have, I find I can enjoy easier. But everyday life doesn't allow such luxury. It beckons with a schedule, a list of projects, and endless distractions.

My lesson learned for tonight is to take time to smell the roses... and not literally of course, because that would put a cramp in my walking style. Yet even if a brisk walk is exactly what I need, I should learn to fit it in without such a stressful anticipation of the next step in life. I love the feeling of getting lost in relaxation... not to the expense of throwing responsibility to the wind, but to the benefit of pure enjoyment of the moment at hand.

Love you all!

Learning to Accept

2011-05-26T21:35:00.001-05:00

**The following are some thoughts I have regarding a current situation in my life. Without getting into the “what,” I wanted to share the “how God is working” part.**

The crying always catches me off guard.

Maybe it’s because deep down, I don’t feel like it is something that I should cry about. So when the tears do come, they stream down my face abashedly uninvited.

Yet it makes me sad, and the recipe for tears is sadness.

There are so many other worst-case scenarios. No one is dying. No one is moving away. No one is choosing an alternative lifestyle.

It’s just that a decision is being made—one that unintentionally but ultimately causes hurt. I can put it into perspective. I can exercise my use of rationale. I can believe from the bottom of my heart that this is truly what they feel God wants them to do. But all those things don’t take away the hurt and the sadness. It just doesn’t.

Through it all, it has shown me that God works in ways that are personal to each individual, and the way He works for one person is not necessarily the way He works for another. I can’t always understand why Person A can drop their life and move away to a foreign country to do missions. I can’t always understand why Person B chooses to stay in his boring job and use that as a mission field. I can’t always understand why Person C feels comfortable where she is, and why Person D moves on to another place. The point is, I am not Person A, B, C, or D. I’m Taryn. Jesus speaks to me personally through our relationship together, and no one else is in on that. My job is to follow Him as He leads me.

The way He leads me may never make sense to another, and it may be a beautiful thing to someone else. The point is, I can’t spend my whole life doubting others and their choices or claiming it is faulty because I don’t understand. Sometimes, my job is not to understand, because it’s not my decision to understand. At the end of the day, we all make decisions for better or for worse, and it is up to each of us as an individual in our own personal relationships to Christ as we make those decisions. Some people have an amazing source of wisdom in family and friends, and some people do not, but one thing we all have is the source of Truth—the Word—and God as our guide.

I can write and know all this in my heart. But I still miss them, and I always will.

God works in mysterious ways, and in the end, Truth & Love WILL reign. May we all show Love in the best way we know how while we live on Earth.

**As I have progressed on this journey, I have found certain treasures to be helpful to me along the way. One was found in one of my favorite devotional books called “Jesus Calling.” I will share its words:

“When things don’t go as you would like, accept the situation immediately. If you indulge in feelings of regret, they can easily spill over the line into resentment. Remember that I am sovereign over your circumstances, and humble yourself under My mighty hand. Rejoice in what I am doing in your life, even though it is beyond your understanding.

I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. In Me you have everything you need, both for this life and for the life yet to come. Don’t let the impact of the world shatter your thinking or draw you away from focusing on Me. The ultimate challenge is to keep fixing your eyes on Me, no matter what is going on around you. When I am central in your thinking, you are able to view circumstances from My perspective.”

I have found that keeping Christ at the center of my thinking drastically changes my attitude and perspective. God is teaching me over and over that the only way to attain true peace and joy in my own life is to take my “self” out of the way. Self wants what self wants, and self gets easily confused and swayed by emotion and circumstance. But God guides, and when I let him take control, all else falls into place.

One promise I love about our God is that He has the “grand scheme plan” figured out… and with that, our best interest at heart. The situations we find ourselves in can’t and won’t always make sense. After all, we serve a God so much bigger than ourselves… who are we to think we can understand Him and His ways? It’s a foolish thought. So with that in my mind, I look ahead to the future where I know God has so many wonderful things in store, all orchestrated by events, actions, and circumstances that surround me now.

May God be glorified in and through it all!

Love you all,

How it All Began

2011-05-17T20:02:00.002-05:00

Tonight I was reflecting. Kristi and I were driving home from an engagement shoot, and right before we got into the car, she announced, "Tonight during the shoot I made a decision to change 2 things in our business."

She was half-sarcastic, half-no-nonsense. I knew she wouldn't make an executive decision without my input, but at the same time, I usually agree with her decisions. That's why we work so well together. :)

Anyway, her dramatic pronouncement caused me to think about our business and how much it has changed over the past several years.

It all began one evening about 6 years ago. We were sitting at a restaurant, what was then called Brick Oven, and we were eating dinner together. At that point in our lives, we were both in college and having fun attaining our degrees. Work was part-time and secondhand in our lives, and neither of us knew what our futures would hold.

Over the past few months before that point, my mom, with her entrepreneurial spirit, had been planting the seed in my mind... "Taryn, why don't you start a graphic design business? You could do it on the side, and design all sorts of things for people..."

I remember looking at Kristi from across the table and telling her, "So I think I'm going to start a business."

"What kind of business?" Kristi asked.

"A graphic design business," I told her. "You know... design Christmas cards, invitations, logos... stuff like that."

Kristi's face turned serious and she leaned across the table. "Taryn," she told me, "You can't start this business without me." She said it as if to do so would put an end to the world... as if, since I had not originally included her in the business plan, I must be crazy.

I smiled. Always a fan of teamwork and having a sidekick to turn to, I told her, "We can do it together."

And so began the our journey of starting our business together, which was then geared towards graphic design.

One Saturday, we sat in her basement with a pad of paper and pen in hand, trying our best to agree upon a business name.

After about 30 minutes of throwing out ideas, I started to get silly.

"Purple Rainbow," I said. "Poptart Design. Because there are 2 poptarts in every package... and there are two of us."

After compiling a list of several creative words, we finally came up with our first business name: Two Peas in a Palette.

Within days of sending out our very first advertising mailer, the response was wonderful. Among other small projects, we were honored to take part in helping Apostolic Christian Restmor come up with a new logo design for their Frank Lloyd Wright-esque building that was being built at the time.

The next year or so brought about a very lucrative "Christmas" season for us in which we designed a lot of Christmas cards. Other small projects gave us a great side-business during our college careers.

After college, we both went our separate ways for a year, growing professionally in other careers while sustaining the small side-business. Sprinkled into the graphic design projects was the occasional family photo or senior. During the Fall of that first year out of college, we shot our very first wedding. Kristi's cousin was getting married, so she agreed to let us take her wedding pictures.

Around that same time, business began to pick up, and we were faced with a decision. My mom, ever the catalyst, pumped enough courage into me to quit my current full-time job (which was a steady paycheck but not creatively challenging or a promising future career) and take the dive into our business full-time.

I worked that Fall and Winter full-time with our business out of the basement of my parents' home, while Kristi kept her full-time job and would join me after work or on weekends to keep everything rolling.

That Spring, we shot 2-3 more weddings and as our year started to book up with more weddings and photo sessions, Kristi also made the decision to quit her job full-time and join in the fun.

From there, we made a lot of important changes. We rebranded ourself, changing our business name to Imagine Artists and launched a brand new website. We also decided to focus more on photography and grow in that field professionally.

After our first year in business out of the basement, we had an amazing opportunity that following Fall to rent out a space in downtown Morton. We established our very own storefront and housed some of my mom's cute trinkets and treasures in the front to draw people in for both of our benefit.

Shortly thereafter, Lulu's came to town and my mom moved out and across the street, giving us the opportunity to make full use of our space and continue to grow. We were in our bright yellow office for a year before the building on the corner of Main St. and Jefferson St. caught our eye.

I can remember peeking in the windows with Kristi. When we had been in the basement, we had dreamed of a storefront, but now that we had a space, we dreamed of more room + the ability to have a studio.

"It would be PERFECT," we said, stalking the interior of the place from behind the glass window as cars drove by behind us. "We need to check it out."

We called the phone number on the sign and got a tour pronto. And we were right... it WAS perfect. It was split up exactly as we needed it to be, and it was also a beautiful building with tons of character in the best location possible.

We said yes.

Our photography business currently resides in this building, and our most recent change has been to focus entirely in photography as a studio. We are definitely still in love with natural lighting photography and exploring all of the wonderful options the great outdoors bring us... and even the window-side locations on rainy days. Additionally, we LOVE having our (small) studio in which we can shoot babies and children.

As photographers, we also both still share our passion of graphic design and use those talents as they apply to photography. We take a lot of time making our albums, coffee table books, collages, invitations, etc. to be as unique and custom-made as possible, making each a creation all its own. No two designs are ever the same, and we capitalize on being able to use the images we capture in our design work.

Getting to sit in downtown Morton on the busiest intersection and greet customers as they set foot in our OUR business... it brings me such joy. Sometimes, I know people look at us funny and think we are way too young to be business owners. In fact, just the other day, two older men walked in and had to clarify that we were, indeed, the right ones to speak with for decision-making :) but I look at that and count it yet another blessing among many others.

All along the way, God has had His hand in this in such an evident way that we would be blind not to see His working. First of all, anything we have ever needed has been supplied in a heartbeat. I just read in one of my devotionals about how "delay is not denial," and while that was comforting to me in others areas of my life, where business is concerned, God has not delayed a thing! His awesome provision has been amazing on this journey.

Furthermore, he has taught us both such big life lessons in just 3-4 short years. Over time, Kristi and I have learned how to be best friends AND business partners. I would be dishonest to say that it isn't a challenge. Just like anything else in life worth working hard for and trusting in God with... it has its ups and down, its peaks and valleys, and its pluses and minuses. But I can truly say that in it and through it all, God has taught us one of the biggest lessons we will learn in life, and that is how to love unconditionally and in spite of someone else's mistakes. We wouldn't be where we are today without God's Love in both of our hearts, and our willingness to give and take.

I can assure you that there are few people as different as Kristi and I. We are so different. Yet we always say... it is the differences that meet in the middle and make us a dynamic team of two. We have found a way to mesh her strengths and my strengths to grow our business, and to work out the weaknesses of us both and compensate with our different personalities.

God is good! When I went to Africa a year ago, the little orphans would chant that phrase every morning: God is good! It is true, and as long as I wake up every morning and say that... on the sunny days, and on the gray days... I can remember that is IN Him and THROUGH Him that IA is what it is.

Love you all!

Easter

2011-05-04T17:39:00.005-05:00

I figured out what my problem is. It's not that I wouldn't love to update you all fairly often. It's just that a) I have a terrible, terrible memory and b) due to my terrible memory in which, if I don't make a point to remember my life and every clever thing that occurs, I have nothing to write about.

Well, unless I'm in an inspirational mood... which doesn't just happen at a moment's notice.

I've decided that this is why God made me a photographer. Without pictures, I wouldn't be able to keep track of anything that happens.

So, I shall default to my usual cop-out: my life in pictures. Here is our Easter celebration w/the fam:

Tonya made these adorable cupcakes for the kids.
After several years of family get-togethers with multiple children, we got smart and figured out that it's best to have TWO desserts: one for the adults, one for the kids.

The adult dessert. :) Beautiful, and again, made by Tonya.

At age 25, YES, I am still getting an Easter basket. I'm not complaining!

The hectic kid's area-- dinner time.

The less-crazy adult table.

Easter egg hunt for the toddlers

Post-Easter egg hunt for the older kids

All the ladies

Reaching for an egg

More unveiling...

What are cousins for?

Beau- such a silly boy

Until next time...

Love you all!

T

Crazy Mode

2011-04-21T20:14:00.002-05:00

I have been MIA... and for that I apologize. Life is busy!

The first topic I will address is the weather. I had hoped that April would bring sunnier skies and warmer weather. Instead, it is bringing what the age-old adage tells us... "April showers." I can only pray that it will bring May flowers!

Secondly, I am beyond excited that Leaves 'n Beans will be going in just down the street from our studio. I love love loved the mocha ice cap drinks that I used to get at Sweet Treats 'n Coffee Too, but since their closure a couple of months ago, I hav been living off of more infrequent Starbucks and the occasional Eli's drink. Or, the instant coffee I make at home. All do the job, but I am thrilled to introduce a fun little downtown place that will offer salads, soups, sandwiches, desserts, and of course, coffee. :)

Third. I anticipate my life will only get busier from here on out, but I will try to update more often.

4. I am currently a bit attached to The Nanny, which is a 90's sitcom starring Fran Drescher. I am not sure why, but I find this show full of a lot of comic hilarity. As I have expressed in the past, I don't even really like TV all that much but in a moment of weakness about a week ago, I curled up on the couch late at night and watched "Nick @ Nite." A back-to-back episode of The Nanny was on, including the pilot show, so I was intrigued and started watching it from season 1.

Fifth. Easter is this weekend! I always love celebrating this holiday... and am looking forward to being with the family. The family units have been in and out of Florida over the past few weeks, so it's been awhile since the whole fam has been together.

Furthermore, my lovely friend Heather is home from CO this weekend. I am also looking forward to helping throw a baby shower for my cousin and her sweet little girl, Rosie. Also on the calendar is an order session, and engagement session, prison ministry on Sunday morning, and doing a part in the Easter saga for the Sunday School. Oh yes, I also have to make breakfast pizzas for Saturday and an egg casserole for Sunday.

If this stresses you out, don't worry. I was recently talking to Kristi... it was on a day when we were running from one thing to the other.

"I hate this," she told me. "I don't like feeling rushed. I feel very out of control. It's not good."

I am the opposite. i LOVE to rush from one thing to the other. I mean, maybe "love" is the wrong term. It's just that I feel at my best when I'm up and running... I start to procrastinate and waste time when I have too much of it on my hands :) I am the most productive while in crazy mode.

Well... off to the next thing. See-- point in case: I got around to writing a blog post on one of the BUSIEST nights I've had in awhile... it's just the way I roll.

Meanwhile, it's time for a snack soon! So I best run...

T

Craft Time

2011-04-03T16:25:00.006-05:00

I have never considered myself a crafty person. At all.
Creative-- yes. But crafty? Unfortunately, I did not get the "sewing" gene from my mom. Anything that is hands-on and tactile presents itself a challenge to me. I can visually "see" things and I can put colors & styles together, but when it comes to "making," I struggle.

More than once, I am wearing a funky shirt or toting around a crazy bag and people will stop me and say, "Nice purse-- did you make that?"

No a chance.

Like I said, I can pick it out. I just can't make it.

Anyway, all that to say... I recently came across something I CAN make! And if I can handle it, chances are that most of you can, too. :)

A few weeks ago, Kristi and I needed a way to make the tree branches in our IA windows look more "Spring-y." We looked online for some easy ways to make flowers. Long story short, we achieved our goal with minimal heartache.

This inspired both of us to continue on the flower-making for our own personal use. You spend $15-$20 on a flower pin for your shirt or hair at a store, so why not make your own for much cheaper? This is the other thing: I'm usually not one to think that way. I'm the girl who usually says, "I'd much rather buy what I like and be done with it rather than going to all the trouble to make anything."

However! After seeing that flower-making isn't too terribly hard, I did a little bit of research and found a flower I really like. You can make each petal out of a different fabric, which appealed to me as I like to mix & match and be colorful.

A week ago today, I found myself in JoAnn's Fabric (Hobby Lobby is closed on Sundays). I have been in there with my mom before, but I'll admit-- I was a little overwhelmed and lost. The goal was to purchase some fabric. I must have circled the store about 5 times before I finally found some fabric that appealed to me. I picked it up, but still felt confused. How much to get? And what if I didn't like it? What if I wanted more options??

After collecting a few more fabrics, I was about to give up. This wasn't panning out as I had hoped. It was then that I spotted them: fabric quarters. They were EXACTLY what I was looking for: several colors, styles, and patterns of fabric folded up onto a cardboard square. There were bountiful options, and the best part is that they were inexpensive, so rather than buying a half yard of only a few fabrics, I could purchase a bunch of fabrics for cheaper! After my discovery, I had a heyday picking out all my favorite colors and patterns.

SO, after coming home with my fabric and reading the instructions carefully, I picked up my needle & thread and made my very own flower. Not without pictures, of course.

In case you want visuals so that you can try this on your own, here it is...

Supplies
Needle & Thread

Fabric-- a variety of scraps

Scissors

Circular object

Fabric marker

Buttons, beads, gems, and embellishments

Hot glue gun

Hair clips/pins

{Step 1}

Choose 5 fabrics you want to use. (Or choose 2-3 if you want to keep every other petal the same).

{Step 2}

Using your circular object (I used a large lens cap), trace a circle on each piece of fabric and cut them out. *If your fabric isn't already flat, iron it to get out all the wrinkles.

{Step 3}

You should now have 5 circles of fabric. Choose one. Fold it in half, and then in half again.

{Step 4}

Thread your needle. With it, sew a gather stitch (stitch in and out, leaving a nice gab b/t stitches) along the circular (rounded) portion of your folded fabric.

{Step 5}

Gently pull your thread so your first petal forms. Fold your second piece of fabric twice, and continue a gather stitch along that fabric's rounded edge, attaching it to the first petal.

{Step 6}

Continue this process until you have all petals attach. Gently pull the thread so all petals are formed and tight. Finish it off by connecting your last petal with your first.

{Step 7}

You should now have a flower that looks like this:

{Step 8}

Time to embellish. With a hot glue gun, glue a button in the center and add any other buttons/sparkles/beads as you wish.

{Step 9}

Glue a hair clip or pin to the back.

{Step 10}

Voila! This is your finished product.

I like to wear mine in my hair. You can glue a hair clip AND pin on the back if you wish to use it for both hair & clothes.

Love you all!

Green is on the Way!

2011-03-25T16:48:00.003-05:00

Another Friday afternoon update.

I have been feeling a bit un-clever lately. With the exception of yesterday afternoon. I was just coming off my afternoon-coffee "high" and purchased a "Pep Upper" smoothie,

"With half the amount of caffeine, please."

A smoothie named "Pep Upper" is bound to have a dose of that.

Well. Caffeine is caffeine, and I had already had my fair share. After slurping down half of it, Kristi and I were sitting in the parking lot waiting for our senior to arrive for our photo session. Suddenly, everything turned hilarious, including myself. I laughed at everything I said. Kristi wasn't impressed.

Anyway, I don't make a habit of that. I really didn't think about it until it happened. I usually try to limit myself. (i.e. 1 soda a day. 1 coffee a day. etc.) And generally, I do a pretty good job. Except for days like yesterday.

So, for a week there, I was starting to get used to what Spring could feel like. One evening, I even took a bike ride. I love bike rides. Of course, I had to swallow my fear of wiping out again (it was about this time last year that I had my near-fatal crash). That doesn't stop me from wearing headphones, but I do still sport my pink & purple helmet (the one I purchased at Walmart after the incident-- in the kids' aisle). And yes, I strap my helmet OVER the headphones. Not the safest option, but it just makes me that much more aware visually, not to mention that if I DID fall, at least my head would be padded.

Hunger is creeping in... supper time is near. So I will close with a picture that I took at a recent family event. This was one of those too-good-to-be-true days in March where the sun was shining, the sky was blue, and everyone wore t-shirts outside. The grass even looked greener.

Enjoy your weekend!

Love you all- T

Friday's 5

2011-03-18T17:23:00.003-05:00

I want to update, but it's Friday afternoon at 5:30 and my brain is mostly fried from the week. So the goal is optimal viewer satisfaction with minimal provider effort. Solution: post pictures.

Here's to a Friday's Five... I love taking pictures of my family, and I love capturing the fun moments that somehow seem a lot more packed with action when caught on camera than in real life. But hey... that's the joy of locking a split second away in time forever. The candid emotions make you feel like you're a part of it. Here is the selection... if you feel so moved, you may comment on your favorite!

(These are extracted from the photos of a recent family birthday celebration).

Pass It On

2011-03-13T13:43:00.005-05:00

The day we left Florida, we connected with the guy who owned the house we stayed in.

"Give any of your leftover groceries to Ted," he told us. "He'll love them."

Ted was our next door neighbor. He was in charge of turning our Cable TV on and off, and he always had a 3-4 cars in his driveway at a time. He was usually outside working on something.

As we were all packing up, I grabbed the plastic sack of leftover groceries and crossed the yard.

"Hi Ted," I greeted. "Here is some food we had left-- you can have it," I told him.

"Thank you!" He was grateful.

Standing in the driveway with him was a friend.

"You girls were here visiting?" he asked.

"Yes, headed back home shortly, though," I told him.

"Oh, well you have a nice trip," he told me, "and God bless you."

"Thanks!"

As I turned to walk away, he called to me, "Wait..."

I turned.

"I have a gift for you, before you leave," he said, reaching into his back pocket. He took out a small pamphlet and handed it to me. I flipped it over and read the title: Do You Know for Certain that you have Eternal Life?

I smiled. "Well, I already know the Lord," I told him, "But I will be sure to pass this along to someone else."

"You do that!" he told me.

I was headed to the airport, so I was sure I would meet someone.

We ended up with plenty of time. After an amazing chicken parmigiana bagel sandwich, a Starbucks, and a game of Euchre, it was time to board the plane. Nothing monumental happened. We were flying Southwest, so there was no assigned seating. Unfortunately, we were one of the last groups to board, and seating is frist-come-first-serve, which meant we headed toward the back.

As a group of 4 young girls, we had to split up 2 and 2. In the back was a group of 5 men in their 40s-50s who were just flying him from a golfing trip in Florida. It was clear that they were extremely intoxicated.

They had to spread out, as well, and one of the guys ended up sitting right by me. I knew he wasn't completely aware of everything he was disclosing, but I did learn a lot about him-- we talked about his kids, his job, his life. We talked for at least 30-40 minutes. At one point, he looked over at Leah, who was sitting beside me by the window, and frowned.

"What are you reading over there?" he asked.

"I'm doing a bible study," she answered.

"Ah."

"We're Christians," I told him. "Do you go to church anywhere?"

"I'm Catholic," was his answer.

Seeing this as my opportunity to learn more about his beliefs, I asked, "What do Catholics believe?" merely out of curiosity.

With that one question, his entire demeanor changed, even within the state he was in.

"No, no, no," he told me nervously. "I'm not going there," he said.

"I was just asking the question," I told him.

He proceeded to tell me a story that didn't make a lot of sense at the time, but looking back, I know he was trying to express that the only encounters with Christians that sticks out to him are situations that seemed hypocritical. He quickly welcomed a subject change, however.

A little later, we were talking about cops.

"You would be a good cop," he told me, pointing.

"Why is that?" I asked.

"Because," he said, "You were drilling me earlier."

"Drilling you?"

"Yeah. About religion."

I don't consider asking one question as "drilling," yet it was clear he was uncomfortable with the topic.

"I'll tell you what-- I have a gift for you," I told him.

"A gift?"

"But I can't give it to you know, because I can't get to my purse. I'll give it to you later."

He fell asleep for the last half of the flight and I really didn't talk to him again until we deplaned.

Everyone made their way to the baggage claim, and I spotted him in his group. I wanted to say good-bye and see if there was still a good opportunity to share with him. I walked over and thanked him for sitting by me, and I was met with a hug.

"And here," I said, holding out the pamphlet. "Someone just gave this to me, and I told them I knew the Lord so would pass it along."

"Thank you," he said, and smiled.

---

So often, I think we measure our spirituality or witnessing efforts in terms of results. If we didn't walk the person through John 3:16 or sign them up for baptism, we feel like our efforts were meager. If we don't "make someone a Christian" on the spot, then we failed.

That's all wrong. The power to save a life lies not in our hands. God saves-- we are just the messengers. And a messenger doesn't necessarily have to verbalize everything. A messenger can deliver a louder message by saying nothing at all, at times, than by talking.

I recently received a letter from one of the prisoners that I write, and on the outside of the envelope, she wrote the quote: The greatest sermon you will ever preach is the one you have lived!

What do people see from my life?

We may not all be there when a person decides to accept Christ in their life-- each person has their own unique testimony made up of many circumstances and people that brought them to the breaking point. That's OK. If being the "messenger" who delivered a pamphlet on salvation to a 45-year-old on an airplane gets him one step closer to interest in Christianity, then I am excited to see how God uses it. It may not come to fruition tomorrow, next year, or even within the next decade... but maybe it helped plant a seed or water the one that was there.

God has a way of working in and through people to carry out His purpose... and although some things seem so small and futile to us, nothing escapes His attention and master plan.

While in FL

2011-03-07T20:51:00.011-06:00

Today was the first day back from my week-long vacation in Florida. While it was lovely, and by lovely, I mean: sunny skies, sand & water, eating out, and fun with girls... by the end of the week, I was ready to return. I love a good trip, but am usually itching to return to real life at some point. It doesn't take away from the fun I had, it's just a good sign that I love the life I lead away from my vacations so much that it's not a terrible thing in which to return. :)

Every vacation teaches me new lessons. Here were my FL finds:

It's All Relative

I couldn't stop using this phrase the whole week. While I feel it can be widely overused, it is so true in so many cases. "It's relative" can apply to a lot of things. For instance, morning coffee. My morning coffee consists of an instant Starbucks packet + a dash of cinnamon mixed with instant hot water, poured into a ceramic cup. Leah's morning coffee is a Diet Coke. Both give us the caffeinated start we so desire... so whether you drink SB or DC, it's all relative, right?

Now of course, my coffee choice changes if a drive-thru Starbucks is within range...

SPF

I love the sun. At times, I underestimate it's power. On Day 1 of the Florida beach, I lathered up with a generous amount of SPF, which in hindsight, was probably not strong enough for the first day, only once. No reapplications. No second thoughts.

Until we returned home that evening and saw the aftermath... then I used SPF 50 and 70 on certain areas the rest of the week. And the day before I came home, I was peeling everywhere.

There is a consequence for every area of your life you don't protect...

I Still Love Birds

It's true. I'm not sure what it is about birds, but I do love the ones that live on the beach. One day, I even fed them part of my PB&J. My first experience on the beach was in Siesta Key when I was 5 years old. There is a picture of me jumping up into the air and feeding the birds bread. I am including it below to see that in 20 years, not much has changed...

Sunsets are a Big Deal

In Florida, if you are on the beach during a sunset, it is like any big Hollywood Premier. Cameras are out, people are watching, and when the sun goes down... everyone claps.

"Pelicans : Water" are like "Taryn : Dessert"

You all thought that I loved dessert and would do anything for it. You may have even thought I was the only one this crazy about getting good food. Think again. I have some competition: pelicans. I had the opportunity to watch pelicans go after their meal, and it was quite the show. All at once, from their spot in the sky, they eye their prey and then nose dive at high speeds, splashing into the water to catch what they see. Similar to how I spot a peanut butter pie dessert on the menu, flag down the waitress, and order it immediately.

Ice Cream Tastes Better on the Beach

I have eaten ice cream in February in Central IL, and I have eaten ice cream in February on Siesta Key Beach. The beach wins.

Friends are Fun

Friends are fun while eating, dancing, driving, and walking. Friends are fun in Illinois, friends are fun in Arizona, friends are fun in Florida. Friends are fun anywhere you go, but especially when you're on vacation.

Love you all!

Africa Revisited

2011-02-16T22:39:00.007-06:00

One year and one month ago, I was in Zambia, Africa.

Before I left, I was warned: Once you go to Africa, you will leave part of your heart there.

I wasn't so sure. I am an emotional person, yet at times I can have a very "get real" attitude.

Needless to say, I DID leave part of my heart there. A part of my heart that would someday like to go back. Fortunately, I was along as the team photographer, so a lot of my heart is shown through the images. I love to capture, and Africa and its people provided subjects that were packed with depth.

While there, our team was responsible for helping at the Lifesong for Orphans school. I can still remember the first day we walked there. We were a big group of white kids, and we stood out. As we journeyed the couple miles on the dirt roads, there were many Africans that walked alongside us. Seeing others walk on the street was as common as seeing cars drive on the streets of America. It was a culture shock.

As we neared the school, several beautiful kids ran up and grabbed our hands. All we had to do was look at them with love and they trusted us. Their hands slipped into ours, and we made the rest of the walk together, hand-in-hand.

Over the next week, we had the opportunity to meet and spend time with children starved for love. A lot of these children only had one parent or no parents at all, so lived with friends or other family. Most only ate 2 meals a day, both of which were provided at school.

All you have to do is look at the pictures to see into the heart of these kids. Jesus loves all the children of the world, and these precious souls in Africa are not forgotten. I have included a selection of favorites from my trip last year.

Happy Heart Day

2011-02-14T23:10:00.003-06:00

Happy Valentine's Day 2011... to me. The 25th year in a row that I celebrate the day of love without a bouquet of pretty flowers or a dinner date with my significant other.

But you can't miss what you never had, right?

Today I was thinking about what this day is really about. It's about love... and I thought of love in my life. I thought about how, even when I do find "romantic" love someday, that won't change my First Love. I don't say that to be cheesy... it's just the simple truth. God will always come first in my life, and relying on Him will be the only way I am fulfilled. That is Truth whether I am single, married, with or without children, or widowed. I learned a long time ago that if I can't find contentment in that promise, then I won't ever be content.

God has dished me out an extra serving of grace lately. And especially today! I found myself brightly happy... and not just the kind where you wear a smile on your face but battle inner turmoil. This was true joy. True joy that came as I handed a bouquet of beautiful flowers to my friend and business partner that were delivered to our studio from her husband. True joy that came as I read a FB status of one of my newly married friends: "My husband is the best thing that has happened to me since Jesus Christ." True joy that came as I walked into Culver's tonight all by myself to grab a dinner "to go."

True joy comes in the truly joyful times, but the beauty of true joy is that it can also survive on the cloudiest day, the lousiest week, or the saddest moment.

Tonight, I climbed into my car and was marveling at God's grace and His hand of calming peace in my life. As I did so, I set my bag of dinner on the passenger seat and turned my car on. Immediately, these words drifted into my ears from the car radio, "Many young single people become impatient waiting for the "perfect match." They spend so much time searching for the "right one," when what they should be doing is living like "the right one." Our utmost goal in life is to glorify God with our lives, and be the best we can be. In being obedient and living this way, we are on the right track. This doesn't mean you hide from the world-- you have to put yourself out there-- but instead of making your goal to be the pursuit of the "right one"-- just be the right one."

I am obviously paraphrasing, but it was refreshing to hear those words. He also talked about patience and waiting on God's perfect timing.

A little bit later, I had small group. I love my group-- I am the youngest one by a long shot, but I love it. We are currently studying the book of James, and the subject of God's solid, unchanging character was brought up. We talked about the verse, "Be still, and know that I am God."

So hard to do in today's world... but so important. How can we hear God or know God without this important action?

It's always easier to be doing something, and it's always easier to trust in someone or something else.

"Be still, and know that I am God."

An awesome Truth from our God of Love!

Love you all,

T

This Makes 12!

2011-02-11T22:55:00.006-06:00

For those of you who are not on Facebook, this post may be a bit delayed. For that, I apologize!

Anyway, last Wednesday evening, I became an aunt of 12. That's right-- a dozen nieces and nephews.

I got the call around noon.

"Well, we're going to the hospital," my mom announced excitedly.

"Really? Well, keep me posted," I told her, thinking it would likely be awhile. After my last sister's baby, I knew that labor can sometimes take hours... days, even.

I spent the afternoon at work, and then went to pick up my sister-in-law at her house around 5pm to head over to the hospital. My mom and other sister had been there all day, serving as cheerleaders to Tonya.

By the time we arrived, things had progressed. Tonya was definitely a bit more uncomfortable, and her contractions were taking her somewhere. Her midwife was continually monitoring her status and would tell us. As it got closer, I stepped outside of the room to call my dad. He had a previous appointment but had not yet arrived, and we knew it would be soon.

"Dad," I said when he answered, "You need to get here. It's going to be anytime now."

No sooner had I hung up, and a nurse came flying out of the room in a panic.

"Get everything! NOW!" she was saying.

Bewildered, I looked into the room. Melissa was standing there, motioning for me to come in.

I thought back to my other sister's last pregnancy, and how I had stood outside in the hallway and listened. It sounded terrifying... and painful. I didn't know if it was something I could hear again, much less witness in person.

However, after overcoming my initial fears, I strode forward into the room and stood near the back with Melissa.

Tasha, my mom, and Brad were all up with Tonya, as well as a team of others-- the midwife, several nurses, etc. to help deliver.

I must say, watching this was so neat. A lot of people witness a birth and are grossed out. I have a tendency to be squeamish around too much blood and gore, but this was so far beyond that... it was the witness of a miracle! It was truly an amazing experience. Brad was able to help deliver little Liam as he breathed his first breaths.

Halfway into it, I snapped out of my trance and remembered that I was a photographer. I tried to inch my way up and capture this as best I could. I was able to get some really special first-moment shots of everyone seeing this precious baby boy for the first time.

They told me that I had a choice: I can have 2 children, or 6. Tate & Melissa had 3, Tonya & Brad have 4, and Tasha & Tom have 5. That leaves me with 2 or 6.

"I'll have 2," I told them.

But who knows what the future will bring?

I have now officially watched someone leave this life and die right in front of my very eyes, as well as see someone take his first breaths of this life. Two totally different experiences, but each extraordinary in their own way.

It reminds me of how truly powerful God is... He weaves us together in the uttermost parts of the Earth before we are born, and we are all fearfully and wonderfully made. And in the end of our life, when we can breathe our last breath with the assurance of Heaven, what a hope that instills in everyone involved.

Love you all!

T

Life Goal #1 & #2

2011-02-05T22:32:00.005-06:00

A couple of random pictures I will share. Neither have anything to do w/today's post other than that they are random. I found them both in old picture archives. One was taken and edited a couple of years ago (house), while the other is a raw image file I found and edited tonight (candle).

The house one I just liked. It originally had the word "maison" (means "house" in French) in bright yellow words that sat along the angle of the roof, but I removed it. I liked the juxtaposition of the bright, Hollywood-like letters against the vintage-texture background, yet it felt too loud.

The candle picture, I remember snapping it right after I blew it out w/the intent of catching the smoke. It reminds me of the verse in the Bible that says our lives are but a vapor... so short and temporary. If you will humor me w/the analogy... our lives are like a lovely "fresh linen" or "cinnamon apple pie" scent that fills a room and warms it, affecting the space we fill, but just as quickly is blown out, leaving behind a faint scent of what used to be and no longer is.

I have a little notebook. It has a burnt orange leather-texture cover. My mom gave it to me for Christmas a few years back. On the front page, I signed my name in the upper left corner (in all lowercase) and on the center of the page I wrote:

"my little Book of thoughts, prayers, goals, scribbles, imaginations, and Life"
Dec. 2006 -

It is nowhere near finished so an end date is not listed. I love it. In it, random pages are filled with random contents, all of which reflect the description above in some way, shape, or form.

The best part about this book is that there is no order. There is no method to my madness. I simply open it up to a blank page somewhere in the book and fill it as I see fit. To some of you, this sounds utterly chaotic and unorganized. To me, it is truly freeing.

I love flipping through and finding random treasures hidden among a bunch of blank pages... something I didn't realize that I wrote, or something that I knew I did, but forgot about.

Among some of the content reads my "Life Goals." In no particular order, I started to list them. There is something interesting that happened when I started to write these... likely around 2-3 years ago. I'll extract my writing so you can see it:

"Life Goal #1- write & publish a book

1/14/07- I decided today that if I ever go on and get my Master's (degree), it will be in psychology specializing in personality so that I can counsel couples and friends in relationships.

Life Goal #2- write & publish a book
*It's interesting that I didn't realize that this is the exact same goal as #1!

Life Goal #3- Purchase a green Volkswagen Beetle. (or a mini cooper)."

From there, I have more life goals listed in which I won't share for now. What I really wanted to point out was how #1 & #2 are exactly the same goal, and I didn't even realize that I wrote it twice in a row, probably because I wrote them at different times. They were also separated by my random thought of obtaining a Master's degree in Psychology. As I look back on that now, I remember a time that I was preoccupied with that field, and I still count it and "personality types" among one of my biggest hobbies. I LOVE reading books on the topic and discussing it with anyone who will listen, and I've even been known to "personality type" people on the spot when I meet them. So it would seem as though I do fulfill this goal in a very small capacity, regardless of whether I am qualified or not! I have come to realize that this is best suited as a passion and hobby rather than a life path.

Also, I had to throw in Life Goal #3 to show that one of my goals has, indeed, been accomplished!

Anyway, about Life Goal #1 (and #2). I was at the gym a few days ago when an older lady who goes to our church approached me.

"Taryn," she said, "I think you should be... you know, those people who write. You take great pictures, but I just love how you write."

"You mean... an author?" I asked.

"YES! An author."

I smiled. "Why do you say that... did you read my blog?"

"Well, it was pulled up the other day and I was reading it, so I think you should write something."

I didn't tell her that I have been writing stories since I could hold a pencil in my hand, or that I used to write and illustrate books in my free time at school. I didn't tell her that my one love and passion in life, in addition to capturing images, is to write stories, to write about life, to write about what happens. I didn't tell her that writing to me is like therapy, and without it I wouldn't be the same. I didn't tell her that I have countless poems and short stories started and not finished, or completed but not used. I didn't tell her about my Life Goals #1 & #2.

I just smiled, and was flattered.

I told my cousin today that I really do want to write a book, but it probably won't happen until I'm in my 40s.

"More of like a mid-life crisis project," I told her.

"Would it be fiction or non-fiction?" she asked.

"Fiction," I told her. "Non-fiction takes too much research. Although... so does fiction."

"Fiction based on non-fiction?" she asked with a clever smile.

"Yes, realistic fiction," I told her.

"Like Anne (of Green Gables) did... how she wrote about Avonlea. About her life, but a story."

"Exactly."

And the way I see it, I'll have to wait until I'm older until I have enough life experience, wisdom, stories, and insight to share. These days, that isn't feeling so far off. It's not that I wouldn't love to write a story now, but I just don't feel ready. Besides, my passion and calling now is photography and my business, and there is a large amount of writing that I get to tie in there. Not counting my personal blogging and what-not :)

Anyway, my main goal in writing and publishing a book is to do it for the glory of God. I don't necessarily think I'll write a sermon or a bible study, but I do want it to be powerful and effective spiritually. I trust the Lord will give me the wisdom to do that, and nudge me when the time is right!

Love you all,

T

Blizzard 2011

2011-02-02T17:28:00.004-06:00

The Good News: the groundhog didn't see his shadow, meaning Spring is near. The Bad News: The groundhog is only right 38% of the time. It's been awhile since I was in school, but I do remember that this percentage is nowhere near successful.

Another piece of trivia: Central IL was hit with Blizzard 2011 last night. Last night began with me getting called into work 3 hours early. This was initially arranged so that the 2nd shift staff could get home in the horrific weather, but after she spent 20 minutes in the driveway trying to dig out her car, she came back inside and told us she was also staying the night. So my house had 2 third shifters last night.

We awoke at 6am and turned on the news. We had several inches of snow on the ground, and no one was getting anywhere. First shift called and obviously couldn't make it in right away, so I stuck around to help her out until about 8:30 when my dad finally got our vehicle out of our driveway and came to pick me up.

Upon arriving home, my parents and I ate blueberry-banana pancakes and then I bundled up to go outside and help shovel the driveway. After an hour, my cheeks were bright red and chapped. The very last thing I did was try to uncover my little car from the drifted snow. I gave up halfway through and let my dad finish the job.

The rest of my day included a hot bubble bath, work from home on my laptop, and watching sappy Disney movies on TV while pining after the acting career I never had.

Sometimes, I feel like I should have been an actress/singer. Not that I can do either one, but something within me calls to do it. Strange, eh? However, showbiz is one career in which it is hard to be much of a Christian witness. And besides, while entertainment is... well, entertaining, it is merely just that. Not a very profitable use of our time, so why endorse it with my life path? I think I'm satisfied with my line of work... capturing memories that will live on in timelessness.

Anyway, snow day 2011 is ending well. We're having my sister's family and kids over for pork roast tonight, and will try to find out some way for her to get rolling with her baby. She is due to have her little boy within the next few weeks and is progressing quickly. I told her tonight would be an excellent choice... the roads are more clear, and I'm off work! My presence is definitely required at the hospital since I'm the family photographer.

Well, that's a wrap. Enjoy the pic. Love you all! Stay warm...

T

Baby-Sitting {Day 2-3}

2011-01-29T22:59:00.004-06:00

Our schedule today:

{7 am} Lola & Tillie wake up
{7:45} Lola & Tillie wake Taryn up
{8:05} Waffles & Peanut Butter for breakfast
{9:00} Baths & Showers
{9:15} Watch part of "Rainy with a Chance of Meatballs"
{10:00} Leave for Tumbling (30 minutes early)
{10:15} Pick up coffee for Taryn
{10:30} Tillie goes to tumbling
{10:45} Lola and Taryn wait for Tillie to be done. Lola eats a donut.
{11:00} Lola goes to tumbling
{11:15} Taryn & Tillie go to Walmart to wait on Lola to be done.
{11:20} Taryn picks out what she needs at Walmart
{11:25} Taryn & Tillie arrive to the fingernail polish aisle to pick out a color. Taryn gets distracted. Taryn can't make a decision.
{11:30} Taryn realizes it's late and goes to check out.
{11:32} As Taryn exits the store, the alarm sounds and the lady by the door has to "de-magnetize" her purchase before she can proceed.
{11:34} Taryn has a mild panic attack that she is so late in picking Lola up from tumbling and tries to smile nicely at the lady who finally gives her purchase back and says, "Thank you for your time."
{11:36} Taryn experience what road rage is really like.
{11:40} Taryn arrives to pick up Lola.
{11:50} Taryn, Tillie, and Lola arrive at McDonald's to meet other family & cousins for lunch.
{1:00} Everyone goes to Taryn's studio to take a few fun pictures.
{1:30} Everyone goes to "Grandma's" to get manicures.
{2:30} We play games (Dance, Chutes & Ladders) & read books.
{3:30} Taryn takes a couple of the girl cousins home and returns back with Lola & Tillie.
{4:00} Lola & Tillie bundle up and go outside to play.
{4:30} Lola & Tillie relax inside with sweats on.
{5:30} Another baby-sitter arrives so Taryn can go out to eat with the adults.
{6:00 on} Lola & Tillie have a fun-filled night with the baby-sitter.

Baby-Sitting {Day 1}

2011-01-27T22:32:00.003-06:00

Day 1 of baby-sitting the girls... ending well. I only have the 2, but you have to break me in easy. I am quite positive I could have handled Milo, too, but I am thankful for the opportunity to enjoy the ones I have.

There are a couple of things that I forgot about kids:

1) They are inventive.

(e.g.) Cutting a piece of paper into 100 little pieces, making a fort out of a blanket that is covering our legs, and being entertained enough to work on a sticker book for 1 hour.

2) Their curiosity.

(e.g.) Kids ask a lot of questions. And by a lot, I mean, every other sentence that comes out of their mouth is a question. If it's not a question, it's a statement of the obvious that you must nod and smile to acknowledge or else it will be repeated 25 more times.

Toward the end of the day, I became a bit lazy and started answering questions that took too much explaining with, "I don't know." Otherwise, my explanation was too complicated, which only evoked even more questions.

My favorite question of the day: Let me set the scene. We were all in the van, heading home from a dinner of pizza. We had to drive across town, which takes around 10 minutes. We were about 2 minutes from home, and up until then the ride had been relatively silent. Lola pipes up from the back seat,

"Taryn, do you know how to drive?"

My immediate reaction would usually be to remark, "No, I have no idea how to drive," but since 5-year-olds don't usually understand sarcasm, I just laughed and assured her that I do know how to drive. How else would we be driving right now?

And then, "How do you know how to drive?"

"I learned it in school," I told her.

"Do you go to school?"

"Not anymore. I'm all done." (Contrary to popular belief, I'm not 15 anymore, even though I must look it).

"You aren't going to school tomorrow?"

"No, I don't go to school anymore."

"Why not?"

"Because I work now. But I'm not working tomorrow, because I am staying home to watch you."

Overall, today was really fun! I am sure I'll return tomorrow with some more stories. Until then, enjoy the pictures.

Love you all!

T

Selection of 5

2011-01-25T19:01:00.004-06:00

There is no argument about it: I am random.

I don't consider myself a very detail-oriented person, yet I love to capture details. Perhaps it's because it is all the little details that piece together in order to make the magnificent whole. They are the puzzle pieces in painting the picture.

When you combine random + details, it = tonight's post.

I am sharing 5 images that may speak to you all in different ways. It's been awhile since I have posted a Top 10 Tuesday... and it is Tuesday... but I only have 5 images. So pretend like there's 10 and participate... comment about the image that makes you the happiest!

Love you all!

T

Laying Low

2011-01-23T15:52:00.003-06:00

Tonight I tried to make a mocha smoothie. It failed. It really sounded good, too. This is one smoothie I have not quite mastered the art of perfecting. In the mean time, I continue to stay addicted to mocha ice caps from Sweet Treats on Main St.

We had an engagement shoot on Saturday in which Kristi and I hiked into a gully. It was snow-covered and around 20 degrees, but the couple wanted snow. So we showed them snow! We were outside over an hour, but it was actually very fun.

My weekend has been pretty low-key and slightly lame. That's OK, though, every once in awhile. Sometimes, life gets so busy that I forget what having time to relax looks like, and I need weekends like this to remind me that they truly are a gift.

In church today I sat with two Hispanic brothers, ages 9 and 7. Their mother and two younger brothers sat behind us. They all have thick dark hair, big eyes, and dimples. They are absolutely irresistible.

It was the second service (after lunch). I found myself thinking and praying for them the whole time. In fact, I heard very little of the sermon. I kept thinking about them, their siblings... their parents.

They come from a rough family environment... a dysfunctional one. It's a situation in which they will likely learn the wrong behaviors and make the wrong decisions, because that is all they know. Yet at this age, at this innocent age, they are precious. How does a vicious cycle of broken lives become mended, so that a future of hope can take place? We are trying to figure that out.

The two boys I had charge over sat like perfect angels and played with toys from one large bag that was shared among all four. After they were finished with one activity, they neatly put it away and asked for another. Towards the end, the 7-year-old became fascinated with these little plastic pieces that have multiplication tables on them and red string to match the correct answer to the problem. I thought he would be too young, but he was quick and sharp. He answered several correctly.

Our family has become close with their mother and father. We are trying what we can as a family and church body to offer them the help they need. It is sometimes hard to discern the appropriate level of "help" to administer, but God gives guidance.

I am finding that the rough and tough, the underdogs, the downtrodden, the oppressed, the jailed, the beggars... what they really need is love. It sounds cliche, of course. But really. A little bit of attention and some loving care goes a long way.

They are not used to having the common luxuries that most of enjoy everyday. There is nothing consistently stable about their lives. And then I review my earlier sentence at the beginning of this post and find myself disgusted that I complained about a lame yet relaxing weekend.

God brings people and situations into our lives to teach us lessons. The older I get, the more I am finding how He shapes me through circumstances, and how I react to them. Whether or not I find joy in the journey is completely up to me and my obedience to the One who guides.

Love you all!

T

God Calling

2011-01-18T19:42:00.003-06:00

This is the part of winter where I start to fall victim of SAD. I can only endure so many cold, gray days. My lasting hope is a Florida trip planned at the end of February. I leave in 45 days. Not that I'm counting.

Until then, a few of my winter necessities have malfunctioned. For instance, I only have one pair of warm boots that are wearable on an everyday basis. The other days, I wear flats. I am somewhat of a flat fanatic. I opt for comfort over height so you will seldom see me clicking around in heels unless absolutely necessary. Also, my mustard yellow winter coat from last year has bit the dust. A new one must be purchased. But part of me wants to withhold. What if a warm front comes through soon and stays until June?

Highly unlikely, but somehow, buying the new coat solidifies my reluctant belief that winter is, indeed, sticking around for at least 3 more months.

Enough on the weather. I received this prayer journal for Christmas called "God Calling." It was written by two women who seek to remain anonymous and call themselves the "Two Listeners."

I wasn't sure what to expect, because most devotionals tend to be the same way... nuggets of treasured wisdom here and there, but predictably mild most of the time. However, this book has some of the most profound thoughts in it. I really love it, and look forward to reading it each and everyday. I also love how it is written. There is a charming and mysterious quality about it; it is as if you are starting to read the middle of a really awesome thought process rather than the logical beginning-middle-end setup. It is forthright and gives directives. It is real.

There are lines on each page to then journal prayers. That is another thing that I love to do. It is such a huge testimony of how God works when you have the opportunity to write out your prayers.

Anyway, from time to time I would love to share thoughts from this book. Tonight I will share the insight from January 6. It is titled "Sharp and Ready."

"You must pray. The way will open. God cares and His plans unfold. Just love and wait. Love is the Key. No door is too difficult for it to open.

What cause have you to fear? Has He not cared for and protected you? Hope on. Hope gladly. Hope with certainty. Be calm, calm in My Power.

Never neglect these times; pray and read your Bible and train and discipline yourself. That is your work--Mine to use you. But My instruments must be sharp and ready. Then I use them.

Discipline and perfect yourselves at all costs. Do this, for soon every fleeting thought will be answered, every wish gratified, every deed used. It is a fearful Power, a mighty Power. Oh! be careful that you ask nothing amiss-- nothing that is not according to My Spirit.

All thoughts harmful must be tuned out. See how necessary I have made the purity and goodness of your own lives to you. Soon, you shall ask and at once it will come. Welcome the training. Without it I dare not give you the Power.

Do not worry about others' lives. You must perfect yourselves first in My Strength."

I like the importance the author places on daily devotion to God. Getting in the word, and having a prayerful mind. It is so simplistically (and truly!) stated... God cares... God will provide... God's way will unfold. So why DO we worry?

The other day, I had the thought that perhaps I make life way more difficult then I need to. And perhaps we all do, as humans. So much of self distracts us from the Truth written in those words above. If only I would just cling to what I know to be true, then life would be easier.

If only I would always trust. If only I would remember God's promises. God loves, God provides, God comforts, God's will prevails.

It's like this. Imagine a narrow road. All you have to do is keep walking on the road to get to your destination. That's it. Just straight ahead. But the catch is, there are so many distractions on either side. So many other paths to take that intersect this narrow road. So many different choices, so many other options. Before you know it, you've wasted 1 year on another path, 2 months up a tree, 4 weeks trying to cross a river when the road was all you needed to follow.

God has really made it quite simple for us.

I like the emphasis placed on "love is the key," too. Love IS the key, really. Sounds so cliche, but I have been learning a lot about it. If a word, an action, an attitude is not motivated by love, it cannot result in anything fruitful.

Love you all!

T

My Life in Pictures

2011-01-16T21:27:00.006-06:00

I don't have time for many words tonight, so I'll let the pictures speak for what I've been about these past couple of weeks!

Holly & Kent at their rehearsal dinner

All the bride's maids minus Jenn at Holly's the night before her wedding (we're holding sparkling water)

A quick snap with Holly & Kent on their wedding day!
Arlan & Katie, the lovely host couple at the reception
Holly's flowers
The very cool reception venue

Saying good-bye to Mr. & Mrs. Levy

On the way home from MI, we stopped at a Starbucks for my birthday

Cyd's for lunch for a girl's day party

Girl's Day Out

My FAVORITE cake of all times for my family birthday celebration... Buckeye Cake

Tillie helped me blow out the candles

Tillie and Silas jumping up and down, SO excited for cake!

Naomi & Lola
I found Sylvia like this... on the kitchen table, eating garlic butter with a straw
Hugs from the girls
Birthday girls... my 25th and Melissa's 30th
Tate & Sophie were playing Just Dance II on the wii, and Sophia gave Tate a high 5 at the end

Kristi & I were invited to a lovely morning brunch last week... Lynn is welcoming us in!

Pretty table decor

Oh... reminds me of Spring. Can't wait

Our delicious brunch

Love you all! Will be back soon with words. T

Adventures in the Grocery Store

2011-01-08T22:16:00.005-06:00

Today I attacked our refrigerator and kitchen cupboards. We had little to no food left in our house, and the food we DID have was mostly expired or rotting.

Needless to say, we've been in and out of our house since the holidays, so reorganization was in order. After pitching the old and making room for the new, I had prepared a mental grocery list in my head of what we needed. I had already promised my mom that I would do the grocery shopping today, so this was a good first step.

Call me crazy, but I hate writing out grocery lists. It's strange because I have a terrible memory and I am such a visual person, but when I go to the grocery store, there is only one way I like to do it: aisle by aisle. I start at the outer perimeter of the store, checking in first to fresh produce, meats, dairy, and frozen food. I then weave in and out of the inner aisles to complete the job. I realize my mistake in shopping exactly opposite of what would be correct according to optimal food freshness, but I haven't broken the habit yet.

I would much rather look at everything in the store and be reminded of what I need than look at a list every 3 seconds and be stressed out the entire time about getting it all checked off.

Anyway, today I took an especially long time. There is never a place that I am more aware of my poor decision making skills than at the grocery store. Which kind of fruit, clementines or oranges? Should I select the ripe bananas or go for the ones that are still semi-green? Do we want 3 yogurts or 4... what if I make more smoothies than I think I will? Should I get the Kleenex in the horizontal box or the tall box, and once I make that decision, I have to pick which designs I want on the boxes.

Besides trying to make anywhere from 200-300 decisions regarding food type, color, size, portion, and nutritional value, I also have a mild case of ADD. I get distracted very easily. So while I am going up and down every aisle any way, it doesn't take much for something to catch my eye. Well... maybe I need to look at THAT. What is THIS? Is this new packaging??

So today, I was making pretty good progress, I will say. I had successfully loaded a lot of items into the cart, and I was reserving the front seat for a few of my own personal items. One happened to be a new candle for my office. For those of you who don't know-- I have a candle fetish. I LOVE candles. In fact, it probably took me about 5 minutes to figure out which scent to choose. Do I go for something seasonably appropriate, or a post-Christmas sale special, or something that reminds me of the beach since it's so cold out these days?

You can see my dilemma.

Nonetheless, I did eventually make a decision and so this candle was sitting in the seat of my cart. I was rolling down the candy/cereal aisle (very slowly, as there will quite a few shoppers around me) and I was in the process of deciding which candy we should put out at our IA office. As I was doing so, the candle that I had so carefully selected rolled out of my cart and slipped out of the little hole designed for a child's leg to fit through if one had been sitting in the seat.

In a moment of slow motion, it crashed to the tile ground and glass shattered everywhere. I heard a couple of passer-bys gasp. I quickly lowered myself and started scooping the candle out of the glass.

One lady moved slowly by and said, "Be careful with the all that glass, don't cut yourself."

For some reason, it really shook me up. I felt like a 5-year-old who just broke her mom's favorite glass lamp.

Within seconds, a teenage boy who works at the grocery store was by my side. He had come to my rescue with a cardboard box and a broom. I have no idea how he was there so quickly, but he was.

He started scooping up the glass into a pile and shoveling the larger pieces into the box.

I watched as he continued to scoop up my mess.

"OK, well just let me know and I can pay for it..."

"Don't worry about it," he told me, "It happens ALL the time."

"Alright," I smiled, and he was done within seconds. I gathered myself and tried to return to my decision-making world of candy and cereal boxes.

As I left the aisle, I saw the boy again. "Seriously," he told me, as if I didn't quite yet believe him. "It happens more than you think. But usually, it's something like spaghetti sauce."

I smiled. "Well, I'm glad I gave you something with easier clean up."

After about 5-6 more aisles, I came to the end of my journey. But I couldn't help but notice a sale on hangers. My mom always seems to be needing more and more of these, so I decided to do her a favor and pick up a few packages. The sale was for 4 bundles, so I collected them and bent down to place them at the bottom of my cart. As I did so, one slipped from my hand and fell to the ground. Somehow, the packaging ripped and 8 white plastic hangers tumbled onto the ground.

Seriously.

I frantically scooped up the hangers in the most nonchalant manner I could find and hurried to the nearest checkout line. I needed to get out of there.

There was a nice couple checking out in front of me and I marveled at how lucky I was; they were almost done and I would be next. I grabbed the little separator stick and started unloading my rather large cart of groceries onto the conveyor belt.

"Um, ma'am," the checkout girl called. I looked up.

She pointed to the sign above her register.

"This is a 15 Items or Less lane."

Seriously.

Bewildered, I started collecting the items and putting them back into my cart.

The couple in front of me looked back.

"You almost made it," the man said, smiling.

"Yes," I said sarcastically, "If only I had chosen a few less groceries."

I was likely 100 groceries over the limit.

I left that lane and found one suitable to check out in. Luckily, I left the store without anymore mishaps.

I took my car through the car wash, then came home and unloaded everything. I made fresh salsa and my mom made potato soup for dinner. I love having fresh food on hand... it makes my heart smile.

And now... I have a large selection of bedtime snacks, for which I am grateful, because I am so hungry. The only problem will be making the decision: popcorn, cereal, or fresh fruit?

Who knows what I will decide? Maybe all 3!

Love you all-- T

Resolution

2011-01-05T21:26:00.005-06:00

I don't like New Year's resolutions.

Never really have. Mostly because I don't buy into them. Largely, people tend to create new year's resolutions about goals that a) die off within 2-3 weeks or b) should be instilled into their lifestyle, anyway.

So just to be contrary, I'm going to create a list of 10 resolutions for myself this year. This just gives me an excuse to create a list, and I love lists. :)

Consider these as more so applying to my formerly stated "b" above... "should be instilled into my lifestyle, anyway."

1. Eat More Chocolate

Last night, I heard that the world might run out of chocolate by year 2020. WHAT! OK, I am sure that there will be an alternative created. And actually, this probably won't happen.

But just in case... it's a goal.

2. Drink More Water

I am convinced that water is the cure to most ailments in life. It takes away headaches and sickness, and it is what keeps our bodies running. It cleanses, purifies, and hydrates. Without it, we cannot hold up for long. Therefore... I want to drink more of it.

3. Visit Another Country, or Plan on it...

I used to despise traveling. I never thought I'd be the type of person who would want to travel the world. Then photography became a passion. And when you learn to live your life through the eye of a lens, it's hard to pass up all the beauty, diversity, culture, and people that God has placed on this Earth. I want to experience it. Ever since I went to Africa, I'd love to do a photojournalistic story of each place I travel. So... I need to get on that.

4. Learn a Song on the Piano

I love to play around and improvise. Yet, that is the easy way out for me. I need to challenge myself to learn a more difficult song... and stick with it until I learn the whole thing. Kind of like piano lessons, but without the teacher!

5. Save More

As applies to money. Save more, spend less. Keeping in perspective that my money is God's and not my own.

6. Stay Fit

This is a lifestyle goal, really. I want to stay active during all seasons. Perhaps the most difficult is winter, especially since I despise winter sports (not that I like any sports at all). It IS possible, though! Especially with accountability. And you feel oh-so-much-more better.

7. Keep up with All-Natural

Forgive me and my vanity... but I usually like to spend a few minutes of my winter weeks in a tanning bed. Actually, I will say... I am a mild sufferer of SAD. So, I do think that this "fake" source of sun has helped me to overcome my feelings of sadness on long stretches of gray gloomy days. However, this winter I have fully embraced the winter, it's cold depth, and my white skin... and, I am finding, it is very freeing and natural. I keep reminding myself... this is what God intended with my skin. So, I need to keep it that way :) Furthermore, not long ago, I read a statistic that a small amount of tanning greatly increases your risk for skin cancer. And I can't ignore the fact that climbing into a tanning bed is very similar to the feeling of climbing into a coffin. So, enough said.

8. Breath Fresh Air

Get outside and enjoy the sun on my face, the rustling of the leaves on the trees, the bright flowers, the ice and snow, the wooded forests, the ocean's waves, the rocks, the mountains, the breeze, the crisp air.

9. Relax

One of the hardest things for me to do. I want to make sure to always have enough time for a bubble bath, or to read a few chapters in a good book, or to lay outside in the backyard and look up at the stars.

10. Devotion

To God! May I never let the day go by without reading the Truth and praying to the One who leads my life... not only for myself, but for everyone that I come in contact with on a daily basis.

Love you all!

The Mark of the Lion

2010-12-27T17:12:00.002-06:00

I was hesitant at first.

"You HAVE to read this series," Kristi begged. "Seriously Taryn, you have to. You will love it."

I wasn't so sure.

She went on, "It's really not my type of reading. It's more so something you would enjoy, I promise."

I am not sure why I didn't believe her. I later concluded that the scenario I was most afraid of was the one in which I would read the series and not like it as much as she said I would.

Or as much as everyone else said I would. Virtually everyone I talked to said it was excellent.

But what if it wasn't? What if I was left disappointed, after wasting my time on 3 books from a series I didn't enjoy? Disappointment would surely follow.

Normally I love surprises. And actually, although I think way too much into everything, I think that's another reason I didn't want to read this series. Everyone else loved it too much. It had already been discovered in its uniqueness. As with anything else in life, I like going in with no expectations or pre-formed opinions. Otherwise, too quickly, what everyone else thinks or says becomes my stance rather than being prepared to be blown away by something secret that I discovered on my own.

I am not saying I don't have a mind of my own. I am merely just saying... perhaps the thoughts and opinions of others holds far more weight than they should. For example, have you ever had someone tell you about a book or movie, and with their explanation you paint a picture in your head about what you think it will be? Then you read it or watch it, and it is absolutely nothing how you had envisioned it in your mind based on what you were told.

Anyway. One afternoon after lunch, Kristi drove me to her mom's house. Her mom has an endless supply of books and book series, and is great at recommending new finds to me. Before I started this series, I was hung up with Jodi Piccoult. She wrote "My Sister's Keeper" and writes a lot of fiction centered around causes, disorders, diseases, and controversial topics. All her writing is cleverly crafted with a sense of realism. Her books are quite often page-turners and I always learn something. Perhaps another reason I was so held back from reading the series.

The series in which I speak of is "The Mark of the Lion" series. That afternoon, Kristi instructed her mom to seek out the 3 books and she handed them to me.

"It takes awhile to get into them," she warned. "Don't give up after 2 chapters."

The first night I started book one, I curled up on the couch, prepared to get myself through a couple of chapters as an introduction.

I didn't put the book down until page 114.

I finished within a week and quickly dove into book 2. I finished that one last night and plan on starting book 3 sometime soon.

Without going into "book report" mode, I will say that one of the main characters-- Hadassah-- definitely challenges you in your spiritual walk. It seems almost impossible to have the faith, humility, and boldness that she did... but it is not. It is not impossible, it is just merely uncomfortable. And most Christians aren't used to discomfort.

A lot of the situations Hadassah found herself in are situations that we are very fortunate to avoid in today's times and in a place like the US. Yet just because we've been handed freedom in choosing a religion and worshiping as we want, and just because most of us live in warm homes and have plenty to eat, and just because we aren't made slaves or gladiators in order to survive... just because, it does not excuse us from our duties as a Christian. In fact, I would think it would be MORE of a reason to reach out. We, who are fortunate... we who are so blessed beyond measure, what holds us back? In these books, for Hadassah, holding back meant protection of her life. To speak up or speak out could get her killed. So any hesitation on her part is understandable. Yet she never hesitated. She always lived her Faith, no matter what that would cost her. She knew that in the end, nothing was more important than Christ and proclaiming His name, and if she died for it, so be it.

But what of me? I can witness on a street corner, in a coffee shop, or in an elevator, and I won't be sent to the lion's den for it. But do I?

Sometimes, I think our many blessings blind us if we aren't careful. Lately, I have been convicted about a couple of things: what I own, and what I watch. Ultimately, what I own is not mine, but God's. So how much "stuff" that I have... how much of that glorifies God? Second, what I watch affects what goes into my mind, and what I think on. How much of the things that I watch... how much of that glorifies God? How much of it teaches me, edifies me, builds me up, and is pure and lovely?

A lot to think about after 2 books from that series.

So I must say... my uncertainty in reading this series was definitely unwarranted. Thank you, Kristi, for your suggestion!

Love you all!

T

Do you believe in Santa?

2010-12-23T18:00:00.005-06:00

Everywhere you go, places are covered in Christmas. Sparkly decor, swaying ornaments, cinnamon scents, and melodic carols all flood your senses. It has been this way for over a month.

In three days, it will all be over. Christmas trees will come down. Ornaments will be wrapped carefully in bubble wrap and stored in boxes until next year. Twinkle lights won't twinkle anymore, holiday cookies and treats will be fully digested, and gift wrap will be 50% off at Walmart.

I find it interesting how society prepares for Christmas so far in advance, and in such a big way... the anticipation leading up this holiday every year is huge.

And then it's over.

Just like anything else in life you plan for... a party, a wedding, or a big event... it all eventually comes to a head. Yet with Christmas preparations, planning, and celebrating, I feel like a lot of it centers around Santa and gifts.

I realized this year that I never believed in Santa. I just never did. I was the 4th of 4 kids, and by then, the magic of playing up a pretend holiday character must not have appealed to my parents any longer. My mom promises that she talked about him and gave us each a present from "Santa" every year. And she probably did. But at the end of the day, my parents are the ones who received my Christmas list... not Santa. And my parents are the ones who bought me those gifts and gave them to me, I knew... not Santa. And the idea of Santa traveling all the way around the world and delivering gifts to me on Christmas Eve never seemed realistic to me. Not to mention, it was always my family's tradition to open gifts with each other on Christmas Eve. So that killed the whole "Santa" theory for me, anyway.

Believing in a fictional character like that must have never appealed to me. And the funny thing is, I am probably the most idealistic romantic out of the whole family. Out of anyone, I'm the one who is lost in thought, dreaming up something new, or 1,000 miles away in another world a lot of the time. So it's interesting that I never entertained the idea of Santa.

I'm not really heartbroken over this, either. I think Santa is great and all, but he's not my idea of quality time spent entertaining a child's imagination over. I'd much rather spend my kid's time talking about the real reason for Christmas, and Someone who IS real.

I'm not condemning belief in Santa. Trust me, I'm not. I think he's great.

From a Christian standpoint, though, I like to more so focus on Baby Jesus. Baby Jesus is born, eventually grows up, and teaches the world about sacrificial Love, displaying the ultimate example of it on the cross to save us from sins. This is our one true gift, the only gift we really need to find peace in life. No amount of Christmas presents from Santa will bring the sort of joy we can obtain by accepting the one Christ has to offer. Furthermore, Christmas is a great time to practice this sort of love... selfless, sacrificial love. God sent Jesus as our (ultimate) gift... how can we "gift" this love and joy to others during the season?

My Christmas season has been quite busy. My sister and her husband and 5 children moved into their new home within this past week. I helped baby-sit a couple of the days. Their new house is beautiful and will be perfect for their family that has done much growing over the past several years. Also this week, my "girl" friends and I had a great evening together eating Italian at a small local Italian restaurant, followed up by heart-to-hearts and dancing with "Just Dance II" on the Wii. Last night was our annual Kaiser extended family Christmas. We rented out the soccer forum, and it worked great for all the little kids to run around. Better that then someone's house. :)

I'm thankful for all these things and looking forward to a wonderful Christmas celebration with my family on Christmas day!

The pictures, although out of order, will help illustrate. :)

Silas, exhausted after a day of eating and watching Dora

Milo has the biggest blue eyes

All the girls

Around 2 pm, Silas and I were hungry for a snack so we each had a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios

The boys playing soccer at the Soccer Forum. My brother Tate has not lost his touch!

Just Dance II. Not sure what this move was.

Concentration

Sweet moment-- Sylvie and her dad

Kelly and I

Parachute!

My Grandma K. saying hi to Milo

Kaiser Clan

Naomi painted me a flower.

Popsicle Sharing

Love you all! T

Hankie Curtains

2010-12-19T21:20:00.002-06:00

One day, I walked into my bathroom and noted something was different. Hanging from my large window were several vintage hankies that had been sewn together into a curtain. My mom loves to sew, and has her very own unique line of clothing and accessories that she labels "Sutsie Pie." She always incorporates vintage hankies into anything she makes; purses, baby blankets, baby clothes, and shirts.

Anyway, picture below are the curtains that now hang in my bathroom. I love them, and am so fortunate to have such a creative mom!

Cereal

2010-12-17T21:14:00.003-06:00

I have been thinking about writing a blog post on cereal all day long.

Pictured is one of my FAVORITE sugar cereals, one in which I often eat before going to bed if my stomach is hungry. Snap, Crackle, and Pop posed long enough for me to get this image; although, one of the poor guys didn't quite make it into the picture.

It started this morning. I was enjoying a bowl of Crispex for breakfast, and I had to marvel at the act of eating this particular food. It is not just eating, you see. It is drinking, as well. It is one of the few meals that you both eat and drink at the same time. But I can't take credit for that observation. I first heard this thought from Jerry Seinfeld.

Along those lines, I began to think of how I eat cereal. I take a bite, and then right away I swallow the milk, while the cereal lingers. I crunch the remaining cereal, then swallow it. I found myself wondering if some people swallow both the cereal and milk at the same time. It would be very hard to do the opposite; swallow the crunch first, and the milk last. Although that method would make the most sense; it's like a drink that washes it all down. The next time you eat cereal, you will have to determine your eating style.

Then I thought: Who even came up with cereal? For real. It is actually a bit odd, if you think about it too long. It's like when you say a perfectly normal word 70 times in a row, and then suddenly that word that you are very familiar with becomes strangely peculiar. It starts to sound funny, and all at once you don't feel acquainted with it anymore. Really-- it's a bunch of little crunchy bites, either full of fiber, sugar, carbs, or a combination of all three... and then you pour milk over it. MILK. The crunchies float in milk, and over time the pieces at the bottom start to become soggy, but if you're lucky, some of the pieces retain a sense of crispness the whole time. But I want to know, whose idea was it to manufacture all different kinds of cereals so that we could pour it into a bowl and then top it off with milk?

I'm not complaining. I'm grateful, rather. Cereal is one of my top choices in breakfast and my all-time favorite bedtime snack. I guess I'm just a little bitter that I didn't think of it first. Then I could have been crowned with inventing a food that you both eat and drink at the same time.

Oh well. I will just sit contently with my passion in photography, and continue to enjoy cereal as a breakfast item and snack.

Love you all!

Church Note #3

2010-12-12T15:35:00.006-06:00

It's a blizzard out there today!

It didn't stop Morton from holding church services, though. We're pretty tough here in Morton. We had a few overflows from Washington, Peoria, and Gridley attending, and a lovely Christmas program this afternoon.

Anyway, I was thinking it has been awhile since I have written a church notes post. So here it is...

Not My Will

We received a handout with this service that included an outline that was adapted from a devotional written by Andrew Murray in the 1800s... just to give credit were credit is due. This was a very extensive outline, so instead of rehashing the entire thing, I will pick out a few points and keep it at that. :)

Doing God's Will-The Way to Heaven

"Not everyone that saith unto me, Lord, Lord shall enter into the kingdom of Heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven." -Matt. 7:21

First and foremost, doing God's will is of utmost importance. We might ask-- what is God's will? That's our very problem. God would will that we repent, give our lives to Him, and then follow Him all of our days. This may not always entail knowing how God wants every situation to work out, but that is where trust comes in. Clay cannot ask the potter to be something different or request to see the end product. Clay must simply be molded, and clay has enough softness and give to allow shaping and refining to occur. We must be clay in God's hands.

Some may know who God is, may recognize Him, may have heard about Him all their life, and may even say they believe in Him. But if we haven't recognized our sinful nature, repented for our sins, and committed our life to Christ, we aren't getting a spot in Heaven. I have a feeling that there are a lot of deceived, misinformed, so-called "Christians" who will one day be very disappointed that they refused to fully understand Christ's cross and His gift of salvation.

Praying-- According to God's Will

"And this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He heareth us." -1 John 5:14

Sometimes, we ask for things we don't need, or for situations that are not good for us. Often, we have no way of knowing this-- and at times, we do, but we want what we want. The key to this verse is that we "ask anything according to His will." How do we do that?

There is no better way to fall into alignment with God's will than by studying His word, deepening your knowledge of God and depth of insight. If you are tuned into God, you will ask for things that are godly, things that please God. If you are tuned into the world, yourself, and others, you will ask for things that are self-focused.

What is more important-- my desire, or God's will? Learn to accept His will as your supreme joy. If any man shall do His will, He shall know His doctrine. He also must believe. Faith and knowledge are both needful.

Suffering-- According to the Will of God

"For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well-doing, than for evil-doing." -1 Peter 3:17

Even when we do what is right, we may still suffer for it.

That's the kicker. When we do what is right and are punished for it, it is human to want justice. It may be easy to throw up our hands and say, "Fine! I tried to be nice but it doesn't make a difference... I may as well be angry or retaliate." Is that what Jesus did? When he walked by with His cross and people spat on Him, did He spit back? When He was beat from head to toe, did He beat them back? When He hung up on the cross, did He say, "I can't believe I am going through this for a bunch of people who hate me?" No. He said, "Forgive them-- they don't know what they're doing."

Before it all happened, Jesus asked for the cup to be removed-- but for it to proceed if it was the Father's will. And it was. We need to have that same attitude and realization. We may be able to look ahead in our lives and see suffering on the way-- big suffering, suffering that may look like too much to bear. But if it's God's will, and for His glory... which often, it is... we must be willing to accept.

I have been learning lately that just because I act Christ-like or respond in a Christ-like manner to adversity or anger, it does not mean that the other side of that will suddenly fully accept me with open arms. In fact, it may be the cause for further rejection, persecution, or struggle. Being a Christian, when it comes down to it, is not always the most popular label, and Christ himself said we would suffer for His sake.

Remember this during suffering...

I am here by God's will- exactly as He planned.

God will give me grace to conduct myself right.

God will teach me why He brought me here (to refine).

God is also capable of bringing me out of this.

Another point that was brought out during this sermon were the following thoughts:

So often, when we see others, we see them through our own eyes: who he is, what he does, and what he deserves. We need to see all people through God's love.

What if we turn those judgments/thoughts back on ourself? Who am I, what do I do, and what do I deserve? In the end, I deserve Hell... as does everyone else. No job, no personality, no beauty, no social status, no popularity will ever save a person or make him more likely to enter Heaven over another. We are all offered the same gift of Love-- and why would we not want every soul to accept? As Christians, we must see others through Christ's love and not through human eyes. A human sizes up a person and puts him into a box. God sees a soul worth saving, worth sending His only son to die for.

Love you all!

Holiday

2010-12-07T22:23:00.005-06:00

I know I promised a return with depth and insight, but instead I am trading for a pictorial update. I am always good for one of those. The past few weeks have brought about a Thanksgiving celebration as well as Christmas decorating.

Before we look at pictures, I have to talk about the weather here for a minute. Illinois has officially turned into Alaska. It's about 12 degrees out most nights. Whenever I go outside (which usually only consists of traveling on foot from my car to whichever warm building is my destination), one thought is always running through my head: Is this necessary? It is SO incredibly cold. But then, we have to be subjected to these polar temperatures before we can truly appreciate the beautiful mild Spring time, the lush green (and humid) Summers, and the bright and crisp Fall season. Right? (That's what I tell myself).

And who doesn't love snow?

I am not sure why I always end up talking about the weather. When I was younger (grade school age), I used to eat my breakfast at the kitchen table while reading the Weather section of the newspaper. I would always check out the high and the low for the day, the average temperature, the record highs and lows, and the temperature in Phoenix. I had a secret goal to become a meteorologist someday. Some dreams never do quite come true, but having the liberty to do frequent weather reports on my blog is right up there with being an actual meteorologist.

Onto those visuals...

Thanksgiving Feast-- fully equipped with BBQ turkey, the best way to eat it!

Sisters

This is how Silas feels about green beans. Actually, I think he does like them.

He's just a boy of many faces.

Applesauce Puffs-- the world's greatest cinnamon treat

Some fresh fruit to offset all of the other empty calories

Classic Tillie

Christmas Decor arrives! My mom's dining room table. This year's theme is silver and sparkle.

I can't help it

The wire tree

Banister decor

Just one of many sparkly ornaments on my mom's tall tree

The miniature tree in my bedroom

Door wreath

It's been a pleasure! I'll be back soon. Ideally, I'll be back on some snowy afternoon, and I'll be all curled up by the fireplace inside listening to Christmas music and sipping a warm cocoa topped with whipped cream, and I'll type my blog entry from the laptop warming my lap.

Ideally.

Love you all! T

The Tree is Up

2010-12-01T23:24:00.003-06:00

Has it really been 16 days? Time flies when you're busy. Actually, time flies no matter what. That is my conclusion.

Winter is officially here. The past several days have been swathed in blustery gray, bitter wind, and intermittent flurries. I just talked to my cousin today who lives in Arizona-- it was 70 degrees and sunny there. I have often thought that I lived in the wrong state.

Although, I do enjoy the seasons. Or at least the idea of them. It goes along w/my personality. I get bored of "the same" too quickly, so variety is always advantageous. Yet, every winter, I find myself wanting to scream every time an icy wind pierces my face and halts my ability to breathe.

Along with winter comes the flu, and it has seemingly traveled through most of my family (and family units), starting the week of Thanksgiving. Somehow, I have dodged the illness. Either that, or I had it a month ago. Or maybe I just take too many probiotics, I don't know. At any rate, I am still wiping off everything I touch with disinfecting wipes and sanitizing my hands before I eat anything. Funny that we step that habit up during flu season when in reality, that is how we should always live?

In other news, the Kaiser household Christmas tree is now up. My parents and I always reserve the day after Thanksgiving for Christmas decorating at our house. We used to go chop down a live tree, but the past several years we have set up our "fake" (but still pretty), very tall tree. It sits in the addition of our house, and sparkles in the window... most can see it from the 4-way stop.

So while most are out running from store to store, getting their Black Friday bargains, we are at home listening to Christmas music and winding twinkle lights around our banister, adding sparkly ornaments to our tree, and sprinkling glittery figurines on our mantle. Except this particular Friday, right as we were starting to decorate our tree (our first project for the day), we received a phone call from my sister's house. It was her husband, telling us she was hit pretty hard with the flu, and needed someone to take her to the hospital. He couldn't do it because they had 2 other sick children at home.

Don't be alarmed; this is simply protocol for my sister. Several years back, she had the flu so terribly that by the time she got to the hospital, she was in awful condition. Ever since, when she gets sick, her body dehydrates very quickly so a hospital visit and several bags of fluid are usually needed. We are always very careful in our family to be proactive in this, so this was simply one of those times in which we needed to do so.

My mom spent the better part of her day in the hospital with her, while I stood on top of a ladder and decorated the tree all by myself. I actually quite enjoyed myself. I really like doing projects by myself, especially if it's something that is creative and low-stress. I like to move at my own pace (which is usually quickly) and I have fun in the independence of it all. Don't get me wrong; I love to be with people. And honestly, it was sad my mom and I couldn't share in our tradition together this day. Yet in the end, helping each other is what family is for, and that is exactly what my mom was doing... even if it was at a hospital.

I'll be back soon with something more inspirational. Was a bit tired and hungry tonight, so light-hearted updates always come more easily :) Love you all!

A Nice Run

2010-11-15T20:57:00.003-06:00

My posts have been a bit more pensive lately so tonight I come to you light-hearted. It's been awhile so I thought I'd say a few things.

I am not a runner. By any means. But the other night, I felt like running... and then I didn't. This evening, I had the same urge. The only problem is that my night was busy until about 8:30. But when that time rolled around, I drove home, ran up to my bedroom, threw on my sweats, and was out the door.

I can't really describe it, but this feeling of urgency is inside of me and I feel like if I don't go run a mile, I might burst. So I did. I drove up to the local high school, where at least 2 different events were going on, and I circled the parking lot for a spot. Once I found one, I locked up, grabbed my ear phones, and headed to the track which was situated in the dark of the night.

I started to run. Lap 1 felt great. Lap 2 felt even better. Every gulp of air was fresh. Lap 3 started to wear me down, and by Lap 4, I was starting to tire. I called it quits at a mile and huffed and puffed to my car. My time was not anything to be proud of; in fact, I was mildly disappointed. But in the end, my goal was accomplished: I ran.

Like I said, I am no runner. It is not something I do on a regular basis. However, on nights like tonight, I become a different person with this spirit of energy and there is no stopping me!

Other than my run session tonight, I will report that my life lately has been pretty normal. Kristi and I helped celebrate Holidazzle this weekend by having our doors open Friday night and Saturday during the day. It was nice to get some visitors! I love the small-town feel that this event gives our town, and it makes me feel warm inside when our community gets together like this to celebrate the upcoming holidays.

I feel like I have slowed down from "very busy" to just "busy." This is great news!

My favorite day lately has been Sunday, for many reasons. Every once in awhile, when I'm scheduled, I get to go to the jail early in the morning and help lead women's church. I am also a part of an adult Sunday school class during morning service, in which we are currently learning about our spiritual gifts. Then comes lunch and fellowship. I always forget, and then am pleasantly surprised when I remember that we now sing in front of the church before afternoon service. It's mostly for the younger kids but anyone is welcome, so I always stand up and sing! I love love love it.

After church, I usually catch up on work around the house, read a book, work on projects, or just relax. My parents and I almost always grab dinner together, or we go out w/the family, and then we usually rent a movie. Last night, we watched Legendary. It was about a boy who gets into wrestling and through it, draws his family back together. Sounds sentimental, I know, but it was actually really good and had a very good plot. The cover read, "Is more inspirational than 'The Blind Side!" I don't know if I'd go that far, but it was good.

I have also been really into reading lately. I love to read. My favorite author right now is Jodi Picoult. She is not a Christian author but writes about very interesting things-- mostly controversial issues. She really gets you thinking. I don't always agree w/what is said but she does a good job of writing from a lot of different perspective and viewpoints, and on top of which, she's just a really intriguing and interesting writer. I have had trouble reading anything other than Jodi Picoult lately, but my book consultant (my friend's mom who lets me borrow all her books!) recently gave me some other books, so I am taking a break and reading "The Christmas Box."

Well... I should wrap it up before I keep babbling on. Speaking of wraps, I had an Aisia Chicken Crunchy Wrap tonight for dinner, but it's just not cutting it after that run so I might need to go make a smoothie before work. I best be off! Love you all!

On Time

2010-11-04T23:45:00.003-05:00

In an unexpected and touching e-mail I received from a family friend over a year ago, she had written to me, "Taryn, time slows for no one."

That phrase has often repeated over and over in my mind. I can hear her speaking the words, and every time I do, I realize I have lost even more time.

I have been feeling rather old lately. I know that when I put it all into perspective, I am really not that old. Whenever I make this proclamation, those in their 30s, 40s, and 50s quickly tell me, "You're still SO young!"

But that's what they told me 3 years ago.

How long until I don't qualify for that category anymore?

The other night, I was talking to my mom about my upcoming birthday.

"I'll be 25," I told her.

"No you will not," she replied, "You're going to be 24."

"Actually, I'm going to be 25," I told her again.

I could see the calculations going on her head. Needless to say, I most likely inherited my math skills (or lack thereof) from her. She finally agreed with me. By then, I had already reminded myself that this puts me at a quarter-of-a-century in age.

Sometimes I feel like I am trapped inside of an hour glass, staring out at everyone else around me. For others, time seems to march right on in logical order. Friends get married, have children, move on. Parents age, nieces & nephews grow taller and try out for basketball. And I stand inside the glass, watching it all go on, seemingly trapped in my life that stays still. Day in and day out, I change not, while everyone else marches on to the appropriate part of their life.

Perhaps those thoughts are just an eloquent way of justifying why my life did not necessarily pan out the exact way that I had planned. Yet I am blessed beyond measure all the same. Or maybe the time that passes just gets me panicked. No one lives forever. Every year changes a person.

I was looking through old photo albums recently. Oh, have times changed, and will continue to change.

I found myself looking at pictures of my parents in their youth. Back when I was 4 years old, they were in their mid thirties. The same age group that my older siblings are now in. I found myself staring at my sister wearing a then-trendy 80's outfit, and suddenly I was asking the question out loud, "Are we going to look back at the clothes we wear now and think we looked good?"

I didn't want to hear the answer.

But that's part of what time does.

My friend was telling me about someone who took a picture of himself every day in the same position for a year. When looking at all the pictures next to each other, you could see an evident process of aging over that year. Probably not a notable difference to just anyone who sees someone frequently, but in small, comparable increments the change was noticeable.

We are all aging whether we like it or not. In fact, by the time you get through this post, you will be just a bit older. (Perhaps just as much due to the fact that I'm wordy and this post is longer than it needs to be, in addition to the inevitable process of time).

My comfort in all of this analysis is that fortunately, my trust lies in the One who never does change. I can go from 2 to 25 to 100, and God is still the same.

Thankfully, no matter how much time and age changes a person, it will never change God. His promises will endure, and His Word is always Truth. He is faithful to the end. Over time, God gives life, and He takes it away.

And in His time, He unfolds the best.

I read this quote in one of my bible study books the other day, and really loved it:

"God may not move according to our schedule, but He is right on time for what is best."

Love you all! T

Another Cure for the Hiccups

2010-10-29T16:25:00.002-05:00

"I have the hiccups," Kristi told me, stating the obvious, "And I can't get rid of them."

It was another typical work day at IA. I was sitting in my office, and I heard the front door to our studio open. Kristi sits up front, so she usually helps customers. I often try to listen to see who is there through the walls of my office in case I am needed with the customer who has come.

I am straining to hear who it is... and I hear a shriek.

A shriek of delight.

I stand up from my chair and walk out into the hallway. As I turn the corner, I am immediately greeted by an enormous smile and an embrace that just about knocks me off my feet.

"You two are AWESOME," I hear, as one of our most enthusiastic brides pulls away from our hug. "Everyone LOVES the pictures."

"Good, we're so glad!" Kristi and I agree in unison.

After another quick hug for me, she turns to Kristi. It's her turn.

Kristi is enveloped in a bear hug that lasts somewhere around 25 seconds. Knowing that this is not the most comfortable situation for Kristi, I smiled at her from the other side. She often tells me, "I don't like to be touched," and I'm not too far behind her with not ever really initiating physical contact or returning it enthusiastically unless I am so moved. Fortunately, today was a day that I was moved.

We walk her through the studio, as it is the first time she has seen our new place. After scheduling a time to come in and have her order session, we stand and talk for a few minutes.

This girl has to be one of our most vivacious, animated brides, and is definitely a beautiful individual inside and out.

"We were so thankful that the two of you are Believers," she told us, "It was so important to us. It just gave me such a sense of peace during the whole process. I knew what to expect, which is honesty and integrity; you don't see that in business as much today."

After she left, Kristi grabbed me and pulled me aside.

"My hiccups are gone," she stated. "I think she scared them out of me."

I've heard of the finger touch, peanut butter, and taking 3 deep breaths in a row to cure hiccups, but never a bear hug.

Anyway, I thought about what had been said. Lately, it has been making an impression on me how important it is to be a believing partnership in this business. Going into business is no easy task, especially when it is with someone as close as your best friend. There are ups and downs, for sure. But during the down times, it would be really easy to lose faith and handle situations a lot differently if we weren't unified in Christ.

I'll have to use the age-old analogy that having a business partner is like a marriage and say this: It's like comparing a Christian marriage to a non-Christian one. Both will have joys, sorrows, celebrations, and trials. But in the end, the relationship and endeavor that prospers is the one grounded in Christ, the one committed to Him and furthering His kingdom. And in this way, a business endeavor can be more than just a job... it can be a pursuit in spreading the Word through what you do.

Love you all!

T

Church Note #2

2010-10-26T17:52:00.002-05:00

Today will be short and sweet, because I do not have much time.

Tonight's Note:

July 21, 2010

Love is foundational.

What comes to mind when you hear the word "love?" That's right, 1 Corinthians 13. That is what we read. Bottom line of the chapter: If love isn't there, the rest won't last. And the rest doesn't matter!

This is all really quite serious. You could essentially give up your entire life and everything in it, but if it is not done in the name of Christ's love, then it's worthless. Vain. Meaningless.

It's easy to look at this chapter and think, "Oh, well, that just applies to the big sinners out there. Those that steal, murder, lie, and cheat. Or to those who just think that living a "good" life will get them to Heaven."

And well, it does. But it also applies to the Christian who knows something to be good, and doesn't do it. Or the Christian who does something good, but for all the wrong reasons. Or the Christian who poses, pretends, and completes tasks more out of obligation and duty than our of service and love. It's dangerous ground when we get so used to "being a Christian" that we forget that being a Christian means to love... at all times. And to love, everyone. We may not always like people. But we must love them. Because as a soul, any person's salvation is worth just as much as yours.

Don't do things in order to get something in return. Do it out of love.

Love does not keep score. Love forgives seventy times seven times without enabling or rescuing, but with mercy. Love is not proud.

Do you want to know the most important thing about love? God is love.

When we do things out of love, we don't expect the favor returned. Our motive is not for reward or gain, but our motive is for furthering Christ's Kingdom.

This is not a natural human trait. To wake up every morning and perform every action that day out of love does not come easily. After all, if God = Love, we are far from God, and while we strive to be like Christ, the striving is there because we aren't that way in the first place. We do good to remember who we are and who God is, and in that way, we realize that without God's grace and God's help, we are nowhere.

Love is foundational. Why? Because without it, nothing else matters.

Love you all... T

Church Note #1

2010-10-21T20:02:00.007-05:00

First, I will start with some fun Fall pictures. We recently had a family cookout in the park. It was a beautiful afternoon... one of the last mildly warm days we might see in quite some time. Enjoy the pictures, and then I'm going to start something new.

Ollie and me

Lola Mae... a few tears

Beau's marshmallow... golden

Typical Naomi

More S'more Making

5 on a slide!

Tillie swinging

The crazy part about this is that I remember going down this slide when I was her age. Does that make me old?

Oh Sylvia.

Swinging high!

Over the past several months, whenever I attend a church service or bible study, I have been diligent about taking notes. The reason being is largely in part to the way I learn; I learn best visually. If I record a thought on paper and then revisit it later, it does two things: 1) refreshes my memory and 2) gives me a visual cue as to why the thought stuck out to me.

So... I keep this blank paper pad in my Bible and it goes with me everywhere. As I fill up pieces of paper, I paperclip them together and keep the notes with one another. Periodically, I'll thumb through them and be reminded of an excellent thought or wonderful Truth from the Word. Recently, I concluded that I should do more than just review; I should share what I learn.

As often as it moves me, I will blog about a few notes on these papers. I'll probably choose them randomly, because, well, I like to be random.

Tonight's Note:

July 14, 2010

"God specializes in problems to reveal His power and Love."

I remember now that the minister stood up and shared this thought at the beginning of his message. It was very powerful. So often as Christians, we wonder, "Why?" and the cliche question, "How could a loving God allow this?"

The answer is in the quote above. It is IN these problems and these times of trial that God's power and love come forth and His glory is revealed. I don't think God purposely strikes people dead to prove a point, but then again, He could if He wanted to. And it's in scenarios like that... the ones that catch us off guard, make us rub our chins, and wonder what the purpose is... it's in those times that the only thing left to do is to turn to God. And if Christ is in our hearts, He will deliver in a bigger way than we could ever imagine.

The wrap-up of this message was shared by another minister with this:

The Gospel in 3 words:

Faith

Forgiveness

Future

First it takes faith in God. When that is established, we recognize Jesus' death on the cross as payment for our sins, and we reap the peace of God's forgiveness. Lastly, we have a future of living for Christ and hope of eternity in our lives because of the gift we've been given.

A great summary of the Truth! Are we sharing it?

Love you all!

Need to Breathe

2010-10-07T23:58:00.004-05:00

Well, here I am. Should probably be sleeping. Unfortunately, the hours of 8pm-1am seem to be my most productive. Possibly because no one is bugging me. No one calls at this hour; no one stops over to talk, no meal times. It's great. Just 5 solid hours of work time.

I get distracted really easily. For those who know me well, this is nothing new. If there is such a thing as early onset of Alzheimer's, there is a chance that I qualify. For example, the other morning I was standing in my bedroom and I had a really good idea. I finished what I was doing (which took about 10 seconds) and as I turned on my heel to head into the direction of my good idea, I totally forgot what it is I wanted to do. That quick. It was gone. It wasn't until I was driving to work about 30 minutes later that I remembered what it was. Something in my brain triggered the remembrance. So I guess the good news is that my long-term memory is fully intact. Somewhere along the line, the information gets stored in my brain. It's just not very retrievable on-demand. It takes awhile to shift to the forefront. Crazy.

So anyway, all that to say that the reason I'm certainly most productive when the sun goes down is because there are minimal distractions. Which is a good thing. Being alone with myself is enough of a distraction... my mind is usually already going in several different directions at once. So to add other people and their interruptions or thoughts only throws me off track even more.

The reason I came to the writing board tonight is because I actually have something I'd like to share. I heard it at a Wednesday night service a couple weeks ago and thought it was a real good thought. Here it is...

It's a story about a young man who was walking with an older man. As they were walking along in the woods, the younger man asked the older man, "How have you stayed so faithful to God all your life, and with such a good attitude? How do you do it?"

The older man did not answer but took the younger man to a creek. Once there, he answered by dunking the younger man under the water. At first, it wasn't a big deal but after awhile, the younger man started to fight back. He was panicking, and felt the need to come up for air, but he couldn't escape the older man's grasp. He was drowning.

At just the right time, the older man let go and the younger man burst out of the water, gasping for air.

"How did you feel?" the older man asked.

"Like I needed air," the younger man sputtered.

"That's how I do it," the older man replied. "In the same desperate way you needed air to breathe, I desperately needed Christ to live each and every day."

Love you all!

A Testimony: You Never Know What You're Going to Get!

2010-09-29T21:39:00.004-05:00

*I share the following testimony with the prayer that God will touch other hearts, no matter what hardship or struggle others may be going through. I love it that the Lord can turn the bad into good, and work the worst out for the best. During any dismal trial, when we truly have the Spirit of God in us, we have the powerful ability to comfort others who are struggling with the comfort with which we have been given by the Spirit. A terrific promise from our Lord.*

Steak is good, but it's even better when you season it.

This may be a poor analogy, but it works as a lead-in... last year at this time, God was in the process of seasoning my Christian walk. Hardships, difficulties, and emotional times often seem horrific in the midst, but when we are willing to learn, God is so willing to teach us.

At the time, my head knowledge was on key... I knew the Truth. Yet my heart was so wrapped up in emotions that were contrary to what was unfolding that I was blind to my own good advice and prayers. And to that of others.

It's interesting to look back now with a clear head and heart. I can see how God worked out a bleary situation for amazing glory and good. He took the one thing that I always wanted and desired, and He allowed me to see it as temporarily available. When a bigger issue came up, it crushed me. What I finally thought could be, and would be... was just as quickly snatched away.

But I would not let go so fast. I held on as long as possible.

Just yesterday, I read a quote that is so fitting to what my situation was:

‎"Hold everything in your hands lightly, otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open." -Corrie ten Boom

After working through the worst of it, I slowly but surely started to heal. In one of the biggest surrenders of my life, I handed the broken pieces of my heart back to God so He could mend it back together.

Over the course of a year, He has done just that. When I am weak, then He is strong... a wonderful promise from God, and one I have come to know dearly and personally. What I have today is a heart stronger than it was last year, and more seasoned with the experience of Faith. What I have is an amazing testimony of how God worked in my life... in a very unlikely way... to reveal unto me where I belong. For example: I feel more involved in my church now than ever before, and my desire to be there and connect with the body is so strong. At a time in my life that could be difficult and painful, I am met with contentment and joy by God's good grace.

He has taught me that attitude is everything. When I dwell only on myself and what I want and think I deserve-- even if those things happen to be good or "for His glory" in my mind-- then I become even more unhappy when those things aren't delivered. But if I focus solely on what HE wants for my life, then I have nothing but joy to cling onto as I see Him work and unfold miracles in front of me.

Like the famous line, "Life is like a box of chocolates- you never know what you're going to get," at times, so are God's ways. Despite our best efforts, intuitions, and insight, we can't always predict God. So we're better off letting Him handle the results because the minute we think we deserve a chocolate-covered cherry, He gives us one with caramel instead, and we end up discouraged.

I don't think expectations and desires are always bad. But only looking at the "wants" and "haves and have nots" of life is a recipe for disappointment. Our job is to ask God how we can show Him the most glory and to be open to His guiding. Yet that requires complete surrender... even when He says, "No."

Because it's in the times that He withholds something good from us that He has something even better to reveal.

Love you all. T

The Man I Never Met

2010-09-23T22:03:00.003-05:00

Some say he had terrific arm strength. Just today, a man who owns a horse farm looked me in the eye and said, "He was a very nice man. Everyone who knew him, loved him."

Also reported was that he could walk on his hands like nobody else; he could even climb stairs that way.

I never knew him. Never even got to meet him. He died of a sudden heart attack 6 years before I was born.

Sometimes, I wish I could have the chance to talk to him. Or see him. What did he look like? I hear that he liked to tease... but that he could also be quite serious. That he was quiet, but when he did talk, you listened.

I love to hear the story about what happened shortly before he died. He was a farmer, and he was out in the field. And suddenly, his dad, who had been deceased for quite some time, was there with him, sitting beside him.

They talked.

"You've had a good life," his father told him.

He lives on in so many other people, but now it's been so long that I am not sure what part is his legacy. All that I know is that somehow, part of him still lives out in me.

Someday, when I get to Heaven, I'll get to meet my Grandpa.

Love you all-T

Don't Rain on my Parade

2010-09-19T21:54:00.007-05:00

My goals were accomplished.

1) Eat an Elephant Ear.

Pictured. It was placed into my hand dripping in grease, so I looked the other direction and pretended not to see it until I had the cinnamon sugar in my hand. Then I shook vigorously... for a very long time. Until the elephant ear was covered, or until I heard Kristi say, "How much cinnamon are you going to put on that?" I don't remember which came first.

I deducted how much of this treat would keep me up all night with a stomach ache and then backed it off a few bites. Once I reached that point, I handed the rest off to Noah and Silas, my two nephews of ages 9 and 2. They were thrilled to finish it off for me.

2) Drink a Lemonade Shake-Up.

Confession: This picture was staged. The lemonade shake-up cup in my hand was not actually mine. However, I did drink one... I just failed to photograph it at the time. I will say, though, that it was truly a good experience. Most sips consisted of 80 parts sugar and 10 parts lemon and 10 parts water, making for 100% satisfaction.

3) Eat a Meal in the Food Tent.

This actually happened on the very first night! Who would have thought. Kristi and I finished up at IA around 7:15, then headed to the food tent for dinner. On the menu for me... the usual: a pork chop, nachos & cheese, pumpkin pie, and a pop. All the must-haves. I must comment on the new system put into action this year by the food tent; it is very efficient! Kudos.

4) Ride the Ferris Wheel.

This is how this went down:
5:30pm on Saturday night...
Kristi: Finally, we're done.
Taryn: Yes, believe it or not, I am about PFested out. Wait...
Kristi: What?
Taryn: I didn't go on the Ferris Wheel.
Taryn is about to shrug it off when Kristi says: You have to go!
With her mind made up, we head towards the festival.
Kristi: Who will you go with?
Taryn: Myself.
Kristi: You are going to go on the Ferris Wheel by yourself?
Taryn: Yes. I kind of like going by myself.
Kristi: You are strange.
Taryn purchases a ticket for $2.50 and gets in line.
Taryn boards the Ferris Wheel.
Kristi takes pictures with the little pink camera.

Goal #4: check.

5) Attend the Parade.
On Saturday morning, the usual crowd gathers at my Grandma's house on Jefferson St. She has always had the perfect location for the parade-viewing party. Wonderful food is brought by everyone who comes, including but not limited to hot dogs, cheese dip, donuts, cookies, and sweets.

Rumors of rain was in the air, but those in denial kept shrugging it off.

"It will slip right by us," some said.
"I think we're on the edge of the system," others predicted.
"It won't rain. Last night, there was only a 40% chance!"

However, right before coming to the parade, my dad said, "We should be prepared for rain. The storm is supposed to hit right when the parade starts."

If there's anyone who knows when to expect the first rain drop, it's Fred Kaiser. He watches the radar as if he himself is responsible for predicting what it will do.

So.

It's 15 minutes before the parade is to start. Kids are restless and excited, running around with little Pumpkin-shaped candy-collectors in their hands. Adults are standing in the lawn and along the edge of the street, talking amongst one another while enjoying a hot dog or cookie. My grandma is perched up on her normal spot on the porch, and had already proclaimed, "I'm ready for whatever it is that I'm supposed to be watching."

Yet as I peer down the length of the street, it seems to me as though all of the hundreds of other spectators standing around, anticipating the parade, are in denial of the storm clouds rolling in. Uneasily, I look to my left. Up above, the clouds are getting darker. Leaves have started to fall rapidly from the trees as the wind has picked up, and a bite is now apparent in the air.

I look to the person I am standing by and remark, "This is the point in a movie or book when you sense imminent danger."

"Yes," he agrees, "All that is missing is the eerie music."

The parade does begin. I sit on a lawn chair close to the curb, trying to enjoy my hot dog while gusts of wind blow at my face and it begins to drizzle.

Umbrellas pop up all around me, and I still attempt to eat the food on my plate as my mood grows darker along with the weather. This does not look good.

The first band to march by suddenly takes a sharp right and turns down a side street. That's not on the parade route.

But neither was the gusts of wind and downpour of rain that has now seemed to take over. Thunder sounds in the distance, and no one can mistake the faint flashing of lightning in the sky.

Not 5 minutes later, about 12-15 families are huddled in my Grandma's garage and household, where the food is now.

"The parade has been suspended," comes the announcement.

Suspended, which comes to mean, canceled.

Pumpkin Festival 2010 did not see much of a parade.

As the sad truth dawned on most of us, I noticed a small child that was crying, clutching his little empty candy bag.

Call me crazy, but at 24 years old, I wanted to do the same thing. I was mildly heartbroken.

All your life, you hear phrases like, "Starving kids in Africa" and "Don't Rain on my Parade." Until you can experience them personally, they are just a grouping of words to be tossed out when the situation seems to fit.

However, as a lot of you know, I traveled to Africa this past year and saw, firsthand, what starving kids in Africa looked like. And to me, that's not just a phrase anymore. It's real.

Much less serious but still just as true, sometimes, rain DOES occur during a parade. And at that point, it ruins it. So when someone says, "Don't rain on my parade," what it really means is, "Don't ruin this planned event that happens to be special to me."

I can't control hunger, the weather, or create world peace, but this I know: I don't like it when it rains on my parade.

6) Run the 2-mile Fun Run/Walk.

This was an added goal. It was something I was tossing around and decided to do, so since it was accomplished I will add it. My dad, brother-in-law, and 8-year-old nephew, Domniq, signed up to run the 2-mile fun run. About 2 days into the Pumpkin Festival, I decided to take my chances and do it, too. Why not?

My brother-in-law happens to be a very gifted and faster runner. His son, Domniq, seems to have inherited his skill. My dad has been running religiously over the past few months.

Me? I hadn't ran a mile since... May?

So my goal was to run the whole thing without walking.

As we arrived on early Saturday morning, I stood by after registration and waited for the big event.

"We're going to run this thing in 18 minutes," Brad proclaimed, looking down at his GPS-powered stopwatch device.

I calculated that this meant 9-minute miles. Doable... I think.

Those ambitious enough to run the 10K were situated in a huge group at the front line. The rest of us had our own line behind them. At take-off, we all moved as a giant mass down First St. By the first turn, we spread out a bit more. I kept up with Brad and Dom's clip pretty easily; my dad faded out into the background after awhile.

The first mile was mostly a breeze, much to my surprise. Every 1/4 mile of the way, Brad gave us updates.

"More than halfway done," he would say, or ,"80% completed," or "We're running at a 9-mile-minute pace right now."

We would pass by older couples who had shuffled out to the curb with their morning coffee, wanting to observe those jogging by. Towards the end, several people were lined up on the sidelines, cheering us on and waving.

By the mid to last part of the second mile, I was starting to get pretty tired. First of all, I threw this whole idea onto my body without much warning. Very little stretching, no training, and not to mention, it was earlier in the morning than I am used to seeing. However, I did push through, all without walking. Brad and Dom finished at about 16:55, and I rolled in a few seconds later. My dad was a little while after that.

Today, needless to say, I feel a bit rattled. Actually, my body feels like that of someone in her 80s whenever I try to stand up after sitting for long periods of time. I brought it on myself, though, and it does inspire me to continue to stay fit so races like this are possible. Although, before beginning, when someone heard that I had not trained, he said, "Well, she has youth on her side."

And I'm afraid that fact, more than anything else, contribute mostly to why I was able to finish without walking or keeling over and dying.

I won't always be 24, though, so next time I would be better suited if I was physically prepared.

---

Love you all! I'll be back soon with more thoughts.

T

Review

2010-09-13T23:48:00.003-05:00

Wearing a mustard yellow dress and a camera strapped around my neck, this weekend I was both wedding photographer and brides maid. I pulled it off because I have a business partner who is a great wedding photographer, with or without me. The moments with me were a welcome break to her, but the moments without still turned out nicely.

It was a lovely wedding and a wonderful day. And I'm not just saying that because my good friend got married and it's my duty. It is all true-- my friend was a beautiful bride, inside and out. The style and details of the wedding was so "her," and everything ran smoothly. I was honored to be a part of this special day on Saturday.

Below are a couple pictures I snagged from our IA Facebook page to share with you... check our IA blog or website for more (tomorrow):

On Sunday morning, I attended an adult Sunday School class. It is something new that our church is offering. I am signed up to be in this class for the next 4 weeks with around 20 other individuals, and our teacher is a man in our church who recently lost his wife to lung cancer. His topic is Heaven.

Needless to say, the first session was a tearjerker. His interest in the topic paired with his passion for Christ and his ability to teach is going to make this class fantastic. I can't wait to see what God continue to teach us all about Heaven. He made a good point to us all: when we plan a week-long vacation, we usually do research. We're going to a new place, and we want to know all about it before we go. Fair enough. But. Are we researching with the same vigor regarding our eternal destination? A vacation lasts a week, but your final retreat after death is a forever place. Are we interested in the details, or do we just take for granted what we think we know about it? I am anxious to learn more!

Pumpkin Festival starts in about 48 hours. IA is finally coming along. Today we made great progress. I have spent about 14 out of 16 of my waking hours today at the office, but it's all been worth it. I can't wait to have our doors open to the P Fest crowd. My to-do list for the festival is as follows, despite the fact I'll be in this office for most of it:
1) Eat an elephant ear.
2) Drink a lemonade shake-up.
3) Eat a meal in the food tent.
4) Ride the Ferris Wheel.
5) Attend the parade.

If I get all that done, I'll be happy.

Tonight, during about an hour and a half of the time I wasn't at the office, I attended my small group bible study. We're studying Philippians. I really love my group. I am by far the youngest. There are 4 other couples and then another single older lady, and then me :) But I love it. I feel like I have so much to learn from the older and wiser, and the more I can surround myself with those type of people, the better.

Upon arrival tonight, the leader of the group looked at me and said, "Taryn, do you realize you are the most important person here?"

Speaking with sarcasm, I answered, "Of course. But does everyone else realize it?"

He laughed. "Really, though," he said, "You're the youngest one here. We have a lot to learn from you."

Someone else nodded.

"I think it's the other way around," I told him.

Well, kids. I better sign off. I need to get home, eat a bowl of cereal, and get some sleep before starting another busy day. Love you all. I'll end with a picture of the San Fransisco skyline I took while in CA this August. A bit random, but just got done editing the rest of my CA trip pictures tonight, and I liked this one.

T

Pumpkin

2010-09-05T17:53:00.002-05:00

I purchased a bag of candy corn pumpkins and emptied it into a bowl. I put the bowl on my desk at work. I knew I would be safe with Kristi; she has expressed more than once her disgust of candy corn, and pumpkins in general.

Yet I find it interesting how every time she walks by my desk, she pops one into her mouth. As does several other office visitors. I am glad that they do. It takes the temptation of overdosing on a high-sugar, worthless sets of calories type candy, away from me.

It's that time of year again. The time of year that brings about intermittent periods of crisp, cool air and deep blue-sky days. The time of year that Morton adopts the smell of rotting pumpkins in the air. The time of year that Dairy Queen announces on its sign "Pumpkin Pie Blizzards are back!" and half of Morton can be found searching under picnic tables and benches for the hidden pumpkin pin.

I have already logged about 3 hours looking for that pin. I've had my fair share of pumpkin candy corn, and upon seeing the DQ sign yesterday, I dreamt about ordering a blizzard but have yet to do it.

Apart from thinking "pumpkin," I have been filling my time with wedding photography, sprucing up the new office space, and trying to get through whatever else is on my plate. It seems like even in my down time, I still have so much to do. I liken this to how I often view eating, if you may humor me with my analogy here. My eyes often tend to be bigger than my stomach. I would like "one of everything," and usually in no small portion. This looks interesting, that looks great, and for that I should have room to spare. Yet after I sit down, take a few bites, and survey what I have before me, I find I'm "full" a lot sooner than anticipated. Before I know it, I have a plate full of food I can't finish.

And so runs my life. I say "yes," to this, "yes" to that, and "absolutely" to everything else, because, well, it all looks interesting. It all seems feasible. And why should I turn it down?

Nonetheless, I am learning the power of saying "no," and the power of relaxing with a book in hand, going to bed early, or just taking an hour to pamper myself amidst chaos.

Anyway. It's Labor Day tomorrow, which means a day off. This is very exciting.

We shot a wedding this weekend, on Saturday. It was truly gorgeous weather. The bride and groom were also beautiful people inside and out, both of them vivacious, full of life, laughter, and love. There was never a dull moment the entire day. The highlight of my day was as follows:

Kristi and I were walking out of the church with the bride and groom trailing behind, both of us with our hands full of camera equipment. My eyes were fixed on a small piece of cardboard that one of the groom's men was eating out of... he saw me staring so I asked, "What's in there?"

"It's a cinnamon roll. Do you want the last bite?" he asked.

I did, but replied, "No, I'm not going to finish your cinnamon roll for you. I would hate to take your last bite."

"No, no," he said, moving towards me, "I can't finish it. Here," he offered, holding the fork out to me with a huge piece of cinnamon roll that was dripping with frosting.

I smiled big, and with no hands to help me, I leaned in and enjoyed the bite of warm cinnamon and sugar.

"That is amazing," I told him.

"It's the best bite, too," he agreed, "because it was right at the bottom so it was soaked in all the frosting."

YUM.

Let me make it clear that this groom's man was older and married. No sparks flew, and rightfully so. But I will say, feeding me delicious food may just be a quick way to my heart...

That night, I went out to dinner with my parents and a family friend couple of ours. We ate at a wonderful pizza place, then we came back to our house and played cards. I was introduced to buck Euchre. I have never played this version before, and my beginner's luck was nowhere to be found. I ended the first round with a score of -16. For those of you who have never played, this isn't like golf where a negative score is good.

As soon as our fifth player arrived, we played 5-way Euchre, always a favorite.

Today was excellent. I am off to a campfire shortly, so must wrap things up. Otherwise I'd probably just keep writing. I'll be back soon... love you all.

The Giving Stone

2010-08-31T19:21:00.004-05:00

"If everything looks good to you, I'll just have you sign this," I told my client, consulting a stack of papers on my desk. But the paper wasn't where I thought it was.

A mom of one of our brides had come in for a morning session to order her photo book. We were just wrapping things up.

"I have something for you," she told me. I was still searching the stack of papers.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes. I might cry," she confessed.

At this, I stopped my search and looked up. Seeing the emotion on her face, I turned toward her. This was no time for searching for a design contract.

"When my father died a few years ago," she began, but then her voice broke. She covered her mouth and let the tears come.

I allowed a few seconds of silence, and gave her a sympathetic look.

"See," she shook her head, "I told you I would cry. I'm still emotional about it sometimes."

"That's alright," I said, still unaware of what she would be getting at.

"Anyway, when my dad passed away, my mom gave me this stone," she continued, handing me a small black bag. I opened it up and out slipped a shiny silver stone with the word "Imagine" carved into it.

"Every time I became sad or had a hard time, I looked at this stone that sat on the table in my house, and it brought me comfort," she said. "Knowing that this was a special gift given to me in a difficult time really helped me to get through it."

She smiled.

"But just today, I saw it again before I came here. And I thought... it's time. It's time to pass it on. So I brought it here to give to you and Kristi. Whenever you have difficult times or struggles in your business, let this stone be a reminder of hope and joy."

I studied the stone, and then looked up in wonder.

"Thank you so much," I said, but even as the words came out they seemed too trite for the generosity of this gift.

"And I think it's so appropriate that it says 'Imagine' on it," she said.

"Absolutely. When we renamed our business, we chose the word 'Imagine' because of all the possibilities that the word holds," I told her.

And the possibilities ARE endless. The sky is the limit with creativity... and with generosity, kindness, and joy.

That simple but thoughtful gift of giving on in remembrance of what or who was leaves me feeling warm inside. The concept of paying it forward and touching others through a simple object is magnificent. I am honored to be on the receiving end!

Love you all!

T

August Rush

2010-08-26T21:23:00.004-05:00

I have been wanting to write. I had to wait until I had time, and the time is now.

It has been incredibly busy. So busy, in fact, that even when I am supposed to be relaxing (i.e. resting, listening, watching, or sleeping), my mind is still on overdrive. It's like every part of me is still and relaxed except my brain. It is like there is some part of my subconsciousness that is still making to-do lists and solving yesterday's problem and creating tomorrow's plan. Oh, well.

I would like to say that everything will settle down in September. But it won't. We have 3 weddings and the only weekend we don't have a wedding is the Pumpkin Festival, so Kristi and I will be in our studio during a great portion of this event. Don't get me wrong; I'm still going to go to the food tent, ride the Ferris Wheel, and eat an elephant ear. But most of the time, I'll be found behind Imagine Artists' new door, conveniently located right in the heart of the P Fest!

So enough on how busy my life is. I am glad to have the time to sit down and write at this moment. I truly do love to write.

One thing God has been teaching me over the past several weeks is how sufficient His grace truly is. That Truth has rung a new melody in my ears. It is interesting how God uses certain situations in your life to teach you different lessons or reveal certain truths. I love it. We cannot possibly understand why God does what He does, even the good things. Sometimes, we are blessed far beyond measure, and other times, we are left standing in the middle of an open field, empty-handed, deserted, and lonely. Either way, we still have Christ.

I just read a quote the other day that I loved. Confession: It came from one of my Droid apps. But hear me out, it's this Daily Bible app that gives you a Bible verse every day, and among other features it has a "Daily Quote" that I always read. Here it was:

‎"Contentment is not by addition but by subtraction: seeking to add a thing will not bring contentment. Instead, subtracting from your desires until you are satisfied only with Christ brings contentment." - Jeremiah Burroughs

That really is the truth of the matter.

I'd love to stay and chat, but on the agenda for tonight is a bubble bath while reading my book, and possibly a bowl of Lucky Charms before I call it a night. Yes, I even schedule my nights of relaxation. It's funny, because I'm not really the "planning, regimented" type. At all. But somehow, making a mental to-do of all the fun things I have planned for myself helps me to enjoy it even more. Go figure. So... I'll be back soon. But first, a few pictures I took tonight. Here are 3 of my favorite things:

{1} Candy Corn. Every Fall, when I see the bags of candy corn lining the store shelves, I smile really big and buy a bag. Even better than candy corn? Candy corn pumpkins!

{2} Piano. I love to sight-read, although I'm far from perfect. My personal favorite is to tap out classical pieces, like the sonatinas and inventions. Improvisation comes in at a close second. Nonetheless, playing helps me to wind down after a busy day.

{3) Fall Weather. Exit, hot humidity. Enter, crisp, cool mornings & evenings with blue, sunshine-filled days. The sunsets are pretty, too.

Love you all! T