tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-144094522024-03-07T21:58:38.217-06:00{t}tarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06360734410142489235noreply@blogger.comBlogger401125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-2262063988001322682014-08-08T23:12:00.002-05:002014-08-08T23:12:22.139-05:00My Blog has Moved!Just an FYI... for anyone who checks my blog... I moved it to a new address! So if you would like updates, please read here:<br />
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www.tarynleigh3.blogspot.com<br />
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Thanks!!!<br />
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Much love, TTarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09937916627290434218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-25801236287861110002014-07-22T20:54:00.002-05:002014-07-22T20:54:55.240-05:00Confessions of a 20-Something Single FemaleAs a single girl in her 20s (I'll keep you guessing on the actual age), there are many realities I have come to both accept and enjoy. Here are a taste of some...<br />
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<b>1. I love my freedom.</b><br />
I wasn't always an independent person. But now, that word is the best way to describe me. <b> </b><br />
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<b>2. They have my order memorized at all the local Starbucks locations.</b><br />
I'll never forget the swelling of pride I had when I walked up to the counter at the East Peoria Target Starbucks, opened my mouth to order, and instead, the Barista filled in the blanks for me. Although, maybe I shouldn't be proud. Maybe instead, I should be booking a coffee addiction support group.<br />
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<b>3. The Mexican food place two blocks from my house? They also have my order memorized.</b><br />
Because too many are the nights when I'm driving home from work and I'm in my I'm-way-too-hungry-to-cook-and-even-if-I-did-I-would-starve-before-I-finished-cooking-it mood. Either that, or my mom hasn't called to invite me over for dinner with her and my dad. <br />
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<b>4. For the past decade of my life, I have always worked anywhere from 3-5 jobs at one time.</b><br />
And really, I don't mind it. Getting paid to sleep? Taking pictures of darling little newborns and color-coordinated families? Sign me up!<br />
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<b>5. I used to roll my eyes at the person who made a big deal over their pets and referred to themselves as "mommy" to them....... I am now that person.</b><br />
I have two cats, and they are my children. I buy them clothes, sparkly collars, and toys. I feed them and keep them alive. I have a picture of them on my desktop screensaver at work. Don't judge... they keep me warm at night! <br />
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<b>6. I am unable to sleep in past 10am, and for this I have deep sorrow.</b><br />
I'm not joking. I have completely lost the art of it. I think my ability was lost sometime between college and 3 years ago when my job made me get up at 7am.<br />
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<b>7. Some nights, I get into my PJs at 6pm and lay on the couch watching Gilmore Girls.</b><br />
Rest assured that popcorn is involved. <br />
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<b>8. My idea of a productive Friday night includes getting my laundry done for the week and cleaning the house.</b><br />
I do have a social life from time to time, but I'm just saying that the idea of folding laundry doesn't make me nauseous as it once did. In fact, it's downright satisfying sometimes.<b> </b><br />
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<b>9. My relationships are different.</b><br />
But good different. I am able to invest more fully and reach out more freely.<br />
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<b>10. Traveling.</b><br />
It's an option, and I have minimal headache in making it happen. <br />
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And so it is... the life of a single girl. Today, I heard a quote that said something like, "Contentment is being satisfied in Christ, and not thinking you will only be satisfied in a different set of circumstances."<br />
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These are my circumstances, and honestly... they're pretty good!<br />
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Love to you all... be back soon.<br />
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TarynTarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09937916627290434218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-21564763759898166082014-06-14T20:42:00.000-05:002014-06-14T20:42:20.182-05:00Better than Nothing... I think!Time slows down for no one. They always say that the older you get, the faster time goes. I find that to be true and wish I could slow it down... just a little...<br />
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I have had blogger's block lately. I can't tell you how many times I have come to the blank post board in the past few weeks. I stare at it, start to write a few paragraphs, and then close out the window, slightly exasperated and convinced I can no longer write.<br />
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So I'll make this a simple update, highlighting a few lighthearted topics, just to get back into the swing of things.<br />
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First up is Aldi. Yes, the grocery store. I just read an article about how there were two German brothers long ago that started grocery stores-- one is what we know today as Trader Joe's, a high-end, Americanized grocery store-- and the other is Aldi, an inexpensive alternative which incorporates the German way.<br />
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I've been to Aldi before, but the article inspired me to go back, so today, I did. I have determined that I should shop there from now on, that it is a "Taryn" store, for the following reasons:<br />
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1. Shopping at Aldi is like shopping in a different country, because it is so different than American grocery stores. I like that it's different; that there are boxes stacked up and lining the store instead of shelves, that you have to put down earnest money to get your cart and that you bag your own groceries.<br />
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2. Nothing is in order. This appeals to my personality. While this might cause heart palpitations for more organized, OCD types, the disorder puts me at ease. I don't like the predictable and it stresses me out less that I don't know what's coming next. It's like a surprise every time I turn a corner :)<br />
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3. Less options. This may be a drawback for some, but honestly, for me it's best. Again, grocery stores are usually a nightmare for me, because I can spend hours there. The more options, the more likely I am to get lost, wandering up and down aisles, studying the 50 different types of brownie mixes before I can make a decision. But at Aldi, you only have one option, two tops. This, for me, is like magic. I look at the product and only one decision needs to be made: do I need it, or not? If I do, I take it. If I don't, I move on. The process goes by much quicker and I find I am in and out in record time.<br />
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4. It's inexpensive. Aldi can keep their prices low because they don't have the overhead of lots of grocery staff including a bakery, flower shop, meat department, baggers, etc. Plus, they don't have to have "paper or plastic" in stock, and they're a quarter richer every time a careless shopper leaves their shopping cart in the parking lot without returning it. The drawback for me is that you have to have cash on hand and remember to bring in my own bags, but those two items are worth it if I can cut my grocery bill in half... which, in most cases, I can, for equal or greater value.<br />
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5. There is a feeling of accomplishment. Honestly, most of the time, shopping at the grocery store is something that takes longer than it needs, distracts me more than I ever plan on, costs more than I expect, and it all ends at the check-out line where inevitably, I impatiently tap my foot while waiting on the cashier and bagger to finish the process. Then, there are the nearly-dozen plastic bags I have to unload into my car, then back out of my car and into my house, where my cat Isabel promptly runs inside of one and goes tearing through the house with it hanging around her neck. But with Aldi, the checkout process takes way less time, thus minimizing the impatience. I am efficiently rung up, I wheel my cart to the nearest open spot on the loading dock, and I bag my own groceries. I like that, because I feel like I am doing something rather than just standing there letting everyone else wait on me. Furthermore, all of my groceries can fit into two large "green" bags as opposed to a dozen plastic ones. So loading into my car is easier and quicker.<br />
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Can you believe I just wrote all of that on Aldi? It's like I am campaigning for them. Maybe I am. Maybe they should pay me marketing money. But then they'd have to raise their prices, so never mind.<br />
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The next topic is exercised-induced urticaria. It sounds big, but really it's just a fancy way of saying exercise that causes hives. I first discovered this several years ago, when I was walking briskly outside one winter. It never bothered me much again until this past winter in Florida. I was walking on the beach, and suddenly my legs broke out into red blotchy hives, and it felt like one thousand bees had stung me. It is the most intense, uncomfortable feeling, and it always occurs in my thighs. I literally feel like crawling out of my skin and itching my legs simultaneously, all while contemplating getting sick. It will usually go away on its own within 5-10 minutes if I decrease or stop the exercising, but it's not fun while it lasts. It can also be avoided if I stay on an allergy pill, which I have been living on the past month or so. However, I ran out a few days ago and went on my usual sprint-walk-jog tonight, and was quickly reminded how much I hate this ailment. And I always feel slightly offended... like my body is trying to tell me I'm not in shape. I know that's not the case, that's it just an allergic condition that I have, but still. Can't I handle a little sprinting or brisk walking?<br />
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Oh, well. There are bigger problems in life.<br />
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I'll close with this... because embarrassingly, it's probably true of me.<br />
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I'll be back eventually, once I snap out of my writer's block :( T<br />
<br />Tarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09937916627290434218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-55399388664059892552014-03-27T10:12:00.000-05:002014-03-27T10:12:16.407-05:00Dreaming<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I have been gone for awhile. I am well aware. I keep thinking... "I need to write." And then... nothing. No topics rise to the surface, nothing inspires me. It is at those times that I forget that the very act of sitting down at the keyboard is an inspiration, and it's the blank screen in front of me that best pulls out my thoughts. It's just... getting me here, that is the difficult part :)</div>
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One topic of interest on my mind lately is one of my dreams. I have had many dreams in my life, and some of them have come true. A lot of them haven't. Either way, I will never stop dreaming.<br />
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Of late, I have been tossing around the idea of being a missionary photojournalist. In my mind, it would combine all of the things I already love to do... photography, capture and tell a "story," traveling and experiencing new places and faces, and communicating a message by way of words and pictures. Is there an organization out there looking for me?<br />
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A couple years ago, I almost had the opportunity to travel to the red light district in India. It was only a possibility for a very short time, but while it was I remember the feeling I had. I felt so excited, so empowered, so inspired. It felt so right.<br />
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I have to be careful that I don't look at something like this as glamorous, or with rose-colored glasses. It's not that it wouldn't be meaningful and completely fulfilling, but I am sure it would present it's challenges. And it may never even happen. But it's just something that has been kindling in my heart lately, so I needed to write about it :)<br />
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Continuing, another thought on the mind has been my current stage in life. On the one side, I am mightily grateful for where I am. Some days, I think to myself, "I love my life," and I mean it. In a lot of ways, I have the best of all worlds. I am single and independent, free to live my life exactly how I choose. I am a single working aunt of 12 with a perfectly-sized house decorated in my colorful eclectic style fully equipped with 2 darling kitties and my dream car. I don't have to do anything I don't want to do, and thus; if I want to come home from work and get straight into my PJs, make a dinner out of a bowl of Cheerios and treat myself to a bubble bath for the rest of the evening with book in hand, no one's stopping me. The ability to have the choice to do or not do anything is a wonderful feeling. At the same time, being on my own also means being responsible with my finances, wise in my choices, and accountable for my time. I have enjoyed lazy nights in, but I've also enjoyed the freedom and ability to counsel at the jail 3-4 times a month, run my own business right from my home and schedule photo shoots whenever it works for me, or go stay at my sister's house to watch my nieces and nephews for a weekend. The name of the game is flexibility, and I love that feeling.<br />
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Now let's look at the other side. I am blessed with a huge circle of supportive family, friends, and church members. Yet, I have advanced to a place in life where almost all my friends are married and are well into starting their families. Most of my friends are currently pregnant and/or just delivered a child. The miracle of a friend's love in the form of a beautiful baby never grows old for me to see or be excited about, but it is also a reminder of what I don't have. Marriage and family are both things I have desired since my teen years, and while I completely and fully trust God with the timetable of my life, I often catch myself falling into the comparison trap. Satan gets in there with mind games and makes me doubt my worth because, "I'm not there yet-- and why not? There must be something wrong with you." I know this is a lie, but it's a poison that creeps in from time to time. If I don't watch it, I can be completely panicked and debilitated by this whole situation. Then, ever so quietly and gently, the Still, Small Voice soothes me with His Truths, "Taryn, I know the plans I have for you. I love you very much, and am using you exactly where you are. Have faith... trust... and remember, I have the whole picture in mind."<br />
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And I am comforted. Then I usually zoom out big picture and remind myself that even if I never receive the blessing of marriage and/or children in my lifetime, God has begun a good work in me and will not stop until He has finished it... and with or without my specific blueprint, He will do it! And that's all I need to know. My ultimate desire in life is to love God, show Jesus' love to others and to do His will. That, I am certain, is a dream that cannot fail.<br />
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Love you all. TTarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09937916627290434218noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-3209427569500894222014-01-10T11:59:00.001-06:002014-01-10T11:59:23.063-06:0028I have been thinking a lot lately. So much so, as I come to the writing board, I'm struggling to put it all into words (this coming from me... I know.)<br />
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My life's journey... I just turned 28 years old on January 2nd. It would seem as though my life has not gone according to plan, at least regarding the blueprint I had started for myself as early as my preteen years.<br />
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{Pictured-- myself and my niece Sophia while celebrating my birthday}<br />
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Do you know what I have learned, though? None of it really matters. I mean-- don't get me wrong. It's good to have a plan, to have goals, to have desires. But you can't live your life with moment-by-moment expectations, because what inevitably follows is disappointment.</div>
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According to my younger self, I should have been married by 23. I should be living in a house with my husband who has a job that he loves, and I would be staying at home by now with my 2 lovely children and 2 pet cats. Doesn't that sound wonderful?</div>
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But that's not what God had planned, and for the past decade He has been showing me this. At 28, He still wants me single & childless, and not because those plans of mine were necessarily bad, but because He had bigger blessings for me instead. I believe Him.</div>
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All I have to do is look at my life. Yes, I have been able to enjoy material blessings on my own (dream car, my own house, Starbucks frapps, shopping splurges, fun vacations, etc.) but those things don't fulfill me. What fulfills me is what God has done with my single life up to this point. How has He used the very unique fact that I am TARYN, and that I am "single" Taryn?</div>
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The biggest thing that comes to my mind is all of the relationships He has given me. Opportunities for relationships that had I been married and/or with children, it wouldn't have been the same. I lose out on my biggest blessings when I choose to fixate on the things God has "not yet given me" or "won't" rather than on the very opportunities He places right in my path.</div>
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Throughout my experiences of college, owning my own business with a friend, living both alone and with room mates, making big purchases on my own, the prison ministry, and all my friendships... He has taught me a heart of mercy, the challenge of differing personalities, the act of forgiveness, the art of unconditional love, and the importance of attitude. He has shown me how to be authentic and genuine, and has convicted me to be true and not compromise. He has helped me overcome temptation and crawl my way out of spells of sin, and most importantly, He gives me the Hope of Heaven. It is this important truth that not only leads me into each and everyday, but motivates me to share it with others.</div>
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Last week, a "God" moment happened. I was with a friend at TAPS in Pekin, a place I have never been before. I was inside of a tiny room with the door closed, and only a glass window to see out. Suddenly, a woman walking by caught my eye, and as I recognized her as familiar I smiled and waved, only to stare in unbelief as I recollected who it actually was.</div>
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I immediately opened the door to greet her.</div>
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She looked so good. She had a smile, she had joy, she was focused. As we talked, she introduced me to her younger daughter, and she told her, "Honey, this is Taryn. She taught me about God while I was in... you know, while I was locked up."</div>
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With bright eyes, she told me that she had an upcoming court date, that her nursing license would be OK, that she was getting to spend time with her daughter and they would be trying out a new church on Sunday.</div>
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As we said good-bye, she told me, "Seeing you wasn't a coincidence. God wanted this to happen."</div>
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God knows what that meeting meant to me. I love the women I minister to in jail, and often I wonder what happens when they get out and are "on the other side." It was amazing and encouraging to see her living life, and it was like in that moment God sent me a smile.</div>
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I was recently reading back in my journal book that I started back in 2008. I record my prayers and thoughts in there from time to time... sometimes consistently for several months, and sometimes with gaps of up to a year. But it is neat to see what I have been through, how I have grown, and how my prayers change over the years. One quote I had written down that stuck out to me that I will end this post with:</div>
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I do not know what the future holds... but I know Who holds the future.</div>
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And that's all I need to know :)</div>
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Love, T</div>
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Tarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09937916627290434218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-57644096692971053372013-12-06T16:06:00.000-06:002013-12-06T22:09:09.080-06:00Time to Start SwimmingI am ready for a revival.<br />
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I am just going to be dead honest-- my entire life has turned to apathy. I very strongly dislike that fact, but it's the truth.<br />
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It's not like I'm depressed; I've been there, too and it makes you feel like you don't want to go on.<br />
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I want to go on, but I want to go on strong, and right now... I'm just floating. Have you ever treaded water in the deep end for a long period of time? That picture is representative of my life right now. I'm treading, treading, treading... and it's tiring, and it's keeping me busy, and even with all that treading I am not moving anywhere. I'm just stuck in the same spot, day in and day out, and in fact I'm getting so tired that I'm starting to sink and slip beneath the water. Satan loves it, he loves it so much that he's lurking underneath, waiting to nip at my foot and pull me completely under.<br />
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Wow, I sound like a complete disaster. But I find it impossible to be anything but honest when I write, it's my cardinal rule. I have to be real.<br />
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Anyway, to me, writing something down is validating it, and validating it is admitting it, and admitting it creates accountability. No more elephant in the room, no more "put on a happy face and pretend like all is well," no more lying. It's real stuff.<br />
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I was recently listening to a pastor on the radio and he was talking about sin. I believe his illustration applies to an apathetic life, as well. He said, "When we find ourselves trapped in a certain sin or addiction, we must ask ourselves, how did we get here?"<br />
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He went on to say we get there by essentially "worshipping ourselves." Sounds extreme, but it's so true. Any sin is an act of worshipping the self. It's so selfish. We only think about ourselves. Lying? We want to stay out of trouble. Gossip? We want to feel better about ourselves. Cheating? We want to get ahead. Worry? We're trying to control our own life. Pride? We think too much of ourselves. Lust? We are seeking self pleasure. Sex? We are trying to gratify the flesh and are taking someone else with us.<br />
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The list could go on and on. The point is, we sin because we worship ME.<br />
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But are we really so surprised? Everywhere we turn in this world, this is what we are told. You really don't have to go far. In fact, you could pretty much live inside of a plastic bubble and still see the giant flashing subliminal message the world is throwing at us in every direction to just "DO WHAT YOU WANT. DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. DO WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD."<br />
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However, it's not an excuse. Anyway, it's not an excuse to those of us who know better, who know Christ, who know His Word. It's no excuse to me, who is treading but not going anywhere. It's no an excuse at all.<br />
<br />
So the radio pastor's advice was, "How do you get out of this mess, this mess you have created for yourself? The same way you got into the mess. Worship. But stop worshipping yourself, and start worshipping God...<br />
<br />
YOU WORSHIPPED YOUR WAY INTO THIS MESS, AND NOW YOU MUST WORSHIP YOUR WAY OUT OF IT."<br />
<br />
This theme has been resounding in my mind for several weeks now. It's a powerful one.<br />
<br />
Worship isn't a small word, though. It's not something a treader can pull off. Trust me-- I've already tried. Worship requires devotion, dedication, love, honor, persistence, desire, and humility. It means that we recognize that our glory belongs Somewhere else.<br />
<br />
It means that it's time to stop treading and start swimming.<br />
<br />
Love you all. TTarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09937916627290434218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-18438206036112397372013-11-14T23:29:00.000-06:002013-11-14T23:29:27.579-06:00Living SlowerThe last time I posted, I wrote about my computer crashing. Just a small blip on the radar, although it did upset my schedule for a week.<br />
<br />
A couple nights ago, I was driving home thinking... <i>Wow. My computer crashed a couple weeks ago, and I remember at the time wondering if that was God's way of getting my attention. </i>And then, the inevitable guilt washed over me as I realized that yes, while it did get my attention, I hadn't changed a single thing in my life.<br />
<br />
I was still feeling overworked, overwhelmed, over-busy, and overextended, all to the sacrifice of time with God.<br />
<br />
Then I had the thought, <i>I wonder if God will try to teach me another lesson?</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
We all have those thoughts, like "What's next?" but very few of us ever really think God will actually strike us down with the proverbial lightning bolt.<br />
<br />
As it turns out, my computer was not the only thing scheduled to crash this month. The next morning, on my way to work, I was driving along Interstate 74. I was actually on time and paying attention, but still letting myself follow along with the flow of traffic when all of the sudden, the car in front of me suddenly and unexpectedly slammed on his brakes.<br />
<br />
I noticed immediately and slammed on mine also, but braced myself for the impending crash that I knew was imminent. It all happened so fast. Within seconds, my brakes locked up (with the accompanying road screech) and my little green bug literally slammed into the car in front of me. Later, I found out that my car actually weaseled <i>underneath</i> his, but it occurred too quickly for me to notice.<br />
<br />
Fortunately, the accident occurred right before the East Peoria exits, and there was a large area to the left to pull over right before the road blocks started up again. We pulled over, as well as the car in front of us. The lady driving checked that we were OK, and then was on her way.<br />
<br />
The guy I hit and I were left alone standing in the cold chilly morning, bright sun shining, several east and westbound cars whizzing by on their way to work. I examined my little green car, now completely smashed in the front.<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
"So... what happened?" I asked.<br />
<br />
"The lady in front of me slowed down suddenly and locked up traffic," he said, "And I had to slow down."<br />
<br />
"I'm so sorry," I told him, "There was no way I could stop in time."<br />
<br />
He nodded, rubbing his neck.<br />
<br />
"So... what do we do? Um... do you know how to call the police?" I ask.<br />
<br />
"Not really..."<br />
<br />
"Nothing like this has really happened to me before. Should I call 911?"<br />
<br />
He agreed that was a good starting point.<br />
<br />
After a few transfers, I was on the phone with the EP police, who dispatched a cop to come find us. It took awhile for him to get there, so while I waited in the comfort of my warm vehicle, I sent a few texts and then called my mom. I debated about making that call, as I knew I would cry as soon as I talked to her. And I was right.<br />
<br />
But she was comforting and I sucked it up, wiped away my tears and was able to deal with the cop just fine, citation and all. My dad was kind enough to come and meet up with us, just to make sure I could drive to work safely and everything was OK.<br />
<br />
What has followed has been an interesting journey through dealing with the insurance company and scheduling GRN T BUG to get fixed. I take it into the shop tomorrow and pick up my rental in the morning.<br />
<br />
At any rate, I have not missed the message. It's as if God personally showed up at my door step and said, "Taryn. SLOW DOWN."<br />
<br />
Literally.<br />
<br />
He showed me the best way He could without sending me to the hospital, and I am <i>so</i> thankful everyone is OK.<br />
<br />
It was humbling. It really was. Honestly, it showed me that I'm not invincible, that I can't do it all, that I don't always have to be on high speed. It's just not necessary. And it's not doing anyone any good, especially myself.<br />
<br />
I rarely take time to just sit down and read the Word anymore. I'm lucky to whisper a few prayers a day, and I have so much to do on my to-do lists that at times, I feel like I need a to do list for my to do lists.<br />
<br />
Yet it is interesting how in all of that chaotic living, I still find time for the things that are a priority to me. So something is off. And truly, I am thankful God gave me a second wakeup call, even if it had to come in the form of a crushed beetle. It's not a threat, like, "Slow down OR ELSE..." but it's just a little nudge, almost like jumping into an ice cold pool on a hot summer day... at first, it startles you and the unexpected chill almost makes you lose your breath, but eventually, it's refreshing.<br />
<br />
I can't wait until I get to the refreshing part :) His mercies are new every morning.<br />
<br />
Love you all... thankful to be alive, as the good Lord is the only reason I take each and every breath. To Him I owe my life and every thought, word, action, and deed.<br />
<br />
TTarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09937916627290434218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-58532548386853281372013-10-29T13:13:00.001-05:002013-10-29T13:13:07.831-05:00Every Moment<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I always think I know this until God gives me a wakeup call.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
The other night, I chose to stay home from a fun night out
in order to catch up. I needed to log some hours on my computer and get up to
speed with all my projects.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Instead of having a productive evening in, I spent the
greater part of it on the phone with IT support, figuring out why my computer
crashed and finding out that I would need to erase the hard drive and start
over in order to make it work correctly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
My first thought: It’s never convenient to have your
computer crash, but <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">especially</i> now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
But then I looked heavenward, and even in my seething
frustration, I smiled. God knows what He is doing. He knows <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">exactly</i> what He is doing, and He knows
how to get my attention.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
My problem is, I treat God like a genie in a bottle
sometimes. I come running eagerly when I need a problem solved or want a wish
to come true. I too easily forget about Him when things are going great, or
even when things are going so-so, and especially when things are so busy I
can’t keep up. That’s like a built-in excuse NOT to be in the Word or in prayer…
the Devil loves when I use that one.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
So it is as the quote says… I too easily forget that at
EVERY MOMENT I am totally dependent on God. How does God remind me? He takes
away temporary control of something I thought I had control over. And then I am
oh-so-quickly reminded :)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I am ashamed to admit all of this, and I am ashamed to
confess that I am struggling with keeping God #1 in my life right now in more
ways than one. My life will not end because my computer broke down, and God
knows that. But it does provide for me a lesson to put the brakes on, close my
eyes, breathe deeply, and then look around at my life to see which areas need
attention. And I believe it all starts with searching my heart.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Be back soon, hopefully smiling and with something fun.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p>T </o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
Tarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09937916627290434218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-18750723970333092012013-10-16T23:02:00.002-05:002013-10-16T23:06:06.633-05:006 Years OldPictured is my precious niece, Tillie. She is 6 years old. You will soon read about the importance of her age :) She is spunky, spirited, smart, and savvy... she also has a loving, caring heart.<br />
<br />
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<br />
Do you want to know what amazes me most about God?<br />
<br />
His patience.<br />
<br />
He is so patient with me. I make the same mistakes over and over, yet He forgives me and welcomes me back with open, loving arms. He even gives me encouragement so I know He is there, and when I ignore the things that will so easily help me, He readily accepts me back when I come running.<br />
<br />
I'm doing a bible study right now called, "Idol Lies," and one of the recent chapter discussed that as believers, often we still only "understand" God as a 6-year-old might. When life is tough and throws circumstances out of our comfort zone or suffering that we do not understand, our inclination is to throw a fit. We point fingers, we come up with excuses, we complain, we ask a thousand questions, and all the while ignore the source of comfort, healing, and peace. We doubt God's faithfulness and plan in all of the turmoil, and it is because quite simply, we are 6 years old (or at least acting like it:) When it comes to understanding why God does what He does, our little human minds cannot possibly fathom the <i>why.</i> And really, is it ours to know? We are not all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-present, but God is. That is why we trust <i>Him.</i><br />
<br />
To give an example, it's like stopping your 6-year-old after his 3rd cookie. The cookie tastes good, and the cookie makes him happy, but if he eats too many, you know that a stomach ache is in store. He may not know or understand the ramifications, or even the future plans (i.e. a healthy dinner on the way!), but you do. So as a loving parent, you stop him after #2. He whines, he complains, he throws a little fit, but he eventually forgives you and comes running back to your arms in 5 minutes when he falls and scrapes his knee. Why? Because ultimately, he trusts you, even when he doesn't always understand why you do what you do. He knows you love him, and he knows that without a shadow of a doubt.<br />
<i> </i><br />
So, this picture has been floating around in my mind, mainly because I have felt like a 6-year-old lately. I have also been using "I'm so busy" and "I just feel apathetic" and "There are a few other things I need to get done first" as my excuses to avoid reading God's Word. I was talking to a friend tonight, and we asked ourselves the question, "Why? Why do we do this?" It doesn't make sense, but yet it does; it's one of Satan's best tricks. If he can nurse an apathetic attitude and present 1,000 distractions, he will, and guess what? Most of the time, we're more than willing to take the bait.<br />
<br />
It's our loss, really. God misses us when we ignore Him, but most of all, we miss the blessing. We miss the opportunities, we miss the peace and joy that comes from feeding on His Word. Yet it's a viscous cycle. WHY?<br />
<br />
Again, I tell you. We're 6 years old :) But fortunately, 6-year-olds are typically teachable and impressionable. They have the gift of "faith like a child." They listen to the one they love and trust, and the teacher has the power to shape their attitude.<br />
<br />
I'm so thankful that my teacher is God, and that my Savior is Christ. I'm so thankful that even when I neglect my time with Him, He never stops calling my name. I'm blessed to be forgiven, and that because of the Cross I can stand before him <i>blameless</i>, and white as snow. And it's <i>free</i>, a gift. The best gift. The only gift in this life that delivers into the next.<br />
<br />
The more I am in His Word, the more power I possess to say NO to the devil. The more I am in His Word, the more it sits on the tip of my tongue to speak love and truth. And the more I am in His Word, the more I realize just how thankful I am for His supernatural patience and love.<br />
<br />
Love you all!<br />
<br />
T<br />
<br />tarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06360734410142489235noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-24800520868140666222013-10-13T21:59:00.000-05:002013-10-13T21:59:01.093-05:00Weekend Pleasures<div style="text-align: left;">
This was the perfect Fall weekend.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I started it out by going to Spoon River Drive on Saturday morning with a friend. Skies threatened to rain on us, but we made it through dry. We enjoyed walking through the different booths, and I found one in particular that I loved. Everything was unique and one-of-a-kind, and I found out the sellers just opened up a store in the St. Charles area last August. I need to visit there soon!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Anyway, I bought a fun hat and a really eccentric purse :) I was wanting a new purse, though, so I felt this helped me accomplish a goal!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Also, I have to mention the food... delicious pork chops, these amazing potato chips that they made right there, and a funnel cake with cinnamon sugar. Not one of my healthier days, but I took it easy for dinner :)</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I had never been, so this was a fun experience for me! I then had a photo shoot scheduled that afternoon. It was a rain date from the weekend before, and while the morning skies were not friendly, it cleared off in early afternoon and turned into a gorgeous Fall day! We were so thankful, and I was glad to be able to use sunlight and colorful trees for my pictures.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Another goal of mine lately has been to move my computer home. It has been in my office/studio since I moved into Jefferson St. Art Studio last winter, but now that I'm working full-time, I have been so busy. I have tried to alleviate my schedule by going down to only booking 4 photo shoots a month, which has somewhat worked ;) but then when I DO have a free evening, I would rather spend it at home than in my office editing pictures. So, thus, the computer move :) But I wanted to find a desk that would work in my space, which is quite small.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Today after church, I was in a "go-go-go" mood, partly because it was a gorgeous afternoon and sunny days make me smile and make me move :) But also, I felt oddly energetic, so I hopped in my car and drove over to Washington to A Step Back in Time. I felt a pull, like there was something there that needed me to purchase it. I looked around and found exactly what I was looking for: a black desk with a unique shape and measuring perfectly. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
As I type, I am doing so on my NEW desk. After recruiting my Mom to help move around my furniture, we ended up keeping everything and adding to it and STILL managing to make my space feel more open than it did before. Not sure how that happened, but I'm glad, because I thought we would have to get rid of my tall black hutch. Instead, we're using it near the kitchen, which I believe will be more useful, anyway.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
So, I feel as if this weekend has been both fun and productive, two of my favorite things!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Enjoy the visuals...</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
The new setup. My kitchen table used to be where my new desk now is. This opens it up a bit more.</div>
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<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
New work station! Cozy at home... now I can do loads of laundry or get a snack in between editing and answering e-mails :) </div>
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<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
New purse from Spoon River Drive </div>
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Lily Belle... trying it out!</div>
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Chair, coffee table and sign have all be relocated. </div>
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Couch and birdies, the same :) </div>
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Katie, if you're reading this, do you recognize the orange gnome? :) </div>
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The new "kitchen" hutch </div>
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The little kitchen table </div>
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Silly Lily </div>
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Love you all. Hopefully, be back just as soon!<br />
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Ttarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06360734410142489235noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-38453846614223862812013-10-07T22:47:00.001-05:002013-10-07T22:47:12.497-05:004 Months Later...Wow, 4 months?<br />
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That's pretty bad.<br />
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For those of you who actually still read my blog and may or may not check back... I'm sorry for my absence. Life has been so busy for me lately, and somehow the personal blog gets put on the backburner.<br />
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Anyway, in a nutshell, not a lot has changed since we last visited. The summer went by like a breeze, jump started by my Jamaica trip. At work, we opened the Marriott Pere Marquette at the end of June, and are currently working on the Courtyard, which is being built next door. I continue to stay busy on the weekends with photo shoots, and my evenings seem to fill up pretty quickly. When they don't, I'm thankful for a night here and there to relax at home (i.e. tonight!)<br />
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Pumpkin Festival came and went; I enjoyed way too many elephant ears and pieces of pumpkin pie. Lily is still crazy and sweet all at once. I did acquire a new room mate! So that is something fun-- Lynnae moved in with me about a month or so ago. It's been great having someone else around to talk to and live with :)<br />
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I won't keep you long tonight... but I will try to be back sooner next time. For now, a few favorite pictures from the past few months...<br />
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Lola Mae chalking up the sidewalk during our Labor Day cookout</div>
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Pretty of Sophie and Tonya </div>
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Christy & Jason </div>
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We walked to DQ :) </div>
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I love this kid! </div>
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I love this cat :) </div>
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Sophia and her cousin Abigail; fun to have Arizona family visit in July </div>
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The "first cousin" girl picture :)</div>
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Taryn-Sharla-Nicole-Amy-Tasha-Tonya </div>
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Cousin love! Soph and Adelayde </div>
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Lola Mae and Naomi Tasha </div>
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The 3 sisters and their husbands :) Love. </div>
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WI Dells family vacation in June. Such fun! </div>
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More cousin love, and this is making me miss summer already :( </div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
Our "family picture." This about sums it up! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6D4oF6EI6QlW_3_iJeuEa99h9R_VkUjfjdnEMudmGTxvF9VDae1t7EiRC1hFD1RmVbpuWSughzCBAWeO7dI9qu8MAVsZF-3D6UVFPblGJEkIE9S05kT8Lr5Z4YPRQTV6CCh4Z/s1600/IMG_7079.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6D4oF6EI6QlW_3_iJeuEa99h9R_VkUjfjdnEMudmGTxvF9VDae1t7EiRC1hFD1RmVbpuWSughzCBAWeO7dI9qu8MAVsZF-3D6UVFPblGJEkIE9S05kT8Lr5Z4YPRQTV6CCh4Z/s640/IMG_7079.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
Soph and me </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEKzJbSuv4-flqYI-63Augb5BGIYy7BRqilohrWeu7E-itwBsAtW2BfPK9sDQfHTO75FBydvpOr5oBIvl98gPkAletYKOddarQ8RpG22bH3G8ecERRhPZ0-wF2c9xTp9EIZ4IA/s1600/IMG_7092.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEKzJbSuv4-flqYI-63Augb5BGIYy7BRqilohrWeu7E-itwBsAtW2BfPK9sDQfHTO75FBydvpOr5oBIvl98gPkAletYKOddarQ8RpG22bH3G8ecERRhPZ0-wF2c9xTp9EIZ4IA/s640/IMG_7092.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
Fun Night with Aunt T; MHS dance/cheer with the girls, then movie night :) </div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
Liam & "Ten" </div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
Grandma K. in the P Fest Parade! </div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
My dear friend Terri :) </div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
Sister love </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlILnf1lOWbNyfJDrQ7zEzRE36tgBomwKXDOQKMfDBZdn-qsd4IvjYgNqMxdn2i6DaKtJL-E2KTM_aGq9mkn1cN7s6mySJkTuG5mmGb9ZeQFkuG1U-Wgf1L-mAPwYFihDJP8-c/s1600/IMG_7206.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlILnf1lOWbNyfJDrQ7zEzRE36tgBomwKXDOQKMfDBZdn-qsd4IvjYgNqMxdn2i6DaKtJL-E2KTM_aGq9mkn1cN7s6mySJkTuG5mmGb9ZeQFkuG1U-Wgf1L-mAPwYFihDJP8-c/s640/IMG_7206.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
More sister love </div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
Kel and Elowen (this one is for you, A. Chris, since I know you watch my blog!) </div>
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Love you all. Be back soon :) Ttarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06360734410142489235noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-10748263361006370152013-06-12T21:35:00.000-05:002013-06-12T21:35:03.265-05:00Making TimeIt has been awhile, but I always eventually return. You will never get rid of me completely; the writer in me can't stay away!<br />
<br />
Where to begin?<br />
<br />
The last time I wrote was about 2 months ago. I was just starting my new job, and looking forward to my Jamaica trip.<br />
<br />
I am now fully acquainted with my job-- in a way, I feel like I've already been there for a year-- and Jamaica is behind me. It is interesting how time marches on, whether we stop and realize it or not.<br />
<br />
I continue to stay super busy, <i>too</i> busy, actually. Things have slowed down a little bit, but of course being gone for a week didn't help as it put me behind. However, there is light at the end of the tunnel; one thing God taught me these past few months was how to prioritize, make the most of my time, and how to say "No." Just because I CAN doesn't mean I should, right? :)<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, I do like the new rhythm I have established, and once I can collect myself and all of my projects into an organized fashion, I look forward to enjoying things like bike rides in the evening, baking cookies, trips to the gym, and just a night on the couch in front of a favorite movie. But right now, those options seem a little far off, because other things take their place in line. That's OK; it will come.<br />
<br />
As I always say... I would rather be busy than bored, and ironically, I am so much more productive when I have too much to do than not enough. I think I actually thrive off of fast-paced, super-busy living. I'm not inspired until I have a deadline!<br />
<br />
Of course, as a predictable result, my devotions/prayer life is suffering. I have to make a conscious effort to make sure this happens. In a way, that is always the case; a priority is only there if you make it one. And why should this not be a priority?<br />
<br />
Sometimes I stop and think about how foolish I am. I so often try to take things into my own hands or dwell on my anxieties instead of just breathing a prayer to the Lord. That's the thing; I always try to make it too difficult. I always envision a grandiose scenario, one in which I sit in a quiet room for over an hour, writing out prayers and feverishly studying the Bible in complete concentration. Wouldn't that be nice? And sometimes, that can happen. But most days, I'm doing good to make time for sleep. So in those cases, I need to remember that making time for God doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing mentality. It can simply mean talking to Him at different times throughout the day in my head through prayer, or taking 5 minutes on my lunch break to just stop and thank Him for the sunshine. It can be choosing a kind attitude over a frustrated one, or it can be reading a Bible verse in the morning and dwelling on it all day long instead of thinking I need to get the whole chapter read so I can "check it off my list."<br />
<br />
I had the opportunity to share my testimony while in Jamaica with the group. It was so neat to revisit. I was actually contemplating doing a blog post on my testimony before I left, and never got around to it. It ended up being cool to just remember back where I started with my Christian walk at age 13; I wasn't perfect, but I knew I was a sinner. And as a sinner, my destination was Hell, regardless of what I had or had not done. The best part was that another guy shared his testimony, which was an amazingly miraculous transformation. He completely changed his life around. And while he may have "sinned more" than I did by the time he came to the Lord, he was still forgiven. That is the beautiful thing about grace; God does not hold back. He gives us what we need, and we do well to remember not to judge, because before grace, we are all going to Hell.<br />
<br />
Anyway, tangent. You can count on a spiritual tangent in almost every blog post :)<br />
<br />
There are so many other things I could share about Jamaica, but I won't tonight. I didn't necessarily want this to be a "Jamaica" post but just a nice update.<br />
<br />
I really am enjoying my job-- I love that it is fast-paced, and no two days look the same (typically.) I like variety, and I like having creative autonomy. Also, the view is pretty cool!<br />
<br />
Otherwise, I stay busy with photography, too. The past couple weeks have been a bit slow, but I didn't really put my camera down in Jamaica so I feel like I've been capturing a lot lately. I am so pleased that I am mostly shooting newborns and kids... that is exactly what I was hoping to do. And in a way, going to a photo shoot after a long day at work is weirdly relaxing. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but it's just a way for me to "unwind" and be creative in a different way.<br />
<br />
I am also still keeping up with the jail ministry. It really is dear to my heart. I have started going every other Wednesday night now, too. It's great because I feel like I can establish an ongoing relationship with these women, rather than seeing them maybe once a month (by which time I have forgotten their name). I feel privileged that God has given me a special love in my heart for them. I know it's not for everyone. And that's OK. It takes all kinds; some are called to do kids, some love the handicapped, and others take care of the elderly. I like the prisoners :) There is something about seeing beyond the veil of brokenness and pain that intrigues me. To me, there is ALWAYS beauty hiding behind it. I have always been about being "real" and getting down to the raw. You definitely go there when you're in jail.<br />
<br />
Well... I should go. As I always say... I'll try to be back sooner rather than later. We'll see!<br />
<br />
To close, a picture from Jamaica. This is one I took at the infirmary-- the place that touched me the most.<br />
<br />
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Love you all,<br />
<br />
Ttarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06360734410142489235noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-43249564003730514562013-04-24T20:22:00.001-05:002013-04-24T20:22:59.372-05:00The Direction of My Passion
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National tragedies always bring out an interesting side of
people.</div>
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Some appear shocked:</div>
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How could this happen? What is this world coming to? Who
would do such a thing?</div>
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Others use it as a means of pointing to their own causes:</div>
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Why do we react in such horror to this when children are
starving in other countries and dying every day? </div>
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<br /></div>
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And still others act as a sponge, soaking in every possible
inch of data to form their own conclusions.</div>
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For me—I tend to have a “big picture” approach. It’s how I’m
wired. And I’m not here to point out whether other’s reactions (or my own) to
this tragedy are right or wrong; I simply want to share my thoughts on the
situation.</div>
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My first reaction to the bombing was… That’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">terrible</i>.</div>
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My second thoughts were: Two bombs went off at the Boston
Marathon, and only 3 were killed? That’s not a lot. I don’t mean to belittle
it—it was definitely three too many—but I was thankful that it wasn’t more
destructive in terms of numbers of lives lost.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Another thought I had was—why ARE we so surprised by this
act of evil? This world is an evil place. The hearts of man are desperately
wicked. On Sunday, one of our ministers shared, “Evil in this world should NOT
surprise us. The only thing we should be surprised about regarding evil is HOW
PATIENT GOD IS WITH IT.”</div>
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I agree. </div>
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With that, I don’t think we should just become complacent and
say, “Well… oh well. We live in an evil world… what can we do. I guess we’ll
just start to accept it…” </div>
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Rather, my hope is that events like this do 2 things:</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Reminds us of God’s sovereignty. Certainly, God
does not inspire these events. But He IS in control. And He has all power in
His hands. We have been warned by Scriptures that the end times will be
terrible: full of evil acts, wars and rumors of wars, sinful activity,
hurricanes, floods and earthquakes… the list goes on. With that in mind, AND
knowing that the Lord has a master plan in which all of these things work
together for His good (ultimately), we can rest in that comfort rather than
being ruffled by the externals.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-align: left; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Renews our perspective concerning spiritual
warfare. And when I say spiritual warfare, I mean as a whole (as big as wars
and evil acts like bombing a marathon) and individually (all the way down to
the very hearts of the bombing brothers).</div>
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<br /></div>
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I often attend a prayer meeting at church that takes place
before services each Sunday. Last week, I was so thankful for a lady who had
the conviction to remind us to pray for the surviving brother responsible for
the Boston bombing.</div>
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“He is currently being treated in the hospital for his
injuries,” she explained. “There is an opportunity there for someone to witness
to him, and tell him about the salvation message.”</div>
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<br /></div>
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She’s right. So often, we forget about the criminal, waving him
off as a lost cause. Who wants to pray for someone who just tried to kill
thousands of people?</div>
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<br /></div>
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It caused me to think, though. As I have been keeping up
with the news and the search for “motive” and the research of evidence… the
thing is, these brothers in crime had a passion. It doesn’t appear to be
against American people but the American government. Specifics don’t
necessarily matter; the concept is that they had a strong passion that led them
to a terrific act. They had something to say. They were diligent and purposeful
in what they did, and one even died for the cause.</div>
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<br /></div>
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This sort of wrongfully placed passion reminds me of someone
from the Bible—Paul. Before God got a hold of him, he was placing his energies
in all the wrong causes. But once he saw the Light, He was an amazing
instrument for Christ. Without Paul, a large part of the New Testament wouldn’t
even exist. A lot of our practical application in Christian living wouldn’t be
written. He went from fighting against a cause to contributing to a large
portion of its future reach.</div>
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It’s amazing, really, when you think about it. And I’m not
hear to suggest that the young man responsible for taking lives in Boston last
week will be a “Paul conversion,” but I’m here to point out that it’s possible.
ANYTHING is possible with God. It is awesome to me that anyone with a passion,
even if it’s in the wrong places and for the wrong things, can be converted
into something beautiful.</div>
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<br /></div>
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And it brings me to my final point: this guy’s salvation. I
have always had a heart for the brokenhearted. It’s why I am in the jail
ministry. I wholeheartedly believe that deep inside every individual’s soul is
a beautiful story, waiting to be told. Depending on family history, past
circumstances, how someone grew up, choices made, values taught… sometimes it’s
a lot harder to break down the walls of filth to get to it. But it’s there.</div>
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<br /></div>
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It is ironic to me that this guy is sitting in a hospital
right now, being treated so he can live, only to find out that he has a
sentence to die. How would you feel if you were one of the nurses giving him
care? </div>
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<br /></div>
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But it begs the question… who promises you tomorrow? Aren’t
we all “sentenced to die?” Maybe not because of a crime we committed… but then
again, wait. Weren’t we all born as sinners, and it’s because of sin that we
die a human death? It is ONLY Christ’s gift of salvation that allows us any
other option post-death.</div>
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<br /></div>
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So the guy that still lives… who cares about him right now?
Who cares for HIS soul? Who wants to share the salvation message with him? And…
maybe it IS a lost cause. Maybe he has made up his mind. After all, he was
willing to take lives, and quite possibly his own, to do what he did. That’s
the kind of faith he had in his beliefs. But I still think of Paul. And I think
of God, and how nothing is impossible. And I pray for that soul, because it’s
still not too late.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I also examine my own standing with my Faith. </div>
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Where is my passion level for MY Faith? Am I willing to do
something radical for God? So radical that it affects many lives? </div>
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So radical that it may mean losing my own?</div>
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<br /></div>
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I am thankful to live in a free country and a very accepting
Christian community. SO thankful. But this past week, my views have been shaken
and my perspective has been enlarged. It may not always be so easy to proclaim
what I believe. How am I doing now, when I’m not punished for it? Sometimes, I
know I take the easy way out.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Daily, I have to remember: die to self. To live is death,
and to die is gain. In the end, God gets the glory. In the end… I live in
Heaven.</div>
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Who’s going to be with me?</div>
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T </div>
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tarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06360734410142489235noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-61571281954371548802013-04-09T21:20:00.001-05:002013-04-09T21:21:44.873-05:00Happy Spring!The windows are open in my house... so refreshing.<br />
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<br />
<br />
Well... kind of. Despite it being REALLY warm inside and the little black bugs that have made their way into my house, I am definitely enjoying the Spring weather.<br />
<br />
So is Lily. Her newest project is to hunt and kill all of the bugs, and mine is to sit on the couch as still as possible so I don't break a sweat. I will take this ANY DAY over the snow storm we had a couple weeks ago, that's for sure.<br />
<br />
:)<br />
<br />
Anyway, some news in my life.<br />
<br />
I am starting a full-time job this coming Monday. The opportunity came up for me a couple weeks ago. I am not going into full-fledged detail here on my blog, but if you see me in person, feel free to ask me about it! I will say that it is a marketing/graphic design position, and it's in East Peoria. It sounds very fast-paced and exciting, so I am anxious to get started and see what it is all about!<br />
<br />
Also, I am on a 30-day trial, so I would appreciate prayers for anyone who wants to lift me up... just that I would be able to put forth my talents in the best way possible and shine in this new role. Additionally, that I would be willing to let God guide me and be open to whatever He has for me!<br />
<br />
Ideally, I would love it if this worked out. God has been teaching me a lot about myself over the past several months, and one of the things I have learned:<br />
<br />
I am a passionate, creative, free-spirited person, but with that I need structure. So to me, having a stable, full-time job that ISN'T just a "desk job" but something energetic, active, and creative, then with the opportunity to supplement with my photography business on the side, sounds like perfection.<br />
<br />
However! I leave that up to the Lord, and in the mean time I am just thankful for the opportunity to give this a shot.<br />
<br />
Moving on...<br />
<br />
I am going to start going to the county jail twice a month on Wednesday nights. Tomorrow evening is the first time I'll go. I'm really excited. I usually just go on Sundays when I'm scheduled, which ends up averaging about once a month, but now I'll get to go even more often. I feel like it will be a little more laid back than Sundays, so I'm looking forward to getting to know the ladies more.<br />
<br />
I did go last Sunday and met a girl. She was an amazing encouragement to me. She had transferred from another nearby county jail and had just arrived. She talked about someone else in the ministry who had introduced her to Christ within the past month.<br />
<br />
It was SO cool to see how much she had already dug into the Word. She spoke of Bible verses and Jesus' teachings as if she had studied them her whole life. When I asked her if she grew up with a church background, she said no. This surprised me, since she already seemed so familiar with a lot of Scripture.<br />
<br />
More than anything, it was so exciting to me to see how enthusiastic and peaceful she was from the Word. It was evident that Christ had transformed her life and her attitude, and her insights and wisdom were already on solid ground.<br />
<br />
I look forward to seeing her tomorrow night when I go and I will be passing along a Bible that the previous lady promised to get her. I am so thankful for the freedom to give Bibles to prisoners, meet with them about Christ, and pray with them. It's such a liberty, one we take for granted. I'm glad God is still allowed in jail!<br />
<br />
Anyway, enough for tonight. Love you all!<br />
<br />
Ttarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06360734410142489235noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-2143201364386832322013-03-25T17:11:00.001-05:002013-03-25T17:11:22.661-05:00Smile<div style="text-align: left;">
I'm going to try to post more.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Really.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
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Here's the start... by me posting TWICE within a week!</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I
saw this today on Tony Evans' Facebook page and liked it. What makes me
smile? When I have joy, but sometimes joy can't be brought on by just
happiness. It has to come from deep within... kind of a confident
assurance from Jesus that You are loved, cared for, and accepted,
despite external circumstances. To me, often joy goes hand-in-hand with
peace.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
A
smile can do a lot... and when you can't muster one because you "feel"
like it, reach deep inside yourself and find your Faith... and I
guarantee, it will bring a smile.</div>
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<br />tarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06360734410142489235noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-49387084577567923552013-03-23T22:50:00.001-05:002013-03-23T22:55:39.450-05:00The GardenBy now, you would think I could have the more elementary things figured out in life, such as...<br />
<br />
Being selfish doesn't make you happy.<br />
<br />
No matter how much you gain or lose in life, true joy and contentment comes only from having Christ.<br />
<br />
People will always disappoint you, because they are imperfect. God will not disappoint you, so why not trust Him?<br />
<br />
Daily communion with Him (prayer, reading the Word, worship), the closer you feel to God. It is a relationship that is always worth investing in.<br />
<br />
Love and grace are a gift given to you by God. Ask for them and use as needed!<br />
<br />
So, all of these things and more, God has been teaching me lately. Attaining completeness in any of these concepts will be a lifelong journey, really. I will only truly be complete when I reach Heaven.<br />
<br />
I feel God drawing me close to Him right now. Or maybe it's just that in me "drawing near to Him, He is drawing near to me." Whatever the case, I am loving the feeling of peace I have regardless of my external circumstances. I have had a lot of opportunities to trust Him lately. I am thankful for a God who loves me and cares for me so deeply.<br />
<br />
As the Easter season is upon us, I have been thinking a lot about His sacrifice lately. I can have a tendency to become apathetic towards repetitive holidays, no matter how spiritually meaningful they may be, much to my shame. This year, however, God has awoken me to a passionate longing to meditate on the importance of His sacrifice and plug in to His Word in general right now.<br />
<br />
Last week, I studied and shared with the ladies at prison the story of Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane. I'm not sure why, but recently that story struck a chord in my heart. I believe it's the idea of Jesus praying to God in the garden with tears of agony, knowing full well what His mission would be but in his humanness, wondering if there would be a way around it. He knew what He had to do to save mankind... But, was there any other way?<br />
<br />
There wasn't. And while Jesus asked, He also said... "Not my will, but thine."<br />
<br />
How often do we have this attitude? As humans, we want to avoid the path of hurt and pain. Sometimes, we feel it impossible to believe a loving God would allow it. Are we as quick to say,"Not my will, Lord... But yours?"<br />
<br />
Jesus knew it was the only way, yet as a human he could have also chosen not to go through with it. He could have thrown in the towel.<br />
<br />
Why not? Up until this point, it's not like we had a very good track record with him. His own disciples-- those closest to Jesus while He lived His life here on Earth-- betrayed Him, denied Him, and scattered.<br />
<br />
I think they wanted to believe Jesus. But in the final moments, they were scared. Scared for themselves. Scared of what would happen. Selfish.<br />
<br />
And yet, Jesus decided to save us. He did it because He loved us. And He loved us despite how short we fell. <br />
<br />
I go back to the story of Jesus in the garden because to me, it illustrates a struggle. It shows me that while Jesus was perfect, He was also human. And being human, he experienced our pain, our shame, and our problems. He knows what we go through when we cry, when we're angry, when we are sad or upset or disappointed. When we feel lonely or forgotten or betrayed... He knows. He knows what it is like to have to make a hard decision, even if you know in your heart it is the right one. He knows what it feels like to be beaten, tormented, despised, and rejected.<br />
<br />
He also knows what it feels like to smile, and to laugh. To feel human touch, and to give a hug. To walk next to a friend on the sand, and to reach out a helping hand. He knows what it feels like to have little children sit on his knee, and he knows how to teach an audience. He walked and talked with several personalities while he was here, and he loved them all.<br />
<br />
Anyone who may know me, knows that I am all about being "personal." I don't typically enjoy small talk and avoid it if at all possible. With that, I have loved revisiting how very personal our God and our Saviour is... So personal, in fact, that he "dwelt among us in the flesh."<br />
<br />
Amazing! <br />
<br />
Tonight I had the privilege of going through a "journey to the cross" tour that my church put on. It was phenomenal, and told the story of Jesus' path to the cross while tying in personal meditation and reflection. As you were led through dark hallways lined with little lights and into dark rooms with a narrator and soft music, you were guided through the story of Jesus. You smelled the ointment Mary used to wash Jesus' feet. You held coins in your hand and listened to the clank of then as they hit the table to symbolize Judas' betrayal. You saw His crown of thorns and meditated at the foot of His cross. You saw the rock close up the tomb, and the hope and light of a risen Saviour.<br />
<br />
This Easter, I am thankful to Jesus for deciding to love me and save me. I am thankful for Heaven. Some days, when Earth seems hard, I wish I was there now. But selfishly. Because while I am still here, it must mean God has work for me to do.<br />
<br />
Lately, my prayer has been one of open hands... In most all areas of my life. <br />
<br />
I have been asking the question:<br />
<br />
God... What will you have me to do?<br />
<br />
Love you all.<br />
<br />
T<br />
<br />
tarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06360734410142489235noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-10070255704281136822013-03-19T13:52:00.001-05:002013-03-19T13:56:02.813-05:00Meeting CoriI have always loved letters in the mail.<br />
<br />
Several years back, God put it on my heart to get involved with the prison ministry. I didn't know how or why, but I knew it's where I needed to be.<br />
<br />
I became involved through my church by visiting inmates in a nearby county jail. I am scheduled to go talk with these women about once a month on a Sunday morning. I love it. <br />
<br />
Not long after I started doing this, my church also offered a program that involved writing to the incarcerated. Because of my loves for letters and my heart for those in bonds, I knew it was the perfect fit for me!<br />
<br />
I was assigned a girl named Cori. I could tell from her very first letter that it was going to be good. She wrote honestly and thoroughly, and I immediately felt a connection. We continued to write letters back and forth during the entire course of her stay in prison, which ended up being for the next three years.<br />
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It was amazing to see her growth, and watch her transform throughout this experience. I was amazed at her attitude and her candidness, and how willing she was to learn and grow.<br />
<br />
She is only three years older than me, so it felt easy and natural establishing a relationship with her. We talked about a lot of experiences, thoughts, emotions, fears, and struggles. It was always so refreshing to hear from her. We wrote about me coming to visit her while she was in prison, but it never worked out.<br />
<br />
Last Spring, she was released from prison. She is under a 2-year house arrest, so when we talked about meeting again, that meant that I would go to her.<br />
<br />
This past Saturday, I made the 3-hour trek to Grayslake, where her parents live. It was a drive, but it was so worth it. People kept questioning me about safety, and why I was choosing to drive such a far distance in a short amount of time, etc.<br />
<br />
I knew it was right, and that's the confidence I stood by. I knew in my heart, based on our letters and our relationship, that I could trust her. And I wasn't surprised at all when I pulled up to her parents' house, and it was in a very nice neighborhood.<br />
<br />
I used the drive to pray off and on all the way there. I really wasn't nervous to meet her-- just excited. When I arrived, Cori met me at the door, as well as a big, burly dog :) She invited me to the basement to chat for awhile. Unfortunately, I was on a time crunch, but we talked away 2 hours without it feeling like any time at all had passed!<br />
<br />
Overall, I was amazed and overjoyed by how grounded she was. Her outlook on life, her insight about situations, her advice, and her attitude were all amazing. I was glad to hear about many support groups and people in her life to help her get through this time. And most of all, I love her honesty and forthrightness about where she is at. She told me about her desire to grow.<br />
<br />
"My biggest fear is to wake up a year from now the same person I am today," she said, "I want to be able to look back and see growth in my life."<br />
<br />
This hit home hard with me, as I have recently traveled through an apathetic stage in my life... it's easy to fall into a rhythm that is selfish and simple, when we are called to live radial lives of challenge, growth, and love!<br />
<br />
If I lived closer to her, I know I would visit her more often, but we said we would definitely keep in touch via phone and letters.<br />
<br />
That night, when I got home, I received a text message from her saying,<br />
<br />
"It was really cool to be able to spend time with you in person today. Thanks for making the trip out, I know it wasn't a short one. It was by no mistake God placed us in each others lives. I'm grateful you're on this journey with me."<br />
<br />
I couldn't have said it any better myself.<br />
<br />
Love you all,<br />
<br />
Ttarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06360734410142489235noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-64937893451923525202013-01-28T19:39:00.002-06:002013-03-19T13:18:59.134-05:00Through Heaven's EyesI have decided that I love my life.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-IaUUqWJhW6bD1WsWAOTCjcERqvH7IX8lLY51POOR3PiYMz9NinZn22DLoHK-I-PmkXMOfiLfxfWgGiuWVkqEWsQs8wRAJLq7OufGCh1IQK4ASng8hL5Wl51HfEH9JyCkb0nh/s1600/458193_10100716120216370_397908957_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-IaUUqWJhW6bD1WsWAOTCjcERqvH7IX8lLY51POOR3PiYMz9NinZn22DLoHK-I-PmkXMOfiLfxfWgGiuWVkqEWsQs8wRAJLq7OufGCh1IQK4ASng8hL5Wl51HfEH9JyCkb0nh/s640/458193_10100716120216370_397908957_o.jpg" width="650" /></a>The thought occurred to me last Wednesday, when I was driving home from working in Pekin. I realized how extremely blessed I am.</div>
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I feel like I lead a life that the more "orderly" types would cringe and run away from... but that is precisely why I like it.</div>
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In fact, I feel like Jennifer Lopez's character in the film Monster-in-Law. She had about 8 different jobs: she was a dog-walker, a doctor's office receptionist, and many other things. I remember watching that movie several years ago and thinking it would be so fun to live that kind of independent, carefree life, but knowing it would probably never happen.</div>
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Well, it did happen. To me.</div>
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The thing is, though, I love all my jobs. And I love that I don't have to wake up every morning and do the same thing everyday. I love that I get "paid to sleep," but that I also feel like I'm making a difference and I get to work with special, heartwarming people. I love that I can help serve my church in a small way, and on my own time. I love that I get to use my graphic design skills to help out at a marketing company in my FAVORITE town :) and I love that this job gives my life structure, yet is so unpredictable in its hours that I could be called at the drop of a hat and be needed the very next hour. I love that I get to run my very own creative business, one in which I could not even possibly be confident enough to run without my foreknowledge and experience of co-running a previous photography business with a friend for 5 years prior.</div>
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The combination of all of these things is what works for me right now. It may not be a "forever" status, but for now, I like how each of these roles fit together like pieces of a puzzle to make up my "career." Every single job uses different facets of my personality and talents to help fulfill my heart. </div>
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And if anyone is still wondering, my ultimate dream job would be to travel as a missionary photojournalist, but for now, I'm letting that be another "part-time" volunteer endeavor that may pop up here and there in my life :) </div>
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It's amazing that I can write all of this right now, because I have actually been rather discouraged lately. I think I am letting Satan get my down. I let him speak lies to me and stir up hurt in my heart, and he pushes me to regress and regret. But it usually doesn't take long for me to put on my "big-picture" glasses, and I'm back on track.</div>
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If I look at any portion of my life under the microscope, I'm in trouble... I have to gaze at the sky, instead. I have to remember that my very life is only just a vapor... and what am I really here for? Sometimes I lose sight of that when I become too wrapped up in myself, and I bypass the very tools God has literally handed me. He has given me an opportunity that not many people get... the opportunity to care for people, to have a part-time position doing my first love, to stay involved with my church family and lastly, to be an entrepreneur and continue to enjoy what I love most: capturing life. What more could I really ask for? It's like He is saying, "Taryn, I have designed you very uniquely to carry out my purposes in an unconventional way," because... let's face it. I'm anything but conventional in the way I do things!</div>
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Like I said, with all this "LOVE," I'm not above getting down. In fact, I'm the best target for it. It is daily that I must equip myself with the Sword of the Spirit and the Truth of His Word, and honestly, the minute I humble myself in His Love, it's like Satan withers away. The devil knows his place, and when I remind him that I am content with where life has placed me, he moves on. </div>
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That's just it: It's easy to look back with rose-colored glasses. But as I recently discussed with a friend... the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side. And why is that? Because we are a disgruntled people. We're used to instant gratification and when we get what we want, we're still not happy. Someone else always has what we think we should have, and so on. But at the end of the day, who really cares? That's the thing. How many people have we truly touched in all of our bickering and bitterness and covetousness? </div>
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I heard this song for the first time in a long time this weekend, and it was exactly what I needed to hear... I love its lyrics and it spoke to my life right now. Here it is:</div>
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<b>Through Heaven's Eyes </b></div>
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<i>(Prince of Egypt soundtrack)</i></div>
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A single thread in a tapestry <br />
Through its color brightly shine <br />
Can never see its purpose <br />
In the pattern of the grand design <br />
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And the stone that sits on the very top <br />
Of the mountain's mighty face <br />
Does it think it's more important <br />
Than the stones that form the base? <br />
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So how can you see what your life is worth <br />
Or where your value lies? <br />
You can never see through the eyes of man <br />
You must look at your life <br />
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Look at your life through heaven's eyes <br />
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A lake of gold in the desert sand <br />
Is less than a cool fresh spring <br />
And to one lost sheep, a shepherd boy <br />
Is greater than the richest king <br />
If a man lose ev'rything he owns <br />
Has he truly lost his worth? <br />
Or is it the beginning <br />
Of a new and brighter birth? <br />
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So how do you measure the worth of a man <br />
In wealth or strength or size? <br />
In how much he gained or how much he gave? <br />
The answer will come <br />
The answer will come to him who tries <br />
To look at his life through heaven's eyes <br />
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And that's why we share all we have with you <br />
Though there's little to be found <br />
When all you've got is nothing <br />
There's a lot to go around <br />
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No life can escape being blown about <br />
By the winds of change and chance <br />
And though you never know all the steps <br />
You must learn to join the dance <br />
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So how do you judge what a man is worth <br />
By what he builds or buys? <br />
You can never see with your eyes on earth <br />
Look through heaven's eyes <br />
Look at your life through heaven's eyes
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Love you all!</div>
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T</div>
tarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06360734410142489235noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-23486908706174310822013-01-14T22:11:00.002-06:002013-01-14T22:11:46.317-06:00Real LifeWell... it has been awhile.<br />
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I am now on the other side of holiday cheer, the whirlwind of transitioning into a new business, and my 27th birthday.<br />
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My blog always seems to be the place that I feel obligated to be honest. I think it is because I have always, ALWAYS been truthful when I take the time to write. It is like FINALLY at last, all of the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that have been swirling around in my head come pouring out. I sometimes don't even know what any of it is until I write it out, and my own hands surprise me with what they type onto the screen.<br />
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Strangely, I have been good lately. I shouldn't say that it is strange-- it is truly a blessing. I often think about the couple of weeks following the split of Imagine Artists, and how I received the unexpected yet amazing outpouring of love and support from all kinds of people. I know now that God put that there for me to look back upon as a vote of confidence from the Lord himself.<br />
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However, what follows is real life. God promises to take care of me, but He never promises that it will be easy. A week ago, I was sitting Indian style on the floor of my friend's new studio. We were both looking at each other through tears in our eyes. Those tears were a testament to the hurt and pain we have both suffered as a result of our split, and while I wish I could say it was the last tears either of us will shed over it, I know I would be wrong.<br />
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Somehow, though, the hard times spur me into confidence. Not confidence in myself, of course-- but confidence in the Lord. It reminds me to realize that without Him, I fail, and there is no possible way to get through anything difficult without His help. And I am <i>so</i> confident in HIM-- what He can do, who He made me to be, and what He will do with my life.<br />
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And it is then that I realize that I have a tremendous responsibility. Those reflections almost always spin me into a forward-thinking motion, gazing at the "big-picture" reality of life and everything that it means. I usually have the sudden urge to book a flight to a third-world country to start a photo-journalistic missionary business, or start serving full-time at a soup kitchen in the south side of Peoria, or take foster classes and adopt 10 children without loving families.<br />
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Once I have had a chance to remember that my own life and backyard can be a mission field, I settle in and just open up my hands, reminding myself that God has me exactly where He wants me. I cannot question Him, I cannot drive myself crazing over-analyzing it or predicting what it could mean or what lessons He may be trying to teach me or what amazing adventure He does or does not have up His sleeve next; my one and only job is quite easy. It is simply to rest in His loving-kindness, allow myself to be wrapped in His arms of love, and breathe easy in the confidence He gives me by obeying Him with complete contentment and trust.<br />
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It is then that I can truly see my purpose in this life, and it is then that I am reminded that my problems here in life are so futile. It puts my passion into perspective, and it reshapes my day-to-day into a meaningful melody. I love it.<br />
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But since I'm all about honesty, I have to admit that lately, I have not been doing any of that. This weekend, one of my very dear friends who is <i>always</i> a breath of fresh air and spiritual insight was telling me about a Bible reading plan she was doing that she thought I would enjoy. It convicted me, because I am not in a place where I am consistently in the Word or even talking to God through prayer. It's not purposeful; it's honestly just me being complacent. I hate it. And I'm going to change it. Now.<br />
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Not because it earns me points in Heaven, or because God will give me a gold star. Not because it will make me feel better about myself or show how "spiritual" I am. Not even because it's the right thing to do. But only because by talking and listening to God, I will be paying attention to the best and most important relationship that I have in this life.<br />
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Nonetheless, I am happy. I am full of joy. I love my life & everyone in it. And all of that is cause to be thankful.<br />
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Thanks for listening to me... I'll try to get back sooner rather than later next time with some fun stuff.<br />
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Love you all!<br />
<br />
T tarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06360734410142489235noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-14677990825648377222012-12-06T22:46:00.001-06:002012-12-06T22:47:24.008-06:00Staying StrongI told a friend tonight that life just seems to get harder the older I get.<br />
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The light at the end of the tunnel is a crown of wisdom, having one day made it through many life experiences... I hope.<br />
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It is OK. This life is not meant to be lived and conquered alone. I shouldn't be able to overcome on my own, and I shouldn't even be able to take credit for the times that are good. God through His Holy Spirit is here to help, and it is through supernatural power that I can accomplish anything profitable.<br />
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When I surround myself in His Presence and Truth, I'm good. When I start to doubt or compare or sway, I feel myself shrinking. Naturally.<br />
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Tonight I was asked the question, "Am I honestly, genuinely ready to follow the Holy Spirit? What is my motive for wanting Him?"<br />
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Um. But if I am ready and my motive is to love others, then I have to be prepared. I have to be willing to see God in little things, to let Him help me love and forgive and show patience and mercy... Daily, to everyone that qualifies. I have to be willing to open up my heart in vulnerability and let my guard down, and sit quietly when He waits and get up and go when He opens a door. I have to find contentment in the moment, joy in each day, and a reason to touch anyone I come in contact with minute by minute. And most of all, my motive most be nothing other than that of love. Because as 1 Corinthians 13 points out, I can do all these things and more, but without love...<br />
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In the end, it is about listening, learning, and loving. I am literally a lump of clay in the Master's hands. He recently reshaped me, ever so softly. I rest in peace knowing that God takes care of the details, and He has always taken care of me.<br />
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Faith is what I hold onto, and confidence is what I have, why? Because I trust God, and when You trust someone, you can believe they have your best interest at heart and no matter what the outcome, they aren't going to let you down.<br />
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For those of you interested in my new exciting creative adventure, feel free to follow my new website and blog:<br />
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Www.tarynphotography.net<br />
Www.tarynphotography.blogspot.com<br />
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Love you all, be back soon!<br />
<br />
Ttarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06360734410142489235noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-62328897952064115712012-11-13T23:15:00.001-06:002012-11-13T23:15:57.785-06:00Every Gift is from AboveYesterday was when it really hit me.<br />
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I drove up to the IA studio to drop something off, and there was a "For Rent" sign in the widow.<br />
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It has been an interesting journey. I never thought I would see the day that I actually had my own business established downtown with my best friend.<br />
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And once I had that dream, I never thought I would see the day that we closed it.<br />
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A verse that has been my heartbeat over the past few months is in Ecclesiastes 3... There is a time and purpose for everything. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that God handed a successful business to Kristi and I during this season of life for His purposes. I know it, based on the fact that He blessed us so openly every step of the way.<br />
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IA has been a dream for both of us, in different ways. Running a business together has taught us more about life, about relationships, and about ourselves than anything else ever could. Now that I am starting to step away from it, it has become more and more evident just how much this business, and my partnership with Kristi, has taught me. I am coming out of this experience a more confident, passionate, responsible, and genuine person. <br />
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Kristi and I had many good times, and like any relationship, there was bound to be difficulty, especially given how different we both are. Imagine Artists was who it was because of our blended personalities and talents, and that equaled a beautiful thing, that under the best of circumstances, worked.<br />
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IA isn't closing because we didn't have a good thing going. Business was going well. If I had to tell you one reason why, I couldn't. It is the culmination of many years of laughter, goodness, sadness, tears, and hard work. All I can really say is that even now, I can already look back and see how God used this amazing time in our lives to shape us each into someone better, and that "someone better" in each of us will find our new journeys and touch others in more impactful ways because of how we affected one another.<br />
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Throughout this entire process, my personal testimony is that God has never shown Himself more clearly and dearly in my life. I am nothing but thankful.<br />
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He has appeared in my friends and my family. He has appeared in phone calls and notes and letters. He has appeared in encouraging words spoken to me daily by any given person, and He has appeared to me in the peace of my heart. He has given me a smile of joy each day, and an excitement and passion to carve out my new path of purpose for the future.<br />
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I have no idea how that looks at this point. All I desire to do now is to forge ahead with what I have, and be obedient.<br />
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So far, this has taken me to a free-lance part time position in graphic design at an ad agency in Pekin. When I'm not helping out there, I am currently wrapping up clients and projects with IA as I transition out, and having fun setting up a new photography venture for the future. More details to come in a little while.<br />
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I would like to close with saying that I truly love and cherish IA, and Kristi's partnership as a best friend and also a business owner. God has given me an amazing blessing from each... Makes me think of James 1. Every good gift comes from above... Thank you, Jesus, for knowing what I need and when I need it. Thanks for giving me the passion to pursue, the stamina to keep going, and the courage to conquer. <br />
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May His work be done... That He who has begun a good work in me can carry it out!<br />
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Love you all. Be back soon.<br />
<br />
Ttarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06360734410142489235noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-39976604331339109272012-10-18T20:53:00.002-05:002012-10-18T20:53:55.421-05:00Moments from GodI am going through the fire.<br />
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But do you want to know what I told my ladies at jail last week?<br />
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"Count it ALL JOY when you fall into various trials."<br />
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James 1... my favorite.<br />
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That's what I told them. And I felt like a hypocrite the whole time.<br />
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But if anyone understands... they do. Count it all joy to... be in jail? My situation pales in comparison to their circumstances, and the environment in which put them there.<br />
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More is happening that I can translate into words right now. So for now, I'll stay vague and instead share what God has been doing for me so far through this.<br />
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The Lord isn't required to make this easy for me. He isn't expected to reach out and SHOW ME that His arms are wrapped around me. He wouldn't have to touch me through others.<br />
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But He is. And for that, I want to cry. His Love never ceases to amaze me.<br />
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Yesterday was a very hard day for me. In fact, this whole week has been difficult... probably one of the toughest so far. Up until now, my emotions have been kept in check. I have been dry-eyed and objective. Very un-Taryn. Another miracle I credit to God... He has been my strength through this all.<br />
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And the week that I start to crash, He proved His love for me in all of this... TWICE.<br />
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Last night, I was at church, excited to hear a topical study on the Holy Spirit. I had taken a seat by the elder's wife.<br />
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As were were singing the second to last song before beginning the sermon, my thoughts were a thousand miles away. My brain was cloudy and foggy. I came back to life when she leaned over to me and pointed to the words we had sung.<br />
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"This makes me think of you," she said.<br />
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I looked at her and then the words on the page, trying to focus on what she was pointing at. I couldn't, though. I couldn't read the words because my eyes were blurry with tears. Through blur, I saw two words: God's promise.<br />
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I couldn't tell you the song it was, but I can tell you what she whispered to me in those few precious moments.<br />
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She told me that God loves me, and that His promises are true. That He will get me through and be my strength. And that I should believe her, because it is coming from someone who has been tried a time or two.<br />
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Tears continued to stream down my cheeks as I silently thanked her over and over for sharing those thoughts with me.<br />
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Then, there was tonight.<br />
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I was busy on my computer, working on some things, when my phone rang.<br />
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I have made it a new habit to ALWAYS answer my phone, even if I don't know the phone number. I glanced at the incoming call and noticed it was an Arizona #. It was not a phone # that I recognized, but I answered it, anyway.<br />
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"Hi Taryn," came the voice on the other end, and then she told me who she was.<br />
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It was an amazing girl I met in Phoenix about 3 years ago when I took a bunch of my girl friends out to stay at my aunt & uncle's. She had a pool day with us, and we had a lot of fun with her. I kept in touch with her via Facebook, but other than that, I had not talked to her in a couple years.<br />
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The words she said next sent chills through my body.<br />
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"I just wanted to call you and tell you that for some reason, you have been on my heart over the past few weeks. I just keep thinking about you-- I can't get you off my mind."<br />
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In that moment, it was as if God had reached down and put me in the palm of His hand.<br />
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The tears came again, but I pushed them back. What went on for the next 10-15 minutes was a beautiful phone call. An unexpected, totally random, yet TOTALLY God-given call from an acquaintance I had not talked to in a couple years.<br />
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We talked about what I was going through right now-- unbeknownst to her. All she knew is that I was on her heart, and I needed her prayers. I told her that God is amazing and that He had me on her heart for a reason.<br />
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We chatted about our time of life, and about how we were getting along. We talked about how God is faithful, and how God is good.<br />
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I could not thank her enough for taking the time to call me. She may never know how much that meant to me.<br />
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If I have learned anything over the past few days, it is that God allows us ALL to go through trials at some point, so we can thereby comfort those who need comfort. That has been proven to me two days in a row now. <br />
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Thank you to a God who is so much bigger than me, my world, and my circumstances. Thanks to a God that loves me in spite of my weakness, and in fact is STRONG in my weakness. Thanks to a God that never fails me, no matter how many times I fail Him. And thanks to a God who is my Creator, who made me for a purpose, and has placed His purpose of Love in my heart.<br />
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Love you all,<br />
<br />
T<br />
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<br />tarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06360734410142489235noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-5285340862455053192012-08-25T00:05:00.001-05:002012-08-25T00:05:24.451-05:00Just BecauseThere is a lot on my mind tonight... and to write a deep blog post at this point would be dangerous.<br />
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<i>Very</i> dangerous.<br />
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So I shall tread in safer waters... for now.<br />
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First, my picture.<br />
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Those are my nieces. They are beautiful and I love them. From L-R:<br />
Lola Mae: The blonde beauty with a soft heart.<br />
Naomi Tasha: Spunky & sweet.<br />
Sophia Richelle: We call her the "diva." She can dance better than me!<br />
Tillie Sue: Energetic and smart and a candy-holic.<br />
Sylvia Ann: 2 (or 3 now??) going on 20. <br />
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Anyway, there you have it-- the female representation in Kaiser grandchildren so far. Time will only tell how many I will contribute!<br />
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Onto other things...<br />
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Lately:<br />
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1) I have developed an extreme dislike of high fructose corn syrup. While I have decided not to take a vegetarian lifestyle, I have definitely added it into my eating habits as much as possible, and with that comes a lot of other education concerning my aspiring "health-nut" status. Which includes all of the anti-sugar articles about how white sugar may as well be a drug. And even worse: high fructose corn syrup, which can be found in pretty much everything we eat that is packaged or processed, but the obvious culprits would be soda & candy.<br />
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Anyway, I know that coming from me, this may be shocking, especially considering that my motto has always been "Always save room for dessert." I am not against a dessert here and there (or a Starbucks frapp, especially when I have earned my 15th star and get a free one!), but I just feel it should be eaten in moderation. Furthermore, a lot of the products we think may be "healthy" are actually not healthy. And if you're going to enjoy something sweet, at least make sure it's the real deal-- made with REAL sugar. It's not ideal, but it's better than the alternative (the deadly HFCS!) Or, a sliced peach or banana + peanut butter can do the trick, and it's a much healthier snack! (Another trick is using a healthy sweetener-- like honey. Goes delicious with a lot of things!)<br />
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P.S. This has only solidified further my 5-years-running soap box on my dislike of diet soda!!! (Sorry to all my diet-drinking friends...) (It also may be noted that I do have some cans of Pepsi underneath my sink and I drink one from time to time with my popcorn. HOWEVER, it is Pepsi Throwback... made with real sugar :)<br />
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2) I consume wayyyyy too much popcorn. BUT. A healthy way to enjoy this snack (and thus it is justified in my mind):<br />
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*I use organic white popping kernels from King Farms.<br />
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*I make it over the stove top with neutral-tasting coconut oil. (I have since learned that extra virgin olive oil is best enjoyed at room temperature for full health benefits, and it oxidizes at temperatures needed to cook popcorn in it, so coconut oil is a healthier choice because it can withstand higher temperatures!)<br />
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*I season it with sea salt.<br />
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TOTALLY justifies eating a ginormous bucket of it <i>every single night.</i><br />
<br />
<i>....Right?</i><br />
<br />
3) Enough on food... I went bowling tonight and scored a 99. There is a reason I never joined a bowling league... although my childhood best friend's dad owned a bowling alley... I guess it didn't really ever pay off.<br />
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4) Lily, my cat, found my sock puppet stuffed animal and removed her from my book shelf. I find it laying around in random places in my house. She likes to attack it when she's in a playful mood, or she just carries it around in her mouth.<br />
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She is also quite the hunter. She spots every single bug that gets into my house and even leaps into the air (she is a VERY good jumper!) and catches them. She swats them to the ground and bats them around until they die.<br />
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She also caught a mouse from our studio basement a month or so ago. It was so gross.<br />
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Meanwhile, my house will be rodent and insect-free as long as she is around!<br />
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5) I should go to bed.<br />
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Love you all!<br />
<br />
Ttarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06360734410142489235noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-76468835707503808732012-08-18T12:36:00.003-05:002012-08-18T12:46:23.297-05:00I Quit!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPuPK6GJDZIYijPkU63LhY2WNiuOlES9LvcJ4OLHZtlibUeMJw-IZHoUCc-FBGqrcVhwHVNBB-UpBXhP5tBT5T_bNyhqrC0Qbw09AARkGf4PYZalKplrxnqIJenQRsvZhBzr4I/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPuPK6GJDZIYijPkU63LhY2WNiuOlES9LvcJ4OLHZtlibUeMJw-IZHoUCc-FBGqrcVhwHVNBB-UpBXhP5tBT5T_bNyhqrC0Qbw09AARkGf4PYZalKplrxnqIJenQRsvZhBzr4I/s1600/images.jpg" /></a></div>
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<br />
A few months ago, Kristi approached me about meeting with some well-known photographers in the area. She was nervous.<br />
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"I can't imagine getting in contact with them," she told me. "Why would they want to meet with us?"<br />
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Her anxiety was apparent. But we wanted to do it, because we thought they could be a tremendous help to us and our business.<br />
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They are extremely successful photographers in their business. While they are a couple I have always known about and admired, I hadn't looked up to them as long as Kristi had. To her, meeting them would be like a young college basketball player meeting Michael Jordan.<br />
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She took the first step in getting in touch with them.<br />
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A couple of weeks later, we met and had lunch with a wedding planner. She was a huge encouragement in our life, and she suggested that we also meet with this couple.<br />
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However, we had heard nothing.<br />
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And often, silence can be interpreted as a "Leave me alone," or "No," or "I'm too busy to reply." We often jump to negative conclusions when there is no response.<br />
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"Do I dare contact them again?"<br />
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I told her, Yes.<br />
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She did, and we heard back from the husband of their team, almost immediately. As it turned out, they had not received our initial message.<br />
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Kristi and him started exchanging messages and planned to get together. However, he was in the middle of a busy time, and said he would get in touch when it slowed down a bit.<br />
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That happened to be 2 months later. Not a big deal, but it was a bit of a wait. Yet, we had no idea how the Lord used that timetable in His perfect way.<br />
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On a warm summer morning, Kristi and I stepped into Thirty-Thirty Coffee in Peoria and ordered drinks. We sat at a table, and pretty soon, he arrived.<br />
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I thought it would just be him. But she came, too.<br />
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He was tall and scruffy, friendly & warm. She was quiet and beautiful and captivating.<br />
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It is funny, meeting with people that you have never met, for the first time. Our intent was to get professional business advice from them-- how did they work together? How did they create such a successful business?<br />
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So we started off with the talking. Kristi looked to me, as I am usually the one to give the synopsis on "our story."<br />
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I gave a brief and somewhat surface story of our business history. It was meager at best; trite, at worst.<br />
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After my little performance, he looked to her and said, "Do you want to start?"<br />
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This is when it got good.<br />
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It was, like I later told Kristi, as if God sent them as angels to us. For such a time as this, He knew what we needed.<br />
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The next 2-3 hours were spent talking about God. She told us their story. Their success, their struggles, their sadness, their celebrations. She was vulnerable, and honest, and lovely. She did not sugar coat, but she told us the truth in love.<br />
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She told us about the "glacier." When we see a glacier, we see the 10% that sticks out of the water. What we don't see is the 90% underneath. Most people live their lives in the10%-- which is what most people see. Yet the 90% is neglected... even though it is the most important part. Because without the foundation, the inner workings, the thoughts and feelings and values and beliefs of that 90%-- there would be no 10%. Yet the 10% is all we ever let anyone see.<br />
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She told us about asking honest questions. What makes me sad? What makes me angry? What makes me nervous? What does God say about these feelings?<br />
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She told us how her and husband allowed their business to take over their lives. They exchanged good family life, a meaningful marriage, friends, and faith for a successful business. To others, the 10% looked good. But for them and their personal lives, the 90% was neglected.<br />
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She told us to be real. To be honest. To be open... to examine what God has done, why He has brought us here, and what He wants us to do.<br />
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Kristi sobbed. I sat quietly.<br />
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He was a lot like me, emotionally. She was a lot like Kristi, in terms of personality. It was so important to hear their story and see how God brought them through it.<br />
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She suggested reading a book, called, "I Quit."<br />
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At the end, we all held hands and they prayed for us.<br />
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It was like a miniature missions trip... in the middle of a coffee store. Neither Kristi nor I wanted to leave, for fear the joy of the Lord that had been in that place on that morning would leave us.<br />
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Kristi immediately bought the book and read it quickly. It helped bring a lot to light. She told me I would benefit from it greatly, and she ordered a copy for me. I read it, and loved it.<br />
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The premise of the book is to "quit" living life in such a way that is harmful. Quit being afraid of what others think. Quit lying. Quit dying to the wrong things. Quit denying anger, sadness, and fear. Quit blaming. Quit overfunctioning. Quit faulty thinking.<br />
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And quit living someone else's life.<br />
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There is no such thing as two people who are the same. In fact, even similar people are often quite different from one another. Which makes those that are different to begin with that much more separate. Kristi and I have learned that... in some ways... the hard way.<br />
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Because of differences and because life is so hard, we tend to adopt habits and ways of thinking that are unhealthy. They are defense mechanisms; they are crippling; and they will eventually kill our soul. This book helps to identify those areas and to show us that we can QUIT them.<br />
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And in quitting, we become free.<br />
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Free to be ourselves. Free to be who God made us to be. Free to rediscover who that person is, and live life in that way.<br />
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It is a book I would highly recommend to anyone, because even if you get through life pretty good, I guarantee there are a couple of areas in which every person needs to "quit."<br />
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This has been an interesting journey and I cannot wait to see how God continues to show me how to quit the bad and to continue the good.<br />
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Love you all!<br />
<br />
T<br />
<br />tarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06360734410142489235noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14409452.post-86023126269240999332012-08-04T13:44:00.001-05:002012-08-04T13:46:39.617-05:00Let's Try This.Before we begin: I want to start including a picture with each post. Even if it's just something low-key and totally non-related. Today's image is of my car. For those of you who only know my car as "Green T Bug," you might not be able to spot me over the next couple of months!<br />
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Green T Bug now has town spirit! Introducing my green beetle... with some new plates! YEA Morton P Fest 2012<br />
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<br />
<br />
I changed my blog template again.<br />
<br />
Right, I know.<br />
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This time, though, I think I have it close to what I have been wanting.<br />
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Despite my vintage-shabby chic-texture-colorful nature, it always seemed clutter-some to apply this style to a blog. Thus, the unrest.<br />
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I think what I envisioned but never really settled on was a simpler, cleaner, look.<br />
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Which is what this is! So cross your fingers, and hopefully this setup is here to stay (for awhile.)<br />
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In other news, I am on a budget. I don't like it... but I'm doing it. It's good for me.<br />
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Today, I bought groceries at Aldi. I wasn't sure what the result would be, but here are some notes from my experience:<br />
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1) The whole time, I felt like I was in another country (or at least the minority. Nothing like shopping at Kroger in Morton!)<br />
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2) Nothing was organized in a logical order (which didn't bother me... I like to be surprised.)<br />
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3) There were less choices. (Which was perfect for someone like me, because the more choices, the longer it takes. If I only get 2 choices, then my decision becomes much easier!)<br />
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4) There was a long aisle at the end of the checkout process to bag my own groceries (another thing I did not mind.) Also, you pay a quarter to use a cart, but when you return your cart, you get your quarter back (this should help stop my habit of stealing shopping carts.)<br />
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5) My bill was 25% cheaper than I usually pay (which is great when on a budget!)<br />
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I will be returning to Aldi.<br />
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Some of you may be wondering about how my "Eat Your Veggies" diet is going. To be honest, I felt GREAT on it, but I know that I was not getting enough protein. There were days that I got waves of dizziness or just felt hungry ALL the time. I think the Hallelujah diet is definitely legit and works if you can do it full-fledged. But to apply it to your entire diet is difficult, and without being able to do that, someone like me is left... hungry.<br />
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I also believe, after doing my research, that raw fruits & vegetables are the best way to eat them. I believe that there are different sources of protein, and raw vegetables is your best source to obtain usable protein and the nutrients you need. I also believe that other sources of protein are not as beneficial, especially meat.<br />
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So with all that being said, I am still trying to eat healthy and incorporate as many raw veggies into my diet as possible... but I still eat veggie scrambles with eggs, cooked vegetable & meat meals, yogurt with fruit, cereal with milk, etc... I have found that I can be healthy without having to completely adhere to the codes of the diet.<br />
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Still taking my barley twice a day when I can, drinking delicious fruit & veggie smoothies, chomping on my big raw carrots, drinking green tea, and trying to avoid tons of high fructose corn syrup or heavily processed foods. So this search for health has definitely enacted some smart eating choices into my lifestyle :)<br />
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Another snack choice I have tweaked-- I was misinformed about the benefits of Extra Virgin Olive Oil. While it IS an excellent choice and so healthy for you, it is not so when you heat it (is best enjoyed at room temperature for full nutritional benefit), so my popcorn theory of being healthy was shot to the ground. Until I learned of coconut oil! It tastes just as delicious on popcorn, and is still great for you when heated up to cook the popcorn. You can even purchase in a "neutral" flavor if you don't care for the coconut taste.<br />
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One more thought, then I'll be done. I started reading the blog of one of my older friends who is traveling to Australia, and suddenly I wanted to travel to another country. Every once in awhile, I get the spark to want to go somewhere. After reading of her first day there, it made me itch to go discover someplace else. Top on my list is India, but at this point, I'd be happy traveling just about anywhere if it was new. We'll see what the Lord has in store over the next couple years... maybe another overseas trip... which I would LOVE!<br />
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So, there we have it. Another update from me... I'll try to be back sooner this time.<br />
<br />
T<br />
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<br />tarynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06360734410142489235noreply@blogger.com0